Top 100 Chelsea's Quotes
#1. But doesn't it seem like Chelsea's sort of being pimped out in some weird sort of way?
David Shuster
#2. All Chelsea's internet dates were gorgeous. Until she met them.
Jojo Moyes
#3. Mike Adams' assertion that I grabbed Chelsea's (backside) is both false and defamatory. I think we can all agree that Chelsea is not nearly as hot as Ms. Lewinski. The charges simply lack any indicia of credibility. I demand an apology. And I also demand a cigar.
William J. Clinton
#4. Chelsea's players, coaches and agents are now football's wealthiest millionaires. Surely the billions taken from the Russian people by an oligarch in questionable privatisations couldn't be better spent?
Simon Kuper
#5. The full moon cast an eerie glow through thick ancient dark woods. In the shadows around a tree, the serial killer ran his knife lovingly over Chelsea's trussed dead body. She lay, as if posed for a photo, wearing only bloody pink underpants.
H. Raven Rose
#6. Immediately Chelsea latched onto her wrist and pulled Veronica's hand toward the cup. "Nonsense." Chelsea's eyes narrowed in on Veronica. Her eyes turned black and her mouth opened slightly, revealing her fangs. "Now drink up, researcher. Don't let a good drink go to waste.
Isaiyan Morrison
#7. Ten years ago I also had a very difficult decision to make when we had (Carlo) Cudicini giving fantastic performances in Chelsea's goal for many years. I had in my hands a 22-year-old goalkeeper I thought could be in Chelsea's goals for years and years and years and this situation is quite similar.
Jose Mourinho
#8. I think when you have spent the money that we have, it's bound to bring it's own pressure. The players have shown that they can handle that though.
(on Chelsea)
Frank Lampard
#9. Thinking about the world writ large, I am more optimistic than not that we will tackle our most pressing challenges, whether poverty or equality for women and girls or climate change; but I also know we'll only tackle them if people are really informed about the challenge and what's proven to work.
Chelsea Clinton
#10. As the youngest of six kids, I grew up spending summers on Martha's Vineyard, and I was always topless. All the pictures are of me in jean shorts, no shirt - with my brothers, playing football.
Chelsea Handler
#11. She just keeps kissing my scars. Every scar. She knows about them all. She watched them all appear and heal. Sophie's lips against me make every punch, every kick, every wound, every scar worth it.
Chelsea Fine
#12. What's profound and exciting is the way young people are taking advantage of the fact that the Internet enables everyone to have a megaphone. It enables everyone to stand up and say, 'I deserve to be heard, and I demand that you listen.'
Chelsea Clinton
#13. There's tons of information on the Internet, so if you type in cancer, they'll give you 15, 000 different options to get involved with cancer. It's very easy to get involved if you want to get involved, especially to volunteer your time.
Chelsea Handler
#14. My favorite place in the world is this store called My Sister's Closet in Arizona and it's the greatest secondhand shop in the world.
Chelsea Kane
#15. Paris Hilton has launched a new champagne in a can called Rich Prosecco. For the ad campaign Paris posed wearing nothing but gold paint. That's a unique way to cover up herpes.
Chelsea Handler
#16. I love 'Made In Chelsea,' and I think it's a great show.
Amy Childs
#17. And because Scarlet loved pancakes ... That's what he would do. Make pancakes and flee.
Chelsea Fine
#18. You're such an imbecile, you know that?"
"Yet, here you sit next to me trying to catch my attention with your legs. Is this your way of showing me what's on offer, because I have news for you, Chelsea, I ain't buying it. So what do you want?
Heidi McLaughlin
#19. Everything isn't permanent, so don't pretend that it is. Everything's supposed to move and shift.
Chelsea Handler
#20. Tawny shrugged. "I was overreacting. Typical big sister move. He explained why he did it, and it makes sense, in a slightly twisted way. He's not a bad guy. He's just a jerk. But a nice one."
"That doesn't make any sense."
"Men rarely do.
Chelsea M. Cameron
#21. Jean Shrimpton was the most beautiful of all the models I have known. To walk down the King's Road, Chelsea, with Shrimpton was like walking through the rye. Strong men just keeled over right and left as she strode up the street.
Mary Quant
#22. She had Nick Lachey's body, a deep voice, very small boobies, and a crew cut. It would have come as no surprise if she had walked into the backyard to compete in a rock-hurling competition after dinner.
