Funny First Place Quotes

#1. Four D's of Disconnection: 1. Diagnosis (judgment, analysis, criticism, comparison); 2. Denial of Responsibility; 3. Demand; 4. 'Deserve' oriented language.

Marshall B. Rosenberg

#2. The funny thing is, I'm not really a big reader, not a big fan of books in the first place.

Macaulay Culkin

#3. If you want the Cinderella moments then you have to believe in magick.

Stephen Richards

#4. Debugging is twice as hard as writing the code in the first place. Therefore, if you write the code as cleverly as possible, you are, by definition, not smart enough to debug it.

Brian Kernighan

#5. Seriously, why was it tradition to stand when the bride came in? It blocked her from seeing her groom, who was the only reason she was there in the first place.

K.R. Grace

#6. Either man is obsolete or war is. War is the ultimate tool of politics. Political leaders look out only for their own side. Politicians are always realistically maneuvering for the next election. They are obsolete as fundamental problem-solvers.

R. Buckminster Fuller

#7. Life. It's a funny thing. Some want it, some throw it away. Some cling, some have it stolen from them. It's terrifying ... which is maybe why I was drawn to Fear in the first place.

Kelsey Sutton

#8. Could you love me, love me, love me
Do it, please, fall for me.
Baby, give me one more moment,
Just one more moment with you.
~"Fly Away" by Leo Tate

Ilsa Madden-Mills

#9. Such a funny thing, shame, that in the scramble to avoid it, you forget who has the right to shame you in the first place.

Keija Parssinen

#10. Success is living up to your potential. That's all. Wake up with a smile and go after life ... Live it, enjoy it, taste it, smell it, feel it.

Joe Kapp

#11. Sore loser? You bet your fuckin' ass! What on earth is wrong with being a sore loser? It shows you cared about whatever the contest was in the first place. Fuck losing graciously-that's for chumps. And losers, by the way.

George Carlin

#12. Just like magic, each one of us had had that someone special walk into our lives and love us enough to fight for us. Life is funny that way. Fate happens, and it's better than what you had imagined in the first place.

Abbi Glines

#13. I still remember the first gig where I got people going, it was Rascals in New Jersey, and the place was packed. I was scared. People were expecting me to be funny. I gotta be honest, every time I walk into a club, it's that same fear.

Bill Burr

#14. Wow. What'd he do to deserve that? Rescue orphans from a burning building? If so, you might want to make sure he didn't set the building on fire in the first place.

Richelle Mead

#15. It's funny, but have you ever noticed that the more special something is, the more people seem to take it for granted? It's like they think it won't ever change. Just like this house here. All it ever needed was a little attention, and it would never have ended up like this in the first place.

Nicholas Sparks

#16. You can't just go and ask people the questions that matter most
that would be too easy.

Emil Ostrovski

#17. I don't know if people really care about my opinion on things or how I come up with things, and maybe that's an insecurity and why we're comedians in the first place, so I think with that you keep doing the material, you keep trying to be funny cause you think that's all you're wanted for.

Nick Thune

#18. I like talking about subjects that aren't funny in the first place and making them funny. So anything down and depressing is something I'll talk about.

Chris Rock

#19. Why would you put bacon on nachos in the first place?" Misha asked.
"Dude. We're in America. We put bacon on everything.

Avon Gale

#20. Hades does not have a runny nose. I know this. The entire Greek pantheon no doubt knows this. For some reason, my nose is unaware of this basic fact of mythology.

Thomm Quackenbush

#21. This kind of mixing of ingredients happens all the time at fast-food places ... You know when you order french fries and there's a rogue onion ring at the bottom. You know, at first you're alarmed but you eat it. It all comes from the same place! You just have to go for it.

Chelsea Handler

#22. I'm writing a political comedy that takes place in Canada in Quebec. It's funny. Saying political comedy is a little redundant but it's a first. I've never done any comedy per se.

Philippe Falardeau

#23. Death is the return to the very beginning of one's life, with the possibility of repeating it again.

Samael Aun Weor

#24. I was taught to deceive by a great deceiver. Jenny will embrace me as a good man. Just as you did...before tonight.

Ken Cruickshank

#25. I'm just like anyone. I cut and I bleed and I embarass easily.

Michael Jackson