Top 100 Chong's Quotes
#1. From Dickens's cockneys to Salinger's phonies, from Kerouac's beatniks to Cheech and Chong's freaks, and on to hip hop's homies, dialect has always been used as a way for generations to distinguish themselves.
Christopher Moore
#2. Music has always been a big part of Cheech & Chong's career, so it's just natural. You know, I was a musician before I met Cheech and had a record with Motown, and so I've got the cred.
Tommy Chong
#3. Did you ever see Cheech and Chong's Up in Smoke? That's what happens if you really smoke weed and make a movie. You get two guys and no plot and it's basically like, 'Yeah! Let's drive a van made of weed!' And that's pretty much the movie.
James Franco
#5. The GRAMMY was a huge deal. It's the height of any musical career.
Tommy Chong
#6. Jail was probably the most exciting thing that's ever happened to me.
Tommy Chong
#7. When you hit a groove, it's not you; it's the spirit world. The spirits whisper the ideas in your brain and prod you along. They're the ones that are really happy.
Tommy Chong
#8. That receiver was as wide open as Annabel Chong.
Dennis Miller
#9. If somebody is smoking a joint in a movie, I say it's a cigarette - a big cigarette if it's a Cheech and Chong movie.
Eminem
#10. The good thing about poverty is it keeps you from getting in trouble because if you can't afford drugs, people will stop giving them to you very quickly. So, being poor really helps - it's the success that kills you.
Tommy Chong
#11. I used to joke for years that I was a black man. I adopted the black culture, the black race. I married a black woman, and I had black kids. I always considered myself a 'brother.'
Tommy Chong
#12. You can seduce a man without taking anything off, without even touching him.
Rae Dawn Chong
#13. I'm just glad I can make a difference in someone's life.
Tommy Chong
#14. I know, because I tried all sorts of ways of being in character, and the best way is to be totally straight.
Tommy Chong
#15. When two or three are gathered in unison, when all awareness is in total harmony, something magical will happen.
Daniel Chong
#16. And during times such as those, when people wanted to get on with life, the Battle of the Sexes turned into all-out war.
In the Battle of the Sexes fought by the Milesians, the men won.Whilst in the battle fought by the Malesians, the men lost.[INTRO]
Nicholas Chong
#17. I love to meet my fans, and after every show I usually hang out for a few hours, talking to my fans, signing autographs, and selling T-shirts.
Tommy Chong
#18. He [Cupid] was Love [Eros] reborn. And as he was born after his parents coupled as Love-Birds, he was born with little fluttering wings.
Nicholas Chong
#19. Then, having accomplished what he wanted to do, Eros decided to stop the futile battle. He recalled Phobos & Deimos from Mars & sent him Anteros & Himeros instead.
And immediately, the God of Hate turned into the God of Passion.
Nicholas Chong
#20. So (legalizing marijuana) means a lot more to me than just being able to smoke a joint without being arrested.
Tommy Chong
#21. There's the exciting part about comedy - if you catch an act just before they go mainstream, that's the best. After they hit the mainstream, everything gets watered down a little bit.
Tommy Chong
#22. What made me a comedian was that I wasn't really a songwriter, I was more of a poet.
Tommy Chong
#23. It's like love making, the foreplay is the biggest part, the same thing as comedy. If you can frame your show in such a way that the funny jokes become funnier.
Tommy Chong
#24. To be in a situation where you have no rights whatsoever is something I wish everybody could experience. People's attitudes would change. It would be a better place.
Tommy Chong
#27. Look at all the drug busts all over the country. There must be an audience there somewhere. My feeling is that if we're losing the war on drugs, let's do a movie for the enemy.
Tommy Chong
#28. And thus, the men won the Battle of the Sexes in Milesian times, so that from the Golden Age of Athens until the Golden Age of Rome, when all citizens were free to speak & vote at the State Assemblies, only women, barbarians & slaves were excluded.[INTRO]
Nicholas Chong
#29. There's a hierarchy in prison, and I was right at the top.
Tommy Chong
#30. And in an age when the girls were clearly gaining the upper hand on men in the Battle of the Sexes, men could do with some help from Pet Spirits & Dead Men's Oil.
For unlike Milesians, Malesians could not send girls to be sacrificed to the Gods.[MMT]
Nicholas Chong
#31. There is an intelligence factor that works with the spoken word. With words, you have to understand meaning and nuances and things like that. You have to be able to relate ... but with music it's just music.
Tommy Chong
#32. Fast isn't turning us into Masters of the Universe, It's turning us into Cheech and Chong.
Carl Honore
#33. Surf music at the time that I did it wasn't mainstream, nor were the Cheech and Chong albums. The risk comes from having the ability to do something that hadn't been done before that I thought was either interesting as an art form or just should be done.
Lou Adler
#34. Cigarettes, I won't do cigarettes, nicotine will kill ya.