Chelsea Handler
#23. I love feeling in touch with Mother Nature. Spending time outside - whether it's hiking, biking, walking on the beach, or lying in the sun - brings me clarity and energy.
Chelsea Krost
#24. I don't understand what apps are on my phone. Why do they ask for passwords? Why do they all ask for different passwords? It's so frustrating that I end up just reading a book every time I try to go online.
Chelsea Handler
#25. That's not what I want my children to hear. That's not representative of the country that I want my children to grow up in. And so that actually I found far more upsetting as a mom, as a woman, as an American, and even as my mother's daughter than anything they said about my mom.
Chelsea Clinton
#27. This kind of mixing of ingredients happens all the time at fast-food places ... You know when you order french fries and there's a rogue onion ring at the bottom. You know, at first you're alarmed but you eat it. It all comes from the same place! You just have to go for it.
Chelsea Handler
#28. It's pretty satisfying to use an image when you don't have a great articulate response. And to be able to customize emoji? Imagine if you were a car enthusiast and you were able to create a car from scratch. That's what this is like for me. I'm an emoji enthusiast.
Chelsea Peretti
#29. Ask me why I never joined a sorority. I went to college in Georgia. Still... never tempted. Why?" *lady in leather making speech with man tided to alter* "That's why. Delta Delta Delta. Kiwanis. Girl Scouts. They all lead here-- to the basement of the Hellfire Club.
Chelsea Cain
#30. Choose the guy that's going to make you a better girl.
Chelsea Handler
#31. Role models really matter. It's hard to imagine yourself as something you don't see.
Chelsea Clinton
#32. There are some die-hard 'Chelsea Lately' fans, and that's where the majority of my fans come from. Chelsea is really helping make comedy audiences hipper and edgier.
Natasha Leggero
#33. He then eyed Tristan and took a step back, stumbling over his cloak. "You must be the earl's twin brother. But your eyes ... how are they so green?"
"They were brown until your heathen of a cousin shot me through the heart," Tristan said crossly.
Chelsea Fine
#34. What do you think, Elizabeth?" Dad turned to me.
"Um, my name's still Chelsea. Remember, you named me that yourself? When I was born?
Leila Sales
#35. Every time I enter a country and have to write down my occupation at customs, I'm like, 'I don't know ... Author? Host? Writer? Stand-up?' I usually write 'author' - that's the safest bet.
Chelsea Handler
#36. I know the questions will be around the money, the amount Chelsea had to spend to bring him here but that's the reality of modern football. Big teams only want big players, big players are in big clubs, big clubs want to keep their big players.
Jose Mourinho
#37. I do think about marriage, but it's not the end-all goal.
Chelsea Handler
#38. It's hard to see love when you have it, but when it's gone you're blind to anything else.
Chelsea Fine
#39. I mean, before I innocently knocked him off Sarah's bed and he, all on his own, injured himself by not falling to the floor properly.
Chelsea M. Campbell
#40. I'm a big cat person. It's one of those things that's like, everybody that knows me thinks it's so weirdly apparent and obvious.
Chelsea Leyland
#41. I won't argue with you, but still it's secretly turning me into a hateful person. I figure that the best revenge, though, is to leave people to their own devices, and they will make their own lives hell.
Dee Dee Ramone
#42. Stand-up was my entree into the entertainment world. I didn't have to act out somebody else's words. I could just stand there with a microphone, and nobody would interrupt me. It's the most narcissistic thing you could probably do.
Chelsea Handler
#43. When we look at that jingoism and the sexism and the racism and the homophobia, that's not who we are, and that's not the country that I want my daughter to grow up in.
Chelsea Clinton
#44. I never considered myself a supermodel or anything like that. I mean, I don't think I'm ugly. I have good days and bad days, and I like when I'm fit and lean and all of those things that any woman likes, but it's not the eye of the hurricane for me.
Chelsea Handler
#45. I think everyone's afraid of public speaking. There have been times where I've come out of my own show and been like, 'Oh, God, what am I doing?' ... You have to remind yourself that 'OK, I'm kind of a badass. I can handle it.'
Chelsea Handler
#46. The whole thing about my books and my life is that I create drama's always around me.
Chelsea Handler
#47. I love heels, and as a size 36, I've accumulated a wall of amazing high heels from catwalk shows over the years where designers had to make especially small shoes. Tom Ford's golden versions are my favourite. I do, however, also live in my flat Saint Laurent Chelsea boots or Givenchy sneakers.
