Funny Apple Quotes

#1. An apple a day keeps the doctor away.' But eating too many, is quite enough-plenty. And you'll have to go see the good doc anyway.

Solange Nicole

#2. Apple is apparently building a large solar energy farm in North Carolina. And if there's any justice, the minute they're done building it, God will introduce a newer, smaller sun that's not compatible with their machinery.

Jimmy Fallon

#3. The doctor's wife ate two apples a day, just to be safe. But her husband kept coming home.

Joseph Gordon-Levitt

#4. When Eve ate the apple her knowledge increased. But God liked dumb women so Paradise ceased. Gwen Goodnight. Her Work.

Jennifer Crusie

#5. You're going to make something wonderful of yourself. I promise.
You're doing just fine.

Charlotte Eriksson

#6. No personal calamity is so crushing that something true and great can't be made of it

Bill W.

#7. You put a baby in a crib with an apple and a rabbit. If it eats the rabbit and plays with the apple, I'll buy you a new car.

Harvey Diamond

#8. You had a bad day once, am I right? I know I am.
I can tell. You had a bad day and everything changed.
Why else would you dress up like a flying rat?

Alan Moore

#9. Jesus did not teach His disciples how to preach but how to pray. To know how to speak to God is more vital than knowing how to speak to men. It is power with God not man that is of supreme

Andrew Murray

#10. I scoop a clattering cascade of green apple Jelly Bellys into the white paper bag and remember when we were seven. I got stung by a jellyfish. Tim cried because his mother, and mine, wouldn't let him pee on my leg, which he'd heard was an antidote to the sting.

Huntley Fitzpatrick

#11. I never liked apples. In fact, when I was a little girl, my mom wanted to give me apples in my lunch box and I would ask for green peppers. So bizarre ... It's funny - I don't have an apple a day, but I can say that I have a few a week.

Lana Parrilla

#12. 'Twilight' has been a great opportunity, and it's been great fun. Hey, if I'm 50, and someone still wants an autograph for 'Twilight,' OK, cool.

Christian Serratos

#13. Are you, or is someone you know, a gadget freak? If so, you doubtless know that Wednesday was iPhone 5 day, the day Apple unveiled its latest way for people to avoid actually speaking to or even looking at whoever they're with.

Paul Krugman

#14. The Universe is under no obligation to make sense to you.

Neil DeGrasse Tyson

#15. He's sitting casually at my kitchen table peeling the skin off an apple
with a pocket knife, a red apple that he has quite obviously appropriated from my fruit bowl, might I add.

L. H. Cosway

#16. But the thing that will always occupy me the most is music.

Dietrich Fischer-Dieskau

#17. I started rapping when I was about 12 or 13, just playing around with it.

Young Buck

#18. I love crazy names. It comes right from Monty Python and Woody Allen - nothing in the world makes me giggle more than a funny name. It became a thing I started doing when I wrote. If a person came into a store and said, "How much is this apple?" that person would have an insane name.

Michael Schur

#19. I'm an action fanatic.

Noah Hathaway

#20. Mrs. Winalski owned a candy-apple-red 1965 Mustang GT convertible, and she drove it like she could die at any minute and needed to get five things done before that happened.

Lish McBride

#21. she was enveloped by a wave of calm. Funny how just seeing the giant logo of an apple with a bite out of it did that to her.

Michelle Gagnon

#22. Same-sex marriage is not the final nail in the coffin for traditional marriage. It is just another road sign toward the substitution of government for God. Every moral discussion now pits the wisest moral arbiters among us - the Supreme Court, President Obama - against traditional religion.

Ben Shapiro

#23. Anything for you, Dru. And I mean it. Now, be quiet and let me concentrate.

Lili St. Crow

#24. Once you lose yourself, you have two choices: find the person you used to be, or lose that person completely.

H.G.Wells

#25. POCKET, n. The cradle of motive and the grave of conscience. In woman this organ is lacking; so she acts without motive, and her conscience, denied burial, remains ever alive, confessing the sins of others.

Ambrose Bierce

#26. You know, I've always thought that it would be really funny if somebody made a romantic comedy where absolutely everything went well from beginning to end.

Fiona Apple

#27. I've yet to be on a campus where most women weren't worrying about some aspect of combining marriage, children, and a career. I've yet to find one where many men were worrying about the same thing.

Gloria Steinem

#28. It is our ability to forget our problems, through the process of thought, rather than the passage of time, that frees us from the circumstances of our past.

Richard Carlson

#29. Cade was a vampire. Zach had finally gotten over that. For the most part. Other people could argue about how vampires didn't exist, how they were just relics of folklore and sexual repression and nightmares. Zach had to work with Cade. Denial only got in the way.

Christopher Farnsworth

#30. An apple a day keeps the doctor away.
No one's immune to bribery.

Joanne Harris

#31. We're gonna get weaker. That's already happened. They used to say, you know, an apple a day keeps the doctor away. Now they're saying eat five fruits. That's evidence. You can't argue with that.

Karl Pilkington