Constipated Quotes

#1. So who's perfect? ... Washington had false teeth. Franklin was nearsighted. Mussolini had syphilis. Unpleasant things have been said about Walt Whitman and Oscar Wilde. Tchaikovsky had his problems, too. And Lincoln was constipated.

John O'Hara

#2. Cactus face over there doesn't look happy," Audrey whispered and we both giggled. "Maize calls that resting bitch face," I said and immediately felt bad for repeating it. "Let's not be mean. Maybe she's just constipated.

Giselle Fox

#3. Dreams are the psyche's way of taking a good dump every now and then. And that people who dream - or don't dream in a way they can often remember when they wake up - are mentally constipated in some way.

Stephen King

#4. All Englishmen talk as if they've got a bushel of plums stuck in their throats, and then after swallowing them get constipated from the pips.

W.C. Fields

#5. I could not conceive that [fans] actually wanted me to sign something. It took a long time for me to figure out (a) just say 'Thank you' and sign the thing, and (b) smile in the picture, because if you try to just half-smile you're going to look constipated.

Joss Whedon

#6. Child, if such folks awe you, then picture them on the lavatory, straining, constipated. They will at once seem small, pathetic, manageable." And she whispered to me a great, universal truth: "THE BOWELS ARE GREAT LEVELLERS.

Angela Carter

#7. You know, just sit in the corner and glare at him the whole time. See if he crumbles."
"I've seen your hard-ass face, Tuck," Charlie said. "Mostly, you just look constipated. Ford, you'd better do the glaring.

Julie James

#8. Alan Grant: "There are ... far too many words written. Millions and millions of them pouring from the presses every minute. It's a horrible thought."
The Midget (his nurse): "You sound constipated.

Josephine Tey

#9. A negative look from someone else may mean nothing more than they're constipated!

Daniel Amen

#10. TV feels quite constipated, and the thing I find particularly difficult is the branding of the channels where it's not 'Is it a good script?' but 'Is it a BBC2 script?'

Sally Phillips

#11. We, too, consider machine gun bullets good laxatives for heathens who get constipated with toxic ideas about a country of their own. If the patient dies from the treatment, it was not because the medicine was not good.

Zora Neale Hurston

#12. No one has yet been born in this world that has the independent control to defecate at will. One will realize this when he becomes constipated!

Dada Bhagwan

#13. If you did not have any personality, you would have a tremendous presence. The more rigid your personality, the more constipated your whole being.

Jaggi Vasudev

#14. Acceptable food rots while we are chased from bins behind restaurants, chased from sleeping on the street, chased from relieving ourselves unless we pay for food or gas, until finally we are so hungry, sleepless, smelly, constipated and beaten-down that we simply die of lack of will to live.

Jane Siberry

#15. I wish that being famous helped prevent me from being constipated.

Marvin Gaye

#16. You could give us a hand instead of staring into space like a constipated camel, Terry Tarsal rudley broke into Marcia's spinning thoughts.

Angie Sage

#17. Dog's constipated," said Bert the Shirt.

"Who isn't?" said the Godfather.

Laurence Shames

#18. The whole area of creativity is constipated and frightened.

George Lois

#19. You're a little tall to play Ariel." said Moth.
"And you have way too many muscles," said Mustardseed.
"But you might be able to pull it off," Cobweb said, "if you can look really constipated.

Lisa Mantchev

#20. The crowd had the plump, righteous, slightly constipated look that seems the exclusive province of businessmen who belong to the GOP.

Stephen King

#21. LSD burst over the dreary domain of the constipated bourgeoisie like the angelic herald of a new psychedelic millennium. We have never been the same since, nor will we ever be, for LSD demonstrated, even to skeptics, that the mansions of heaven and gardens of paradise lie within each and all of us.

Terence McKenna

#22. I've posed nude for a photographer in the manner of Rodin's Thinker, but I merely looked constipated.

