Top 100 Chris D'elia Quotes

#1. There always had to be a survivor. Maybe this simply spoke to the optimism of the men writing those screenplays; even with an uncomfortable sci fi plot they had to subconsciously comfort themselves by thinking that at least a hundred people would survive.
Someone has to survive

Chris Dietzel

Chris D'elia Quotes #4436
#2. Probably the most fun I've ever had, actually, acting. Because it was the perfect extension of the stuff that I'd started to do on Late Night With David Letterman, and when I look back on all my work, it was probably the best possible incarnation of Chris Elliott, of me.

Chris Elliott

Chris D'elia Quotes #10668
#3. Let's embrace more of life, not less. Balanced people don't change the world, and I'd rather spend my time feeling worn out from meaningful activities and projects.

Chris Guillebeau

Chris D'elia Quotes #13345
#4. I'd never really found a place in the outside world, but had stayed away too long to fit in at home.

Chris Offutt

Chris D'elia Quotes #21361
#5. D-Wade is the unselfish guy here-he is welcoming Chris Bosh and LeBron James to his team.

LeBron James

Chris D'elia Quotes #28679
#6. I couldn't do country, with all due respect to all country music artists. My parents dressed me up with a cowboy hat and we'd go to the rodeo when I was younger and it traumatized me for life.

Chris Colfer

Chris D'elia Quotes #38955
#7. I used to hang out with grandfather all the time because he used to pick me up from school sometimes, or drive me to my mother's, so I'd be with my grandfather a lot. I used to watch him write his sermons.

Chris Rock

Chris D'elia Quotes #41420
#8. He'd made a name for himself out there in the world beyond not just in spite of the distinctly unfashionable persona he presented, but, perhaps, BECAUSE of it.

Chris Matthews

Chris D'elia Quotes #41799
#9. My mom and dad got divorced, so it was one of those things where Sundays I'd go to Dad's apartment, and this was, say, 1970-whatever, and it had a pool table on the top floor in a very traditional kind of divorced-dad apartment building.

Chris Eigeman

Chris D'elia Quotes #58936
#10. I am never really surprised at the way my books take shape. They are just not as perfect as I'd like them to be.

Chris Van Allsburg

Chris D'elia Quotes #61772
#11. I never dreamed I'd be a spokesman for anything. But Pac Bell just asked me. The money was OK; the scripts were fun because I had to do in 30 seconds what it takes a whole feature to do and because the dysfunctional family of agents, managers and lawyers who represent me said it was cool.

Chris Eigeman

Chris D'elia Quotes #62729
#12. When I was in grade school I was into chess club, Latin club, D&D, computer camp - everything that made vaginas go away.

Chris Hardwick

Chris D'elia Quotes #64235
#13. You know, I preferred you as an evil monk. Would have made killing you a whole lot easier.

Chris D'Lacey

Chris D'elia Quotes #65986
#14. Thank you for your enthusiasm. Earlier today I told another student I was getting new encyclopedias - he asked me how long I'd be in the hospital!

Chris Colfer

Chris D'elia Quotes #70377
#15. We've never been to Israel. I'd like to play in Israel.

Chris Squire

Chris D'elia Quotes #76141
#16. I'd like my super power to be puns; I'd like to be great at puns: pun power. Then I could go on loads of panel shows and live off that forever.

Chris O'Dowd

Chris D'elia Quotes #83964
#17. If your wife went out with Brad Pitt, you'd want to prove yourself, you know what I mean?

Chris Martin

Chris D'elia Quotes #86783
#18. Everybody goes and sees 'Fantastic Four,' but nobody sees 'Sunshine.' I'd have a different career if people saw that.

Chris Evans

Chris D'elia Quotes #103880
#19. Of course, it took a while to learn all this. Anytime I messed up, my boss would let me know. Right away he'd cuss me out, tell me I was a worthless piece of shit. But I never got pissed at David. In my mind, I thought, I'm better than that and I'll show you. As it happens, that's exactly the

Chris Kyle

Chris D'elia Quotes #116973
#20. The pilot himself was a good guy. He didn't act stuck up or high and mighty; you'd never know he was an officer.

Chris Kyle

Chris D'elia Quotes #119261
#21. I was in the Pritikin Center in Santa Monica once, trying to lose 30 or 40 pounds in a month. I'd work ... on a treadmill and with the weights, but it was driving me nuts. So I escaped. Tom Arnold picked me up and we went to Le Dome and had tons of desserts.

