Colon Quotes

#1. A friend told me to listen to my heart. Another friend told me to listen to my gut. Maybe I need an autopsy, because right now my colon is kind of iffy.

Paul Reiser

#2. The stops point out, with truth, the time of pause
A sentence doth require at ev'ry clause.
t ev'ry comma, stop while one you count;
At semicolon, two is the amount;
A colon doth require the time of three;
The period four, as learned men agree.

Cecil B. Hartley

#3. I know I have a problem with semi-colon abuse and have written page-long sentences. Nobody needs to be reading page-long sentences, at least not written by me.

Jami Attenberg

#4. I suppose some rich private collector has it now," Sir Reynold moaned. "But how could he keep it a secret? The mural is one of the most recognizable paintings in the hworld! Every civilized person hwould spot it in an instant!" "What did it look like?" said Fred Colon.

Terry Pratchett

#5. In 2002, my daughter was diagnosed with a rare form of colon cancer. And it was such a shock, a surprise to us.

Iyanla Vanzant

#6. Was that semi-colon some kind of flirty wink or just bad punctuation?

Azadeh Aalai

#7. The last thing I ever wanted was to be alive when the three most powerful people on the whole planet would be named Bush, Dick and Colon.

Kurt Vonnegut

#8. There are but a few blood purifiers and these are all in the body. We know them as the liver, kidneys, lungs, colon, and a few glands.

Herbert M. Shelton

#9. "Yeah, well, if you eat red meat, it stays in your colon for fifteen years!" Good! I paid for it; I want it in my ass, okay? I want them to find a meat sweater from my esophagus to my asshole when they open me up in the end! "This guy's covered in meat! He's Meat-Man! He's Meat-Tracheotomy-Man!"

Denis Leary

#10. Dear, the man can't be eviscerated because he has no viscera. He's a walking colon. If you cut him open, you only end up covered in crap.

Dean Koontz

#11. Sergeant Colon was lost in admiration. He'd seen people bluff on a bad hand, but he'd never seen anyone bluff with no cards.

Terry Pratchett

#12. It's bad enough barging into Guild property, but we'll get into really serious trouble if we shoot anyone. Lord Vetinari won't stop at sarcasm. He might use' - Colon swallowed - 'irony.

Terry Pratchett

#13. Legitimate First watched them go as they walked away. Sergeant Colon felt he was being measured up.
"I've always wondered about his name," said Nobby, turning and waving. "I mean ... Legitimate?"
"Can't blame a mother for being proud, Nobby," said Colon.

Terry Pratchett

#14. Then to Misty's Spice Boutique for food so bland and inambitious I doubt it'll ever aspire to become shit. It'll probably just sit in my colon yawning

M. Suddain

#15. You don't know what a semi-colon does ... sort of like my act.

Rob Cantrell

#16. I would die at the stake rather than change a semi-colon!

Edmond Rostand

#17. Thanks a lot, you dirty rats. The last thing I ever wanted was to be alive when the three most powerful people on the whole planet would be named Bush, Dick, & Colon.

Kurt Vonnegut

#18. I never apologized for anything in my life. The only thing I'm sorry about is putting a curse on Roger Ebert's colon. If a fat pig like Roger Ebert doesn't like my movie, then I'm sorry for him.

Vincent Gallo

#19. If I keep grinning maybe my inoperable colon cancer won't hurt so much.

Tony Millionaire

#20. Specifically, they'd used genetic material from colon cancer, one of the more robust strains, and the results had been striking. The

Tom Clancy

#21. (did anyone ever use a semi-colon in a suicide note?).

David Lodge

#22. Shaking his head at the way of the world, Fred Colon walked right up to the wall so cruelly - or cruelleah - denuded of its covering.

Terry Pratchett

#23. I'd never heard of colon cancer. Baseball wasn't even important to me. I have a wife and two girls. That's what was important. The doctors told me and all I could say was, 'When are we going to get this thing out?'