Tommy Chong
#35. Men had been threatened by women from the days of Pandora, the first woman, & would not spare any efforts in order to rule over womankind.Depriving women of clothes was the first thing to do in order to put women at a disadvantage. And it also turned women into playthings from formidable foes.[MMT]
Nicholas Chong
#38. I never did smoke that much pot; never was a big pothead.
Tommy Chong
#39. And thus it behoved Eros to put back fun, romance & passion into the union of love. He had to find Himeros, from the sea, from Uranus' cut off testicles, to bring Passion back into the union of love.
Nicholas Chong
#40. When Chong made to sit down next to her, Lilah drew her knife and stabbed the point into the earth between them.
"I can see that you need some quiet time," he said and scuttled quickly away.
Jonathan Maberry
#41. In his new will, Typhon had named Phyllis as his only surviving relative & called her his wife.And he thus bequeathed to Phyllis everything he owned, including his flesh, bones & offals. And thus the terrible Typhon had married Phyllis without telling her.[MMT]
Nicholas Chong
#42. Awakening your spiritual side is really what artists do. When you hit a groove, it's not you; it's the spirit world.
Tommy Chong
#43. I've always known, all my life, that I was going to be something special. I never knew what it was, but I always had that feeling. I think my mother installed it when I was a little guy.
Tommy Chong
#44. Yes!Sir!I would sell my virginity to you or anyone else for one million dollars.Then my sister will not have to be a prostitute any longer.[MMT]
Nicholas Chong
#45. Her sister, Vicky, had explained to her that being female, she had no choice but to be involved in the Battle of the Sexes.[MMT]
Nicholas Chong
#46. Well I don't know, I might have lost my citizenship, I don't think you can lose your citizenship though.
Tommy Chong
#47. How do you know that?"
"Because,"Chong said with raised eyebrows,"when you open those things called 'books',there are words as well as pictures.Sometimes the words tell you stuff.
Jonathan Maberry
#48. Well,Sir," she began,"I am twenty-one years old & still a virgin. I have never experienced sexual intercourse. My hymen is not broken.Old men say that a virgin's Nectar is good for them. I understand that you want to buy. I want to sell."[MMT]
Nicholas Chong
#49. Chong said, 'Do yourself a favor, Morg. Next time you're staring at a girl's boobs, look up. You'll be shocked to learn it, but there's going to be a face up there. Nose, mouth, eyes. And behind the eyes is an actual person.
Jonathan Maberry
#50. I converted a family-owned strip club into an improvisational acting theater.
Tommy Chong
#51. Wait for the right, honest words from the man you're interested in before jumping conclusions. Unless he tells you he loves you, he doesn't.
Grace D. Chong
#52. My sister and I said, Dad, are you doing to do anything about that? And he mentioned treatments other people sent him that he'd been working on. So we thought it would be kind of cool to give these guys a real script.
Rae Dawn Chong
#53. I know the musical world as well as I know the comedy world.
Tommy Chong
#54. The funny thing is, Dennis Miller got me back into comedy.
Tommy Chong
#55. 'That '70s Show' was one of the highlights of my life. I didn't expect to be on it as long as I was.
Tommy Chong
#56. And thus Epimetheus took the lovely Pandora to wife in spite of the warning of his brother, Prometheus, then in the Caucasus, to beware of the Gods bearing gifts.
Nicholas Chong
#57. Religion is run by thought police. 'Obey. Listen. This is what you do. Don't ask questions. Go die for your country.' The spirituality says, 'Okay, you can die for your country, but know what you're doing while you're doing it.'
Tommy Chong
#58. Any excuse to live in New York and do art. Has to be one of the most rewarding experiences in the world.
Tommy Chong
#59. I was about sixteen when I discovered that music could get you laid, so I got into music boy, didn't matter what you looked like either, you could be a geeky looking guy but if you played music, whoa, you'd get the girls.
Tommy Chong
#60. The thing is about Cheech & Chong, we've brought more families together than Dr. Phil.
Tommy Chong
#61. Everything that happens to me is very cosmic.
Tommy Chong
#62. The trouble when you're doing something illegal is that you know what you're doing. You're lying to your parents, you're lying to your kids. The only person you can't lie to is yourself.
Tommy Chong
#63. My incarceration was actually a positive thing from the beginning. I needed a gimmick to get my act going again, it gave me material.
Tommy Chong
#64. Unfortunately, the American justice system is just riddled with lies and inconsistencies.
Tommy Chong
#65. Life, especially in America, is ruled by corporations.
Tommy Chong
#66. Well, I started out as a musician, so when I was about 10 years old, I was already in a band.
Tommy Chong
#67. The Shades never recorded anything, Little Daddy and the Bachelors recorded a couple of records, ya.
Tommy Chong
#68. When Psyche got up to leave, Eros once again mentioned that he would miss her on Sunday."Even if you come on Sunday, I shall not be able to give you what you want. I shall be having my period then & it will be too messy for your liking," his secretary advised him.[MMT]
Nicholas Chong
#69. Musicians can travel all over the world and have an audience, because there's no language barrier.