Chris Farley

Chris D'elia Quotes #121838
#22. When I was in school, I was always writing scripts and dressing up as characters. I'd constantly be that guy who'd get up on stage. I used to write imaginary TV shows, like soap operas, for fun.

Chris Lilley

Chris D'elia Quotes #139839
#23. When I was a kid, before there were VCRt, my parents had a movie projector, and we'd watch Frankenstein and Dracula. I just always though that stuff was cool - creepy comics and monsters and horrific stuff. Music lends itself to that whole theme.

Chris Reifert

Chris D'elia Quotes #148675
#24. We'd have made more, but I kept forgetting to write songs down.

Chris Lowe

Chris D'elia Quotes #148750
#25. Learn a little patience. You never know what might be around the corner.

Chris D'Lacey

Chris D'elia Quotes #152424
#26. I can get a great look at a t-bone steak by shoving my head up a bull's ass but I'd rather take the butchers word for it.

Chris Farley

Chris D'elia Quotes #159101
#27. 'Didn't realize Matty was so scary,' Chris said.
'She's maybe five two and can't make it up a flight of stairs without huffing and puffing. But if I really pissed her off, she might poison my coffee.'
'Sounds like someone I'd like to meet.'

Kim Fielding

Chris D'elia Quotes #160309
#28. No perfume. Because I want to know how you smell - right off the bat. Don't mask it up. I need to know how you smell because I need to know how we connect. A smell is a big thing. Pheromones. Don't cover that.

Chris D'Elia

Chris D'elia Quotes #162560
#29. Saddam had buried a bunch of his fighters in the desert. He had them covered with plastic and then tried to hide them. Probably he figured we'd come through like we did in Desert Storm, hit quick and then leave. He was wrong about that.

Chris Kyle

Chris D'elia Quotes #175306
#30. You ask me, I'd guess heaven and hell look pretty much the same," I replied. "Only in hell, everything is just a little out of reach.

Chris Holm

Chris D'elia Quotes #184891
#31. I've been asked to do surfing movies over the years and offered several opportunities. I just felt that if I were to do one, I'd have to do the perfect surfing movie. And I don't know if that exists because surfing is such a personal thing.

Chris Carter

Chris D'elia Quotes #185867
#32. I'd call my work 'instinctual design.' I like to find the spirit of a piece that defies time, age, and occasion. My clothes give the wearer the chance to develop their own voice within a wardrobe, and I think of them as curators of their personal style.

Chris Benz

Chris D'elia Quotes #197839
#33. Women, tend to talk more than men, and they do this thing where they say things that can easily be shown. Like, they don't need to do that.

Chris D'Elia

Chris D'elia Quotes #218369
#34. As far as I'm concerned: Chris Pratt for president! He'd save us.

Bryce Dallas Howard

Chris D'elia Quotes #223601
#35. For when I
waltzed with Chris, I'd made him someone else.

V.C. Andrews

Chris D'elia Quotes #237441
#36. I never thought I'd refer to myself as a hot mess.

Chris O'Dowd

Chris D'elia Quotes #243518
#37. I'm under strict instructions to write a happy ending. Rule number ninety-seven: You're not allowed to make a dragon cry."
"Right," Said Sophie, starting the engine. "Tears might quench their fire.

Chris D'Lacey

Chris D'elia Quotes #245577
#38. I'd like to think I'm a normal sort of guy, but go to my mum and she'll probably say, 'You know, Chris was always the daughter out of my three boys.'

Chris Hemsworth

Chris D'elia Quotes #245825
#39. I'd like to be in a Spike Jonze movie. But I live in a Nancy Meyers movie.

Chris Rock

Chris D'elia Quotes #256528
#40. Apology accepted. If you're finished Mrs. Porter ---"
"Allegra."
"Fine. If you're finished, Allegra, I'd like to go."
"I'm not."
Good Lord, but the woman was a blister that refused to pop.

Chris Karlsen

Chris D'elia Quotes #263306
#41. I never thought I'd be on the cover of the 'Atlanta Journal' unless I killed someone.

Chris Robinson

Chris D'elia Quotes #264443
#42. The difference being that a nerd would wear a D&D shirt because he loves D&D while a hipster would wear a D&D shirt because it's ridiculous that he is wearing a D&D shirt.

