Dear Mom Sayings

#1. Dear Mom and Dad, Leave $50,000 in a bag under the bridge on Decatur Street. If there is no bridge on Decatur Street, please build one.

Woody Allen

#2. Dear Mom,
I won't be home this weekend because I'm wanted for treason and I have to clear my name. Also, I took the last Sprite from the fridge.
Love, Steve

Mac Barnett

#3. Dear Mom,
I'm as tight as a girdle. How do I accept love?
--B

Dear Potato Face,
Just say 'thank you,' then shut up.
--M

Betsy Robinson

#4. We heard recently the touching story of a young flier who was killed in action. Before he died, he had time to scrawl only a few words as a brief final message to his parents back home. The note read: "Dear Mom and Pop; I had time to say my prayers. Jack."

James Keller

#5. Mom put a note in my lunch again, I see ... Dear son, I hope you will study hard in summer school ... Do not look upon it as a punishment, but rather as a privilege ... We are very proud of you, and want you to have a good education. This note will self-destruct in five seconds.

Charles M. Schulz

#6. Boundbydad: and, so you meanwhile, no bid saturday night plans? more quality time with mom?
grayscale: you, my dear, are my saturday night plans.
boundbydad: i'm honored.

David Levithan

#7. It is a sad commentary of our times when our young must seek advice and counsel from 'Dear Abby' instead of going to Mom and Dad.

Pauline Phillips

#8. IVY: Mom believes women don't grow more attractive with age. KAREN: Oh, I disagree, I - VIOLET: I didn't say they "don't grow more attractive," I said they get ugly. And it's not really a matter of opinion, Karen dear. You've only just started to prove it yourself.

Tracy Letts

#9. Dear Alec & Magnus, It's Izzy. Got your card. Glad you're having fun. Nothing's happening here-Clary's mom is marrying some werewolf. I think you guys should get married too. I'm thinking about planing it. I love planing parties. -Isabelle

Cassandra Clare

#10. One day, while at the drugstore picking up some aspirin for my Mom, dear old Mrs. Burns, our pharmacist, shoved a pack of condoms into my hand with a conspiratorial wink.
"They glow in the dark," she whispered.
This, from a sixty-five year-old granny, I kid you not. Stuff of nightmares.

Ramona Wray

#11. Waiters are the help, dear. It's like falling in love with a blender!

Daniel Nayeri

#12. I never worked in a coffee shop and I don't drink coffee, so I never thought I would become a coffee pusher on TV.

Scott Patterson

#13. There are also places of power that reference the fourth and fifth chakras, which are places of balance, and places of power that reference the sixth and seventh chakras, which are places of wisdom.

Frederick Lenz

#14. Janie calls Cabel.
"Hi, uh, Mom," she says.
Cabel snorts. "Hello, dear. Did you make it through the blizzard?"
"Yeah. Barely." Janie grins into the phone.

Lisa McMann

#15. Why aren't you more grateful when I prove how wrong you've been?

Ashleigh Brilliant

#16. In 2011, mobile data traffic in the United States was eight times the size of the entire global Internet in 2000. That's traffic.

Marvin Ammori

#17. This heart, my own dear mother, bends,
With love's true instinct, back to thee!

Thomas Moore

#18. If you sent me to cover a pie-baking contest on Mother's Day, I'm going to ask dear old Mom why she used artificial sweetener or stole the apples!

Sam Donaldson

#19. What is it with you and girls, Adrian, dear? Why do they either mean nothing to you or everything? It's always an extreme."
"Because I don't do things in halves, mom. Especially when it comes to love.

Richelle Mead

#20. What on earth can you do on this earth but catch at whatever comes near you, with both your fingers, until your fingers are broken?

Tennessee Williams

#21. Where else do you find great directors? Acting is one of the places.

Liev Schreiber

#22. When you're riding with your mom, and you're a kid, you'd listen to 'Dear Mama' and the radio friendly records. I used to sneak and listen to Too $hort.

Nayvadius Cash

#23. Dear Homeschool Mom, You've got this! God called you to it, and He will see you through it. Inhale Grace. Exhale Doubt.

Tamara L. Chilver