George Bernard Shaw

#23. The ship groaned and growled beneath him like a constipated fat man straining to shit.

George R R Martin

#24. And, lastly, there's a small pack of wide-eyed innocents in awe of my Beacon-ness who follow me around expecting me to perform a miracle any minute. Sometimes I screw up my face like I'm trying. Or constipated.

Eliza Crewe

#25. Well, MacKenzie, YOU'RE the expert on toilets! It's only 8:00 a.m. and your BRAIN is completely CONSTIPATED while your MOUTH has a severe case of DIARRHEA! Please, go FLUSH!

Rachel Renee Russell

#26. Oh, hell, I can't go on a spiritual journey - I'm constipated.

Molly Ivins

#27. I'm assuming the widened eyes and squished up mouth are your way of entreating me to take you to the train station and help you question the humans. Either that or you're constipated." "I'm not constipated." I resumed The Look.

Debra Dunbar

#28. After all, the English are really too much. One can't live in that constipated fashion forever.

Paul Bowles

#29. traffic was as mean as a constipated lion

J.D. Robb

#30. Of course I would fall for Captain Emotionally Constipated. I could train a rock to hold more affection for me.

K.M. Shea

#31. People think in narrow, constrained, constipated ways about the world. They can't imagine that the world could be different. Not like the dreamers who actually see a different world, a better world.

Peter Kuznick

#32. The Book Highlights and Attacks areas of Inefficiency and Hypocrisy in Government Offices. It injects the much-need Enema into its Highly Constipated System.

Mahesh Ubhayakar

#33. The great incestuous wish is to flow on, one with time, to merge the great image of the beyond with the here and now. A fatuous, suicidal wish that is constipated by words and paralyzed by thought.

Henry Miller

#34. I used to try and concentrate the poem so much that there wasn't a word that wasn't essential. This leads to becoming boring and constipated.

W. H. Auden

#35. Craw didn't just grunt - he made sounds like barnyard animals going to bed at night. The more frustrated and/or inarticulate he felt, the bigger the animal. This particular grunt sounded like a constipated cow.

Amy Lane

#36. America is a constipated nation ... If you pass small stools, you have to have large hospitals.

Denis Parsons Burkitt

#37. Oh, for fuck's sake. The Chevy Matiz - whose idea was it? Four doors, shaped like a shoe, and all the reliability of his grandmother's digestive tract. Whether she'd been constipated or had the runs, it was always ugly, and her mood had been to match.

Amy Lane

#38. They have dog food for constipated dogs. If your dog is constipated, why screw up a good thing? Stay indoors and let 'em bloat!

David Letterman

#39. Oh, I bet you'd find that marvelous; all of us helpless women just smiling and nodding. Though I'm afraid it would never work on me." "Of course not," he deadpans. "I'm stuck next to the one afflicted with an apparently incurable case of verbal diarrhea." "Says the man who is socially constipated.

Kristen Callihan

#40. And he was damned nice to look at, even when he scowled. In fact, if I were totally honest, that scowl only added to the allure that was Reyes Farrow. Damn it. When I scowled, I looked constipated. Leave it to the son of Satan to turn a scowl into the stuff of fantasies.

Darynda Jones

#41. A golf ball is white, dimpled like a bishop's knees, and is the size of small mandarin oranges or those huge pills which vets blow down the throats of constipated cart-horses.

Frank Muir

#42. Like so many great American fortunes, the Rosewater pile was accumulated in the beginning by a humorless, constipated Christian farm boy turned speculator and briber during and after the Civil War.

Kurt Vonnegut

#43. There are far too many people born into the world, and far too many words written. Millions and millions of them pouring from the presses every minute. It's a horrible thought." "You sound constipated," said The Midget.

Josephine Tey

#44. Oh my God!" I hear him yell to just about everybody. "Did you see that?! That was John Waters. I'm almost certain he has shit his pants!!" I hear grown men laugh in constipated smugness and digestive superiority.

John Waters