Chris Hardwick

Chris D'elia Quotes #275447
#43. I thought, 'Wow, if we could have a career that was five or six years long, that would be fantastic.' And, of course, never even thinking it would still be something I'd be doing in 45 years.

Chris Squire

Chris D'elia Quotes #289830
#44. With his blond hair, broad shoulders, and perpetual tan,
Bryce looked like a California underwear model. Not that I'd thought about him in his underwear.
Much.

Chris Cannon

Chris D'elia Quotes #291786
#45. I'd always had a childhood ambition to go into the investment capital business, and spent twenty-odd years in it. But the thought of spending the second half of my career in the same business was boring, so I looked around for other opportunities .

Chris Corrigan

Chris D'elia Quotes #293101
#46. The opportunity to work with women who are at the top of my list of people I'd want to work with and who are my favorite women to watch on screen, was fantastic.

Chris Hemsworth

Chris D'elia Quotes #306276
#47. I hate niggas! I hate em! I wish they'd let me join the Ku Klux Klan!

Chris Rock

Chris D'elia Quotes #309364
#48. My dad talks about the times when we'd play backyard cricket: If I got bowled out, I'd just refuse to let go of the bat and swing it at anyone who tried to take it away from me. I like to think that's been tempered a bit over the years.

Chris Hemsworth

Chris D'elia Quotes #325577
#49. When you die at 72, no matter what you die of, it's natural causes. Even if you get hit by a truck, it's natural causes. 'Cause if you was younger, you'd have got out the way!

Chris Rock

Chris D'elia Quotes #341648
#50. No matter what, the very first piece of Social Media Real Estate I'd start with is a blog.

Chris Brogan

Chris D'elia Quotes #347621
#51. If there is anything I've learned being the mother of many children, it's that you'd better laugh at yourself, because everyone else already is.

Chris Jordan

Chris D'elia Quotes #352991
#52. What do you think the appropriate role of government is in society? The way I look at this job is, you want me to do X? Well, is the private sector doing X with any kind of success? Because if they are, I'd rather have them do it than have us do it.

Chris Christie

Chris D'elia Quotes #361749
#53. I like 'The Usual Suspects'. Great film. I also like 'Scarface', films like that. Lots of gangster films. I really like watching all kinds of films, dramas, romance. I'll watch comedies. I like Al Pacino, Robert De Niro, Denzel Washington, Chris Rock, Dave Chappelle. I'd like to meet them.

Barkhad Abdi

Chris D'elia Quotes #365667
#54. If Bill Gates woke up with Oprah's money he'd jump out the window.

Chris Rock

Chris D'elia Quotes #374158
#55. What you take from the earth, you must give back. That's nature's way.

Chris D'Lacey

Chris D'elia Quotes #392705
#56. I'd love to see the Iron Jackal's face when he finds out I'm already dead," he said with half a grin. "Now that's irony." "No it ain't, Cap'n. It's just some shit that happened.

Chris Wooding

Chris D'elia Quotes #402957
#57. If I were to be any celebrity, I'd be Chris Martin. I've always wondered what it would be like to be jealous of Thom Yorke.

Thom Yorke

Chris D'elia Quotes #416835
#58. My lord, I'd rather be alone."
His smile vanished. Not a single muscle in his body bulged, but the color of his eyes turned to dark ashes.
"And I'd rather not.

Chris Lange

Chris D'elia Quotes #424591
#59. We did do the whole of the live suite from 'Fly From Here,' and that was very enjoyable to do. In fact, that is actually our longest piece of music, I think, that we'd ever done.

Chris Squire

Chris D'elia Quotes #426038
#60. I'd love to have a child. Either one or 40. I love kids.

Chris Kattan

Chris D'elia Quotes #427471
#61. I'd rather be a comma than a full stop.

Chris Martin

Chris D'elia Quotes #427880
#62. I'd like to credit my speed to my grandfather. But he was also a quiet player. He didn't talk much. He just went out there on the field and did his own thing.

Chris Davis

Chris D'elia Quotes #436217
#63. During my Austin years, I was drawing a regular strip for the University Of Texas newspaper, going to school, delivering blood, and trying to change my approach and 'style' as much as I could, since I knew that I'd calcify as I got older.