Eric Davis

#24. My karma's the comma that puts you inside of a coma,
Hyphen, dot, dot, semi-colon, leave you semi-swollen.
Question mark, you pregnant?
Oh you're not? I love you, period.

Chino XL

#25. Bottom line? The fabric of the race's society is going to unravel, and if you think that's going to help in the war, you've got your head so far up your ass you're using your colon as a mouthpiece.

J.R. Ward

#26. I'm in love with a boy with a troubled colon.

Robert Gipe

#27. Fiber has a beneficial effect in preventing colon cancer.

David Jenkins

#28. You can't turn something into something else," said Corporal Nobbs. "The Alchemists have been trying it for years." "They a can gen'rally turn a house into a hole in the ground," said Sergeant Colon.

Terry Pratchett

#29. The state of the health of the individual is equivalent to the state to the health of the colon.

Woody Harrelson

#30. A dash is a mark of separation stronger than a comma, less formal than a colon, and more relaxed than parentheses.

William Strunk Jr.

#31. African-American women who develop breast cancer are more likely to die from the disease than White women of the same age. Survival rates are worse among African-Americans for colon, prostate and ovarian cancers as well.

Frank C. Garland

#32. Since I came to the White House, I've gotten two hearing aids, had a colon operation, a prostate operation, skin cancer, and I've been shot ... damn thing is, I've never felt better.

Ronald Reagan

#33. Nobody can quantify for you what's the impact of eating fiber every day, for instance. We can say we think it's good. But some people might say 'Oh, it reduces your risk of colon cancer by 20%, some people might say it reduces your risk by 25%.'

Anne Wojcicki

#34. Among frail, elderly patients, C. diff can be fatal in approximately 5-10%. Some patients with severe C. diff end up losing their colon and have a permanent bag on their side to catch bodily waste, via a procedure known as an ileostomy.

J. Thomas LaMont

#35. I know people are pretty well embarrassed just at the mention of colon cancer. Sticking a tube in you to find out what's wrong is not a nice thing. But I can tell them, a 30- or 40-minute test is worth it. We have to make them feel more comfortable about getting screened.

Eric Davis

#36. We can reduce these cancer rates - breast cancer, prostate cancer, colon cancer - by 90 percent or more by people adopting what I call a nutritrarian diet.

Joel Fuhrman

#37. Add up the bastard!" shouted Nobby enthusiastically. "Total, Nobby," said Colon. "You mean 'total.

Terry Pratchett

#38. Every organ, gland and cell in the body is affected by the condition of the colon.

Norman W. Walker

#39. I have had Crohn's for about 19 years. It is a debilitating disease that affects my colon.

Mike McCready

#40. Sergeant Colon of the Ankh-Morpork City Guard was on duty. He was guarding the Brass Bridge, the main link between Ankh and Morpork. From theft.
When it came to crime prevention, Sergeant Colon found it safest to think big.

Terry Pratchett

#41. When I had cancer - of the colon first, followed by breast cancer and a mastectomy - my motto used to be 'Drips by day, Prada by night.' I felt that I had to grasp it in the same way as you'd take on any challenge.

Sam Taylor-Wood

#42. Colon has always thought that heroes had some special kind of clockwork that made them go out and die famously for god, country and apple pie, or whatever particular delicacy their mother made. It had never occurred to him that they might do it because they'd get yelled at if they didn't.

Terry Pratchett

#43. There is no pleasure so acute as that of a well-placed semi-colon. (the author is actually quoting a friend here)

Mary Norris

#44. Low fiber, red meat rich diets increase the risks of colon cancer, and obesity is linked to breast cancer, but much more about these links remain unknown, especially in molecular terms.

Siddhartha Mukherjee

#45. Next to the semi-colon, quotation marks seem to be the chief butts of reformatory ardor.

H.L. Mencken

#46. Nude women are only Art if there's an urn in it," said Fred Colon. This sounded a bit weak even to him, so he added: "Or a plinth. Both is best, o'course. It's a secret sign, see, that they put in to say that it's Art and okay to look at.

