Funny Fifty Quotes

#1. The ideal age for a boy to own a dog is between forty-five and fifty.

Robert Benchley

#2. From: Christian Grey
Subject: &*%$&*&*
Date: August 23 2011 11:23
To: Anastasia Grey
Believe me when I say there are a great many things he'd like to do to your ass right now. Firing you is not one of them.
Christian Grey
CEO & Ass man, Grey Enterprises Holdings, Inc.

E.L. James

#3. Instead of finding himself in nerd heaven - where every nerd gets fifty-eight virgins to role-play with - he woke up in Robert Wood Johnson with two broken legs and a separated shoulder, feeling like, well, he'd jumped off the New Brunswick train bridge.

Junot Diaz

#4. Coveralls," I reply, and I know I'm no longer screening what's coming out of my mouth.
He raises a eyebrow, amused yet again.
"You wouldn't want to ruin your clothing." I gesture vaguely in the direction of his jeans.
"I could always take them off." He smirks.

E.L. James

#5. "It's an old habit of mine, Wal'r," said the Captain, "any time these fifty year. When you see Ned Cuttle bite his nails, Wal'r, then you may know that Ned Cuttle's aground."

Charles Dickens

#6. And do you know a funny thing? I'm almost fifty years old and I've never understood anything in my whole life.

Richard Yates

#7. I believe acting to be my own journey through connection more than anything else, but that's only my take on it.

Dawn Olivieri

#8. At fifty times the distance, you dispatched that ko-bold with three arrows to the neck. I've earned a trio to the chest. Seems you slapped him while you're tickling me. You doona want to kill me, which is a good sign. Maybe this is your way of flirting?

Kresley Cole

#9. If we are not living IN our bodies, honoring them as our TEMPLE, we are closing off the divine channels (nadis) of energy that run through us. Additionally, when we are not in good physical shape, we limit our enjoyment of our life experience. Thus, yoga is spiritual and physical.

Dashama Konah Gordon

#10. We didn't-?" I whisper, my mouth drying in mortified horror as I can't complete the question. I stare at my hands.
"Anastasia, you were comatose. Necrophilia is not my thing. I like my women sentient and receptive," he says dryly.

E.L. James

#11. Every now and then I'll read a book, I'll be so proud of myself, I'll try and squeeze it into conversation. People will be like, "Hey Jim, how ya do-" "I read a book! Two hundred and fifty pages!" "That's great, what was it about?" "No idea! Took me three years!"

Jim Gaffigan

#12. Wedded she some years, and to a man
Of fifty, and such husbands are in plenty;
And yet, I think, instead of such a ONE
'Twere better to have TWO of five and twenty ...

George Gordon Byron

#13. There are only two potential tragedies in life, and dying young isn't one of them. These are the two real tragedies: If you go through life and you don't love ... and if you go through life and you don't tell those whom you love that you love them.

John Powell

#14. You've brushed your teeth," He says, staring at me.
"I used your toothbrush."
His lips quirk up in a half smile. "Oh Anastasia Steele, what am I going to do with you?

E.L. James

#15. Now and again. Good residency is about having the power to ask someone to do something, but not necessarily exercising it.

Jasper Fforde

#16. She moved in for a better look.It was a portrait of Bob Marley,a pretty good one,actually.No Woman, No Cry ... that's right.No teenage girls either.All right,ten points if you'Re a poet,minus twenty-five if you're in a band and minus fifty if you're into the ganja.

Sheri Meshal

#17. God, I love the waltz, the way the elegance of the one-count draws your attention away from the restlessness of the two-three.

Elizabeth Little

#18. Kids did really well in their A levels, how do we respond? 'A Levels are getting easier, in my day you had to do fifty questions in a minute, if you got one wrong, they killed your dad!

Russell Howard

#19. Great. So he's a genius. Fifty points for Ivanclaw.

Margaret Stohl

#20. I glance down his body. He's still wearing his shorts and his shirt, and I still have my T-shirt on. Jeez
talk about wham, bam, thank you ma'am.

E.L. James

#21. I feel the color in my cheeks rising again. I must be the color of The Communist Manifesto.

E.L. James

#22. I wish I could just hug you all, but I'm not gonna.

Layne Staley

#23. It's because I'm pregnant, Christian."
He snorts, and his mouth twists into an ironic smile. "If I knew getting you knocked up was going to make you eat, I might have done it earlier.

E.L. James

#24. You're not celibate, then?" I breathe.
Amusement lights up his eyes.
"No, Anastasia, I'm not celibate.

E.L. James

#25. You're not going to tell me they built fifty-foot-high killer golems, are you?"
"Only a man would think of that.
It's our job," said Moist. "If you don't think of fifty-foot-high killer golems first, someone else will.

Terry Pratchett

#26. They are not grey roots! This is my new fifty shades of grey OMBRE hairstyle!

Tanya Masse