Chris Ware

Chris D'elia Quotes #437996
#64. If I'm going to go out to be a solo artist, it's because I want to do something different without having to wait on someone else's schedule or hobbies or be limited by other people's prejudices. I'd be kind of stupid not to exercise that.

Chris Cornell

Chris D'elia Quotes #455491
#65. Daddy pays for the water, daddy pays for the gas, daddy pays for the electricity, and if daddy didn't pay for the electricity, he'd pay for the candle on your nightstand, so you can study for the big test tomorrow.

Chris Rock

Chris D'elia Quotes #465919
#66. You alright?' Frey asked him. Crake gave him an accusing glare. 'I thought I'd given up all dignity long ago when I joined this crew,' he said. 'But this? This is a new low, Frey.'
'It's character-building,' said Frey.

Chris Wooding

Chris D'elia Quotes #497473
#67. A girl who pays attention is very cool. It's really hard to pay attention to someone. I understand. I get it. I get bored a lot when I'm talking to people, but I try. So I'd like for the girl to try, too.

Chris D'Elia

Chris D'elia Quotes #517302
#68. Can life be defined? Well, how would you go about it? Well, of course, you'd go to Encyclopedia Britannica and open at L. No, of course you don't do that; you put it somewhere in Google. And then you might get something.

Chris Adami

Chris D'elia Quotes #521893
#69. I have a journalism degree, but I'd rather be the person who is being written about rather than the person who is writing.

Chris Jericho

Chris D'elia Quotes #540613
#70. We looked as if we'd been cobbled together in Photoshop, the three of us, walking to my husband's funeral. One white middle-class mother, one skinny black refugee girl, and one small Dark Knight from Gotham City.

Chris Cleave

Chris D'elia Quotes #576735
#71. Once I started doing stand-up, everything fell into place. That was when I started acting more; I felt like I'd found my place in the business.

Chris D'Elia

Chris D'elia Quotes #585733
#72. When you get a little older, you think, I'd like to make a little money and stick it away or buy a place - or win the world championship.

Chris LeDoux

Chris D'elia Quotes #586058
#73. I mean, if somebody said to me, junior year of college, you can go anywhere, your old man's paying for it, I'd have been gone in a flash. But I had to work. Every summer my mother would say, 'Get that job and hold on to it until August 30.'

Chris Matthews

Chris D'elia Quotes #591033
#74. I found in general, I got involved in that station toward the end of my freshmen year, and I just loved how there's this incredible library of music that I'd never heard of from all over the world and different genres.

Chris Baio

Chris D'elia Quotes #599474
#75. I've had this song in a drawer for a long time, maybe seven or eight years. Every time I'd do an album, I'd take it out and listen to it, and always liked what it had to say. Plus when Garth came in and sang on it, that made it really special.

Chris LeDoux

Chris D'elia Quotes #621880
#76. My uncles used to call me 'Devil Child,' or 'Triple' for triple six. They used to tell my brother Chris that they were going to get the demons out of him because he was also a little crazy. But to me, they'd just be like, 'You're too far gone. There's no exorcising you anymore.'

Liam Hemsworth

Chris D'elia Quotes #633215
#77. I'd forced myself to interact with so much pornography, I no longer regarded my wife in a sexual manner. Each time I tried, my mind filled with images of fetish porn. I could admire her dress, legs and hips, but the response was aesthetic and intellectual, as if studying art I couldn't afford.

Chris Offutt

Chris D'elia Quotes #634780
#78. Kenya, being a third world country, from a young age your eyes are open to the real world. I'd like to think growing up there taught me to stand on my own two feet, make my own decisions about what I wanted to be.

Chris Froome

Chris D'elia Quotes #644093
#79. On the day of the Boston Marathon bombings, for example, I actually knew more about what had happened than the CAPCOM I'd called.

Chris Hadfield

Chris D'elia Quotes #659534
#80. Every guy is different, but just prepare to know him in a different way and be OK with it, because the times I've lived with girls, and I've lived with some very sweet girls, I felt bad that they had to live with me.

Chris D'Elia

Chris D'elia Quotes #672541
#81. I don't know if I'd do an action movie because I don't know if I could keep a straight face; honestly, I just think it's so silly. Like, I love watching them but I can't imagine me doing one.