Terry Pratchett

#47. Sergeant Colon owed thirty years of happy marriage to the fact that Mrs. Colon worked all day and Sargent Colon worked all night. They communicated by means of notes. They had three grown-up children, all born, Vimes had assumed, as a result of extremely persuasive handwriting.

Terry Pratchett

#48. The damage that the human body can survive these days is as awesome as it is horrible: crushing, burning, bombing, a burst blood vessel in the brain, a ruptured colon, a massive heart attack, rampaging infection. These conditions had once been uniformly fatal.

Atul Gawande

#49. Colon thought Carrot was simple. Carrot often struck people as simple. And he was.
Where people went wrong was thinking that simple meant the same thing as stupid.

Terry Pratchett

#50. Far too much reorganization goes on all the time. Organizitis is like a spastic colon.

Peter Drucker

#51. It's also obsessiveness. I'll spend a lot of time working on a single sentence, debating over a dash or a colon, etc. I want things to be perfect. I know nothing will ever be as perfect as I want it, and this is very sad, but sometimes I can get close.

Mary J. Miller

#52. I go because I sit in judgment on every poor, ulcerous bastard I know. Which in itself doesn't bother me too much. At least, I judge straight from the colon when I judge, and I know that I'll pay like hell for any judgment I mete out, sooner or later, one way or another.

J.D. Salinger

#53. With one linear centimeter of your lower colon there lives and works more bacteria (about 100 billion) that all humans who have ever been born. Yet many people continue to assert that it is we who are in charge of the world

Neil DeGrasse Tyson

#54. We are armed with the truth. What can harm us if we are armed with the truth?' 'Well, a crossbow bolt can, e.g., go right through your eye and out the back of your head,' said Sergeant Colon.

Terry Pratchett

#55. a favourite master, Mr. Grove, liked to say that if we learned to master the semi-colon we could expect to be successful in whatever path we chose in life. One

Whit Stillman

#56. Pride should be reserved for something you achieve or obtain on your own, not something that happens by accident of birth. Being Irish isn't a skill ... it's a fucking genetic accident. You wouldn't say I'm proud to be 5'11; I'm proud to have a pre-disposition for colon cancer.

George Carlin

#57. If one has a routine colonoscopy at the age of 50 and then colonoscopies thereafter as the physician recommends, you could largely prevent colon cancer, you could detect it in its very earliest stages and cure it.

Laurie Glimcher

#58. Since I came to the White House, I got two hearing aids, a colon operation, skin cancer, a prostate operation, and I was shot. The damn thing is, I've never felt better in my life.

Ronald Reagan

#59. Doctors said that the test most commonly used to screen for colon cancer doesn't go far enough. They're recommending a procedure that involves photographing the entire colon. I say, don't vie CBS an idea for another reality show.

Bill Maher

#60. To be mulcted of our money and mutilated of our property is serious enough: to be deprived of our colon would be intolerable.

Eric Partridge

#61. But all this business about kings and lords, it's against basic human dignity. We're all born equal. It makes me sick.'
'Never heard you talk like this before, Frederick,' said Nobby.
'It's Sergeant Colon to you, Nobby.

Terry Pratchett

#62. Ninety per-cent of what we worry about never happens, yet we worry and worry. What a horrible way to go through life! What a horrible thing to do to your colon!

Leo Buscaglia

#63. There ye go again," my archdruid said. "Using your colon instead of yer brain. Ye believe yer thinkin' because yer workin' hard, but all yer doin' is squeezin' out shit.

Kevin Hearne

#64. Take care of your colon and your colon will take care of you.

Travis Barker

#65. I'm no more than a comma in life. I who am a colon. Thou, thou art my exclamation.

Clarice Lispector

#66. People just don't know that you can have colon cancer and be completely asymptomatic and healthy.

Julie Gerberding

#67. Screening for colon cancer can stop cancer in its tracks.