Liberty Ross
#48. It's none of his business."
"You are my business. I made you my business. I want you to be my business.
Chelsea M. Cameron
#50. My parents divorced when I was one year old so I don't really remember any of the details, but luckily my mom does so she's been really helpful.
Chelsea Peretti
#51. I started my own business because my parents had no dowry for me, and I was worried. I ran it from their Martha Vineyard's summer house. I baby-sat for a 14-year-old boy all summer and was giving him time-outs, even though I was two years younger than him.
Chelsea Handler
#52. It's true what they say about patience being a virtue; it just happens to be a virtue that I choose not to pursue.
Chelsea Handler
#53. If diamonds are a girl's best friend, I wonder if blood diamonds are a girl's best friend 5 days out of the month?
Chelsea Handler
#55. I moved to Kentish Town from Chelsea in 1983, partly because I had a lot of friends already living in the area and because it took an hour off the journey to my house in Suffolk. It has a villagey feel, and it's still a very mixed community, which I like.
Diana Quick
#56. There's times where you think, 'Gosh, what if nobody ever wants to hear what I have to say?'
Chelsea Handler
#57. Appropriation is the idea that ate the art world. Go to any Chelsea gallery or international biennial and you'll find it. It's there in paintings of photographs, photographs of advertising, sculpture with ready-made objects, videos using already-existing film.
Jerry Saltz
#58. That's my biggest struggle, is maintaining a personal romantic relationship. It takes a lot of effort.
Chelsea Handler
#59. Whatever you think this is going to be like," she whispers, "it's going to be worse.
Chelsea Cain
#60. It was easier to blame myself than to say that it was an accident that I had no control over. Losing control is one of the scariest things. That's why people are afraid of the dark. Or death. They're afraid of not being in control.
Chelsea M. Cameron
#61. Obviously its nice to give your time and especially when there is money being raised. It's rewarding.
Chelsea Handler
#62. When I look at all the people that I have working for me and the company I've started and all the people that benefit from it and have a living because of it, it's very motivating to continue to do it.
Chelsea Handler
#63. Subject: Not a chance
Missy,
I accept your challenge, and may I remind you, that if you want me to leave you alone, there is that little bet we have going. Win it, and I'm gone.
Impatiently (and nakedly) yours,
Mr. Hunter Aaron Zaccadelli, esquire.
P.S. Bring it on.
Chelsea M. Cameron
#64. Even if times are tough and you're enduring a terrible heartache, it's important to focus your anger on a vibrator, not another person.
Chelsea Handler
#65. Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie are ridiculous-looking - especially her. They're so strange and charismatic and weird. It's pretty hard to take your eyes off them.
Chelsea Handler
#66. We spend so much money on these dresses that are terrible. And what do we get out of it? Nothing - a piece of chicken and a roll in the hay with her hillbilly cousin - no thank you. My family's very close; I can do that at home.
Chelsea Handler
#67. It had not crossed my mind, but maybe it has Mourinho's because that is what Chelsea did two seasons ago to Xabi Alonso.
Rafael Benitez
#68. Chelsea clapped her hand over her heart, melodramatically. "Using my love of chocolate against me. I have no choice but to crumble like a ... chocolate cookie. Or whatever," She said when Laurel eyed her. "My metaphors suck. Let's go.
Aprilynne Pike
#69. Everyone is coming from a place of fear and my feeling is stop being so afraid. If something doesn't work then that's fine at least then you know it doesn't work. Don't worry so much about it not working, you can always fix that.
Chelsea Handler
#70. If you are a drinker, always use a pseudonym when booking hotels. None of us really know what kind of mess we're going to leave behind, and there's no sense in getting banned from a resort you respect.
Chelsea Handler
#71. I think it is probably more important to attend specialized conventions for a journeyman writer than any other, but it's useful at all stages of a career, if for nothing else, to find out how the industry is working at any given time.
Chelsea Quinn Yarbro
#72. I am so grateful, without sounding cheesy, to have such amazing friends with me and to have a career that's going so well.
Chelsea Leyland
#73. First of all, who cares if people hate you? There's always a guarantee that certain people will dislike you. There's never any guarantee that anyone will like you. So if anyone likes you at all, you've already won.
