Flush Toilet Sayings

#1. Crap was not a bad word. It was the shortened name of the marketing genius of the best known flush toilet, John Crapper. Really.

Faith Hunter

#2. Since the invention of the flush toilet and the vacuum carpet cleaner, the modern man seems to judge a man's moral standards by his cleanliness, and thinks a dog the more highly civilized for having a weekly bath and a winter wrapper round his belly.

Lin Yutang

#3. The flush toilet, more than any single invention, has 'civilized' us in a way that religion and law could never accomplish.

Thomas Lynch

#4. The humble latrine, or flush toilet, reduces disease by twice as much as just putting in clean water.

Rose George

#5. My kingdom for a flush toilet.

Lisa Tawn Bergren

#6. Lasorda's standard reply when some new kid would ask directions to the whirlpool was to tell him to stick his foot in the toilet and flush it.

Steve Garvey

#7. It is better to have a relationship with someone who cheats on you than with someone who does not flush the toilet.

Uma Thurman

#8. Harry looked at Bellman. He could not help but admire him. The way you admire a cockroach you flush down the toilet and it comes creeping back again and again and in the end it inherits the world.

Jo Nesbo

#9. Social networks are so full of wasted time - they could be compared to a waste disposal system. Flush, before you go and waste no time to go.

Will Advise

#10. He did have to flush the toilet though, since I hadn't gotten to that yet. I had only peed, otherwise I might have been mortified. Best friend or not, shit was still shit.

Scarlett Dawn

#11. You can flush my ashes down the toilet, for all I care.

Carolyn Gold Heilbrun

#12. I'm the bathroom master
I'm a real bowl blaster
Don't mess with me
'Cause I can mess it up faster
With just one flush
I can make a toilet gush
When my sister cleans it up
I just turn her to mush!

R.U. Slime

#13. From the time they get up in the morning and flush the toilet, they're taxed. Then they go and get the cup of coffee, they're taxed ... This goes on all day long. Tax, tax, tax.

Arnold Schwarzenegger

#14. If it were thought that anything I wrote was influenced by Robert Frost, I would take that particular piece of mine,
shred it, and flush it down the toilet, hoping not to clog the pipes.

James Dickey

#15. If all you do is talk crap, I'll just flush the toilet.

Behdad Sami

#16. Go ahead then. Might as well wipe your ass with a doomed office romance before you flush your career down the toilet. You know it'll happen.

Claire Gillian

#17. Lean Pockets, I don't even wanna know what's in those. I wonder what the directions are on a box of Lean Pockets: 'Remove from box, place directly in toilet.' Flush Pocket!

Jim Gaffigan

#18. Right now I'm scoring goals and I'm the king of the world. And a couple weeks ago I was almost in the toilet. So maybe you just forget to flush me.

Alexander Ovechkin

#19. Most public bathrooms now have automatic toilet sensors. People can't even be trusted to flush.

Dov Davidoff

#20. Humankind made these religions; that our brains are capable of doing that is neither something to take too seriously - because we also make poop, and we learned to flush that the fuck down the toilet - but it's also not something to totally disregard.

Dan Harmon

#21. Drugs are your friends, treat them with respect. You wouldn't throw your friends in the garbage. You wouldn't flush your friends down the toilet. If that's the way you treat your friends or your drugs, you don't deserve to have either. Give them to me.

George Alec Effinger

#22. I'd finally in up in jail for a murder I really did commit. Amazing how fate can work against us sometimes. We like the think we're the center of the Solar System, everything revolving around. More likely, we're the center of the vortex when we flush the toilet.

Victor Gischler

#23. Like when the counselor delved into your habits of using a public toilet, such as do you flush with your foot and use your elbow to open the door? If yes, woe unto you. You're crazy.

Charles Frazier

#24. Cuz I look like Barbie." I reply, knowing they can connect the dots. "Bad girls don't like Barbie?" Michael asks, both his eyebrows rising. "No. Bad girls want to rip Barbie's head off and flush it down the toilet,

Amy A. Bartol

#25. Being a hermit involves a lot of what we would call routine tasks taken to an extreme, even the morning flush of the toilet becomes a ritual.

Steve Merrick

#26. When I flush the toilet in my bathroom, it becomes stopped up with Kleenex, and blood clouds the water and I put down the lid, because there's nothing else for me to do.

Bret Easton Ellis

#27. Replaying her words in my head, I could feel my face redden again.
I wanted to flush my head down the toilet.

Mark Peter Hughes

#28. My dad used to flush my mother's head down the toilet. I was so screwed up.

Jessica Hahn

#29. Most people die, living their life paycheck to paycheck,trying to stretch out each dollar, as like a roll of toilet paper. Toiling each tissue, never quite wiping away all the shit from their asses, where the world always takes what little they flush, back into its deprived system, always hungry.

Anthony Liccione

#30. I'm horrible to live with. I don't clean. My clothes end up wherever I take them off. I forget to flush the toilet.

Megan Fox

#31. Ah, the painful truth: Fate was a cosmic toilet. It was the nature of the universe to flush sluggish things that failed to exercise free will. Stasis was stagnancy. Change was velocity. Fate - a sniper that preferred a motionless target to a dancing one.

Karen Marie Moning

#32. I didn't go to high school. I think that after you learn to read and write and do your numbers and flush the toilet behind yourself, you don't need no more schoolin'. You need to get out in the water and swim.

Wilford Brimley

#33. It takes a minimum of six people, working in close harmony, to successfully flush a nautical toilet. That's why those old ships carried such large crews.

Dave Barry

#34. Las Vegas, the most expensive toilet in the world that still can't flush.

Brin-Jonathan Butler

#35. Fine, but if you get yourself killed I reserve the right to flush your ashes down the toilet while I sing the theme from Titanic.

Quinn Loftis

#36. This guy was making me tired. "Thanks for the afternoon's entertainment," I said. "I'll flush a copy of my bill down the toilet. You should be getting it in a couple of days.

John Swartzwelder