Funny Drug Quotes

#1. I tried marijuana once. I did not inhale.

William J. Clinton

#2. For too long, the system has been biased in favor of oil and gas developers: sweetheart lease deals, generous subsidies and a regulatory process so slanted in favor of Big Oil that often permit reviews are simply waived.

Chellie Pingree

#3. I say no to drugs, but they don't listen.

Marilyn Manson

#4. Now, most of the time you couldn't be too sure of the quality of the drug. Although, in my experience the stuff was always of a very high quality, because back then we didn't have business majors peddling lower-quality stuff in an effort to increase profits.

Lewis Black

#5. would have recognized the opportunity for a world-class joke, but would never allow myself to be funny at the cost of making somebody else feel like something the cat drug in. Let that be my epitaph. ***

Kurt Vonnegut Jr.

#6. You need more than luck to navigate successfully through a thousand sieves in succession.

Richard Dawkins

#7. What I say is that 'just' or 'right' means nothing but what is in the interest of the stronger party.

Plato

#8. Drug addicts are so funny that way. Just spinning around, lost in their own little world. Doing so much, accomplishing so little. How sad.

James St. James

#9. One of the many downsides to being a drug addict is never really knowing if the stuff is real.

Rebecca McNutt

#10. A friend gave me a drug for attention deficit disorder, because he's afflicted, but I'm not. So what happened to me is I suddenly had an extra-long attention span. People would tell me a story, and it would end, and I'd get all mad. "Come on, man, there has to be more to that story."

Mitch Hedberg

#11. As we celebrate Recovery Month, it is time for Congress to knock down the barriers to treatment and recovery for 26 million Americans suffering the ravages of alcohol and drug addiction.

Jim Ramstad

#12. Everybody funny, now you funny too.

George Thorogood

#13. Men and people will fight you down when you see the light. Let me tell you if you are not wrong than everything is all right.

Bob Marley

#14. I have horrible stage fright - you know how you go through the bi-polar stage fright thing? Then you go on drugs to get over the stage fright and perform, but then you're not funny at all.

Roseanne Barr

#15. I don't respond well to mellow, you know what I mean, I have a tendency to ... if I get too mellow, I ripen and then rot.

Woody Allen

#16. And I'm sure than in Poland, or somewhere, it is considered cool to drive a Porsche and wear necklaces and black silk, but at least back in Brooklyn if you did those things you were either a drug dealer or from New Jersey.

Meg Cabot

#17. As a rule people don't think other people on drugs are funny. They think they are tragic. They have a point, but I still had the funny.

Natasha Lyonne

#18. All my life I've been a lady bruiser, a wrong chooser, school refuser, drug abuser, born loser; clothes bummy, nose runny, it wasn't funny

Big L

#19. The stupider the peasant, the better the horse understands him.

Anton Chekhov

#20. I'm in favour of drug tests, just so long as they are multiple choice.

Kurt Rambis

#21. Fame was like a drug. But what was even more like a drug were the drugs.

Homer

#22. If you're not making mistakes, then you're not doing anything. I'm positive that a doer makes mistakes.

John Wooden

#23. Why is there so much controversy about drug testing? I know plenty of guys who would be willing to test any drug they could come up with

George Carlin

#24. No, no, no! I am not giving birth backstage at a rock concert. I need to be in a hospital, pumped full of every drug that they can legally give me!
I was so shocked, my only repsonse was,
'Well, he was conceived backstage at a concert, so it's sort of fitting for him to be born at one.

S.C. Stephens

#25. I do try to plot about a chapter ahead once I get going. I have a list of upcoming scenes with little notes about them. But sometimes the story changes and I don't end up following that.

Pamela Clare

#26. People who think there's no good way to die have obviously never heard the phrase 'Drug-fuelled-sex-heart-attack'.

Frankie Boyle

#27. I'm a huge fan of James Dean, that got me started. Nowadays I smoke four packs in a day.

Ville Valo

#28. I used to do drugs. I still do drugs. But I used to, too.

Mitch Hedberg

#29. Of course drugs were fun. And that's what's so stupid about anti-drug campaigns: they don't admit that. I can't say I feel particularly scarred or lessened by my experimentation with drugs. They've gotten a very bad name.

Anjelica Huston

#30. Funny how someone can be so beautiful and totally fucked up at the same time.

Missy Anne

#31. I used to do drugs, but that was way back there.

Dave Attell

#32. I would never do crack ... I would never do a drug named after a part of my own ass, okay?

Denis Leary

#33. He will come quickly; let this word be always sounding in our ear,

Matthew Henry

#34. It's funny, because my last record was a lot about isolation and people living in separate worlds that other people can't even understand, which drug addiction is the perfect negative example of.

Aimee Mann

#35. Reading is not an end to itself, but a means to an end.

Adolf Hitler

#36. Looking back, it's funny how the lighter family-friendly version of these classic Universal movie monsters that were satirized in The Munsters seduced me like a gateway drug into the genre.

Bryan Fuller

#37. Aldous Huxley took the drug mescaline and then chronicled his experience in the book The Doors of Perception. Now, I don't actually think that's the first thing he wrote: he probably wrote 'my brain is melting' ten thousand times, but it was the book that the critics latched on to.

Bill Bailey