Chelsea Handler
#74. I'm a devilish kind of person, but I embrace it. I don't try to fight it. It's proven very well for me.
Chelsea Handler
#75. There's a McDonalds in Hong Kong & they're offering couples the opportunity to get married. You can have a McWedding.
Chelsea Handler
#76. I like people like Robert De Niro and Anthony Hopkins. And Gianfranco Zola, who played for Chelsea and Italy. He's an artist with his feet.
Phil Daniels
#77. The park was littered with couples kissing behind trees and making out on park benches. And paper stars were everywhere; in trees, on the ground, above heads, inside mouths ...
It was like Valentine's Day.
On crack.
Chelsea Fine
#78. Sometimes, Chelsea, I wonder, how you get by from day to day. It's a good thing you're so voluptuous.
Chelsea Handler
#79. But then, like George Michael in a men's bathroom, I got cocky.
Chelsea Handler
#80. If you're really looking to hurt somebody's feelings, just break up with them.
Chelsea Handler
#81. It's really irritating. Even people who like my work sometimes come up to me and say, 'I usually don't like female comedians, but your material is great!' It makes the job prospect more daunting. Funny is funny, you know?
Chelsea Peretti
#82. I ride horseback - arthritic knees permitting - or listen to opera. Sometimes I cook. I used to do needlework, but it's hard on my hands now, so I only do it occasionally, but I like it. And, of course, I read.
Chelsea Quinn Yarbro
#83. My artistic process involves pens, gesso, acrylic paint, and markers, all on vellum. I use a window painter's technique and paint on the backside of my image before I mess with the front.
Chelsea Martin
#85. He laid into me with the same gusto as a right-wing political pundit on the O'Reilly Factor defending President's Bush right to vacation six days out of the week.
Chelsea Handler
#86. I have no idea why gay men love me, but I would have to assume it's because they know how much I love the gays! Everyone needs a good gay man in their life.
Chelsea Handler
#87. I barely watch TV. Somehow, I make it work with just the Internet. On TV, there's always so much crap, and you have to flip around.
Chelsea Peretti
#88. I love the 6 Nations rugby. I feel very Scottish then. I feel very Scottish now, sitting in the middle of Chelsea. But that's part of our heritage - being part of Britain, part of Europe. I love being European.
Rory Bremner
#89. Several shades of the color, cloudy, silvery shades, churn underneath the surface of his skin, making him look marbled, textured. It paints a barely believable portrait. Every feature on him works in harmony to create, well, a person. But he's unlike any person I've ever seen.
Chelsea Scott
#90. It's not so easy for us when we play teams who have a different mindset, like Chelsea or Inter Milan, because they have the intention of trying to stop us rather than playing a game that is more attractive for the spectators to enjoy.
Lionel Messi
#91. On tour, it's either call ex-boyfriends or tweet a lot. You're just looking for any proof that you're not completely alone.
Chelsea Peretti
#92. Don't think about anything for too long. Even if it's off-the-wall, go for it. You'll have a lot more fun in life.
Chelsea Handler
#93. She's everything I've ever wanted. And she won't let me love her.
Chelsea Fine
#94. John Terry is the perfect skipper. It's obvious Chelsea means everything to him. When he makes those last ditch blocks, team-mates can't help but be inspired.
Kasey Keller
#95. For all the glamour of living forever ... immortality is really just a long curse. Finite life is precious; it's fleeting and significant. But immortality ... immortality isn't living at all. It's a permanent existence void of meaning.
Chelsea Fine
#96. Ivory's the kind of girl who gets drunk and immediately starts slurring. I have a lot of friends like that, and I think it's because it makes me look 'more together.
Chelsea Handler
#97. It's hard to bury your head in Los Angeles. People come up to you and say, 'Hey, I saw your picture on a bus.' It's tricky: You're excited by the possibilities, but you don't want to get too crazy.
Chelsea Peretti
#98. It's the damnedest thing, a dying plant, and it makes a man want to give up. But that's the beauty of gardening, son. You can revive the things that wither.
Chelsea Fine
#99. There's a difference between racism and people making a joke about something. There is true racism going on, and people should be able to identify what that is, comparatively.
Chelsea Handler
#100. I just kept thinking about what my mom [Hillary Clinton] has said repeatedly when people have asked her similar questions, she's tough and she can take whatever people say about her.
Chelsea Clinton
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