Chris O'Dowd

Chris D'elia Quotes #686384
#82. With how huge Yes was, especially in the '70s and '80s, as a touring band and actually playing at the JFK Stadium in Philadelphia to 130,000 people, which is the biggest-paying show ever in rock history, you would think we'd done enough for the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame.

Chris Squire

Chris D'elia Quotes #698386
#83. If I had a bowler hat, I'd take it off to the author of this beautifully crafted steampunk novel.

Chris D'Lacey

Chris D'elia Quotes #706999
#84. I know what you're thinking: why is Chris Rock bagging groceries? But I dropped out of high school in the tenth grade, so if I couldn't tell jokes this is exactly what I'd be doing.

Chris Rock

Chris D'elia Quotes #713788
#85. If Shakespeare was alive today, he'd be writing wrestling shows.

Chris Jericho

Chris D'elia Quotes #731742
#86. Because of our selfishness and inclination toward personal comfort and convenience, we'd rather not have to deal with constant change and uncertainty. We have difficulty reconciling the goodness of God with the mystery of his ways.

Chris Hodges

Chris D'elia Quotes #737887
#87. Hearing her say my name - a name I'd walked away from long ago - tore at my insides worse than any bullet could. It hurt like love. Like dying.

Chris Holm

Chris D'elia Quotes #741396
#88. It was not warm and not cold. There was no wind and the sky was very low and grey but it wasn't raining. It was like they'd completely run out of weather.

Chris Cleave

Chris D'elia Quotes #744396
#89. There's been a lot of times that I thought I'd never work again; I was really bummed out.

Chris Messina

Chris D'elia Quotes #758909
#90. He'd already accepted that he was going to die, and he wanted to do it there, not at home from a disease he couldn't fight with a gun or his fists. "It doesn't matter," he told me. "I'll die and you'll find someone else. People die out here all the time. Their wives go on and find someone else.

Chris Kyle

Chris D'elia Quotes #771079
#91. I never really thought about myself being in really big movies at all. In fact, I always though I'd do, I don't know, smaller movies is not quite the right word, but more character-oriented, dramatic things. I took myself a little bit seriously.

Chris Pine

Chris D'elia Quotes #810375
#92. Whitney Cummings is one of the hardest working people I know, and she's very motivated.

Chris D'Elia

Chris D'elia Quotes #811401
#93. As much as we love playing the small clubs, we'd really like to get ourselves in front of a larger audience. I'm not talking about arenas or anything, but nice theaters and larger clubs.

Chris Frantz

Chris D'elia Quotes #811667
#94. I definitely am a performer, and there are different styles of stand-up; I mean, some people are writers and they get onstage to get jokes out, and that's definitely not what I do. I like to just go up and, if I'm telling a story about someone, I'll play his or her part.

Chris D'Elia

Chris D'elia Quotes #814346
#95. Being on 'Whitney' is a job, but stand-up is my life. I could never stop. There's an art to it. I love having strangers laugh with me, so as long as I can continue doing that, I'll be happy. Working on a show and collectively sharing ideas with a cast is great, but stand-up is my first love.

Chris D'Elia

Chris D'elia Quotes #952666
#96. I never really feel like just standing there and telling jokes. I want to move around. In fact, it's hard for me to write a joke where I don't end up on the ground for some reason. Hey, at least that way, I know no comics will steal my jokes. Too many bruises.

Chris D'Elia

Chris D'elia Quotes #1274286
#97. I would never say that I'm good at being on dates. I think I like to try to find a connection with somebody, like, that's my main thing. I think that maybe if you find a connection with a girl on a date, that's like the No. 1 thing, and then it's like, 'Cool, that was a great date.'

Chris D'Elia

Chris D'elia Quotes #1751722
#98. I'm a dude, obviously, and when I'm not in a relationship, I don't do laundry until I want to. But if I live with a girl, you have to do it when she wants to or when we want to, which sucks.

Chris D'Elia

Chris D'elia Quotes #1752376
#99. My biggest pet peeve is when a girl says, "I'm not into drama." Why are you even mentioning it?! That's dramatic in itself!

Chris D'Elia

Chris D'elia Quotes #1762396
#100. I'm a selfish person, and I'm going onstage to have a good time, and I'd love if you want to be a part of it. So if people don't get it, they're wrong. I think they're wrong, and I think they either don't want to have a good time or they just don't like my style.

Chris D'Elia

Chris D'elia Quotes #1827817

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