Tommy Chong
#70. Maybe once in a while, you know, after a hard day of shooting or something like that, I'd kick back.
Tommy Chong
#71. If more people were stoned there would be less violence in the world.
Tommy Chong
#72. You can imagine in China it's like: 'Ching chong hugong, ching chong kong, Danny Devito. Ching chong chong chong chong. The View. Ching chong!
Rosie O'Donnell
#73. I want my ashes either with some really good primo or as some fertilizer for plants.
Tommy Chong
#74. She then turned to Poseidon & with a large smile, asked him to undress her.Taken aback by such an unusual request, the young man baulked.She then begged him to undress her saying that the customers were now waiting to see her show.[MMT]
Nicholas Chong
#75. I've always believed in the concept of retirement. I retired for the first time at age 18 ... from school. To me, retirement means doing what you want to do without worrying about getting paid for it.
Tommy Chong
#76. Comedy is the ultimate truth. Jazz is hitting the notes that that no one else would hit, and comedy is saying words that no one else would say.
Tommy Chong
#77. When I was a bit older I had all of the George Carlin records, all of the Steve Martin records, all of the Cheech and Chong records and all of the Richard Pryor records.
Marc Maron
#78. They just wanted to show the entertainment world that we're vulnerable.
Tommy Chong
#79. The way jazz works is that we take a theme, and then we write using the same structure, same chord changes, and then we can do different tunes.
Tommy Chong
#80. There was also another funny feeling that he had for the elder sister. For some unfathomable reason, he was attracted to her knees. He had always felt like biting them!
Nicholas Chong
#81. If we dare to win, we should also dare to lose
Lee Chong Wei
#82. My marriage was breaking up, and my marriage with Chong was breaking up. I had to come back and kind of start on my own again.
Cheech Marin
#83. I never read the paper myself. Why bother? It's the same old shit day in and day out, dictators beating the ching-chong out of people weaker than they are, men in uniforms beating the ching-chong out of soccer balls or footballs, politicians kissing babies and kissing ass.
Stephen King
#84. I think that my script, if it gets used, would be great. But if it doesn't, I think it inspired them.
Rae Dawn Chong
#85. Every time I get tested, I ask questions about it, and I watch how they do it.
Tommy Chong
#86. You can't become a dictator through checks and balances.
Tommy Chong
#87. No. Maceo played sax, didn't he, well they used to sit in.
Tommy Chong
#88. Cheech and I used to call ourselves musicians; we never called ourselves comedians. We were musicians that were funny.
Tommy Chong
#89. My mother sold my virginity for two thousand dollars when I was thirteen but my sister bought it back for three thousand dollars that she borrowed from the massage parlour.
My virginity was the only available asset that my mother had left, that she could sell.[MMT]
Nicholas Chong
#90. But you can't exercise and be high. It's impossible.
Tommy Chong
#91. And she[Aphrodite]mourned Nerites' loss not because Nerites was her paramour but because she was her mentor.It was, strangely enough,poor Nerites who had taught her all she had known about sex & love until then. For how was a young Goddess, who was born from a cockle, to know about such things?
Nicholas Chong
#92. This one looks good," said Chong over breakfast the next morning.
Benny read out loud from the paper. "'Pit Thrower.' What's that?"
"I don't know," Chong said with a mouth full of toast. "I think it has something to do with barbecuing."
It didn't.
Jonathan Maberry
#93. You know, I left the country when Reagan got in; I went to France.
Tommy Chong
#94. That's got to be Nix," Benny said as he pulled the door open. "Hey, sweetie ... "
Morgie Mitchell and Lou Chong stood on the black porch.
"Um," said Chong, "hello to you, too, sugar lumps.
Jonathan Maberry
#96. And thus Bacchus turned Phyllis into his slave. She had become the lovely slave girl, Briseis, whom Achilles took as a war prize & whom Achilles had to yield to Agamemnon, his boss. Just as Phyllis was the prize that Eros found & whom Eros had to yield to Bacchus,his boss.[MMT]
Nicholas Chong
#97. Activism, to me, I don't know if it really works. It may work for somebody else, but it does not work for me.
Tommy Chong
#98. You look at Cheney, Rumsfeld, Karl Rove, and Bush - if you saw them on Halloween, they wouldn't need a costume. You'd give them a treat and compliment them on what great-looking demons they were. They are demons. There's no doubt about it.
Tommy Chong
#99. When they put me in jail, that's when they turned me into an activist. Up until the time I went to jail, I was just a comedian.
Tommy Chong
#100. All the Directors were happy that they had been able to enjoy a bit of extra-marital sex without breaking their matrimonial vows & seeing how pleased they were, the lovely slave offered to perform for them a dance of love & ecstasy.[MMT]
Nicholas Chong
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