Hill Harper

#68. Coffee is already known to be a preventive factor against mild depression, Parkinson's disease, and colon and rectal cancers.

Chris Kilham

#69. The Lady takes most mortals unto her bosom by maladies of the colon."
"Death by constipation?

Steven Erikson

#70. Would you care to share our lunch, old ... good wo ... miss?" he said. "It's only salt pork, I'm afraid." "Meat is extremely bad for the digestive system," said Magrat. "If you could see inside your colon you'd be horrified." "I think I would," muttered Hwel.

Terry Pratchett

#71. Me: Yes, I'd like some colon cleanse. It's something that cleans you out so your antidepressants work better.
Pharmacist: I think you're using your antidepressants wrong. They go in your mouth.

Jenny Lawson

#72. Everybody has a colon. Everyone over 50 needs to get their colon checked.

Julie Gerberding

#73. For example, colon cancer is the second leading cause of cancer death in the United States. Every four minutes someone is diagnosed, and every nine minutes someone dies.

Kevin Richardson

#74. Preventative medicine has to be the direction we go in. For example, if colon cancer is detected early - because a person knew he had a genetic risk and was having frequent exams - the surgery is relatively inexpensive and average survival is far greater than 10 years.

Craig Venter

#75. One of the lowest points in my life was when I was diagnosed and combated with severe ulcerative colitis which is severe ulcers in you colon that bleed.

John Assaraf

#76. Ah, that's where you score, Nobby," said Colon. "Uniforms is OK. Adds a bit of tone, in fact. Especially if you look dashing," he said, ignoring the evidence that Nobby was, in fact, merely runny.

Terry Pratchett

#77. When your body absorbs toxins, it stores them in fat, which is why fiber and probiotics are strategic weapons for weight loss. Fiber keeps your colon healthy and reduces your body's absorption of toxins.

Suzanne Somers

#78. Colon looked awkward, as if the bunched underwear of the past was tangling itself in the crotch of recollection.

Terry Pratchett

#79. Once colon cancer becomes symptomatic, nine times out of ten it is too late.

Kevin Richardson

#80. The semi-colon is a burp, a hiccup. It's a drunk staggering out of the saloon at 2 a.m., grabbing your lapels on the way and asking you to listen to one more story.

James Scott Bell

#81. I knew she wouldn't remember me," Della said as she and Jordan once again sat at the table. "She had her head so far up her ass in high school, the only thing she could recognize was her own colon.

Carla Cassidy

#82. Let me tell you something, my wife died for Tuesdays ago. Cancer of the colon. We were married forty-one years. Now you stop feeling sorry for yourself and lose some of that pork of yours. Pretty girl like you - you don't want to do this yourself.

Wally Lamb

#83. I never thought of doing anything but comics, except maybe being a pilot.

Ernie Colon

#84. I did with my wife a comic book for the Raynham Hall Museum in Long Island. They sell the book every single time a busload of kids comes in.

Ernie Colon

#85. Harvey Publications hired me as a letterer, and they found out six seconds after I got the job that I couldn't letter. I still can't letter. So, they hired me to draw.

Ernie Colon

#86. Leadership is knowing what you want and making it happen.

Miriam Colon

#87. People are not meant to be alone, as the word itself is made of two syllables.

Kimberlee Colon

#88. I thought about TimeBlaze. We should ... shorten the titles. The titles are getting long. More colons than a proctologist.

D.C. Pierson

#89. Life keep passing you by as you grow old But what you been trought stays no matter how much you grow with the years that what make you who you are

D.L. Colon

#90. Centers of influence are wholistic ministry centers, which connect church members with their communities and "place [them] where they will come in direct contact with those needing help."4

May Ellen Colon

#91. You deserve what you tollerate.

Ramon Colon-Lopez

#92. This explains why I've been making Recession Tea- letting a teabag steep for half the time it should so I can use it again for a second cup later.

Suzan Colon