Peter Cook Quotes

#1. If there's one thing I can't bear, it's when hundreds of old men come creeping in through the window in the middle of the night and throw all manner of garbage over me. I can't bear that.

Peter Cook

#2. We exchanged many frank words in our respective languages.

Peter Cook

#3. All in all I'd rather have been a judge than a miner. And what's more, being a miner, as soon as you are too old and tired and sick and stupid to do the job properly, you have to go. Well, the very opposite applies with judges. *

Peter Cook

#4. I may have done some other things as good but I am sure none better. I haven't matured, progressed, grown, become deeper, wiser, or funnier. But then, I never thought I would. (Peter Cook about Beyond the Fringe)

Peter Cook

#5. As I looked out into the night sky, across all those infinite stars, it made me realize how insignificant they are.

Peter Cook

#6. I would much prefer to be a judge than a coal miner because of the absence of falling coal.

Peter Cook

#7. The thing that makes you know that Vernon Ward is a good painter is if you look at his ducks, you can see the eyes follow you around the room.

Peter Cook

#8. I met a man at a party. He said "I'm writing a novel" I said "Oh really? Neither am I.

Peter Cook

#9. One of the ways to avoid being beaten by the system is to laugh at it.

Peter Cook

#10. I went to the University of Life and was chucked out.

Peter Cook

#11. The garden of Eden was a boggy swamp just south of Croydon. You can see it over there.

Peter Cook

#12. Job was what you'd technically describe as a loony.

Peter Cook

#13. I've always been after the trappings of great luxury. But all I've got hold of are the trappings of great poverty. I've got hold of the wrong load of trappings, and a rotten load they are too, ones I could have very well done without.

Peter Cook

#14. I have learned from my mistakes, and I am sure I can repeat them exactly

Peter Cook

#15. I am blind
but I am able to read thanks to a wonderful new system known as 'broil' ... I'm sorry, I'll just feel that again.

Peter Cook

#16. Everything I've ever told you, including this, is a lie.

Peter Cook

#17. I didn't know dirty words could be done that artfully.

Peter Cook

#18. Now I tell you the downside of this is you feel awful, but the upside is you feel terrific.

Peter Cook

#19. Playing rugby at school I once fell on a loose ball and, through ignorance and fear, held on despite a fierce pummelling. After that it took me months to convince my team-mates I was a coward.

Peter Cook

#20. You realize that suicide's a criminal offense - In less enlightened times they'd have hung you for it.

Peter Cook

#21. I am very interested in the Universe - I am specialising in the Universe and all that surrounds it.

Peter Cook

#22. Life is a matter of passing the time enjoyably. There may be other things in life, but I've been too busy passing my time enjoyably to think very deeply about them.

Peter Cook