Top 32 Boss Humor Quotes
#1. I'd like to show you who's the boss, but I'm afraid it would only
confirm that you are.
Jane Seabrook
#2. The boss is never your friend, even if you're sleeping with him.
Jacob M. Appel
#3. Take me with you?" she asked, reaching for is arm. He looked back at were the four women stood watching them and shook his head.
"I've seen Piper ruin a whole gaming area, Harper scares me, Elli is my boss, and I want your mom to like me...Sorry babe, you're on your own.
Toni Aleo
#4. How do you know your boss is a lesbian?
It's when she always park her bike in a dike
Stephan Attia
#5. Your boss loves your ideas ... it's you he doesn't care about.
Steven Charles
#6. If u want to work in Corporate, then u should know how to play Chess.
Honeya
#7. DCI Horner's advice to Jack Spratt: "Remember, m'boy," his old boss had said, eyes twinkling, "that if anyone tries to get the better of you, stand up straight and say to yourself in an imperious air, 'I am the new Mrs. de Winter now!' You'll find it works wonders.
Jasper Fforde
#8. I'm a Guild Boss, remember? I have no sense of humor.
Jayne Castle
#9. My boss is like an angry bear with a sore head and poison ivy up his ass.
E.L. James
#10. The hips were the leaders of this conspiracy. So I rang my boss and held the phone to my hips so he could hear them too.
Cecelia Ahern
#11. I focused the power from my armor into my leg and kicked the door in. The metal and plastic fibers splintered and the hinges ripped free from the wall.
"By the way, boss," HARV said. "I believe that the door was unlocked.
John Zakour
#12. That was some branch. Did it have a vendetta against your t-shirt?"
"Guess so."
"I hope you showed it who is boss."
"Yeah, I peed on it.
Stacey Marie Brown
#13. I swear to God, Boss," he said one day. "Ya ain't never been a talker, but lately, if ya'd a had to rub two words together to make a fire, you'd a done froze to death.
Eli Easton
#14. If you move to the West Coast, I will make a gun out of this," she said, drunkenly brandishing a tiny straw before searching the rest of the cluttered table, "and these peanuts and this glass and shoot you in the dick, Will."
I winced at the visual. "Wow-" I began.
"In the dick, Will.
Christina Lauren
#15. I used to work at McDonald's making minimum wage. You know what that means when someone pays you minimum wage? You know what your boss was trying to say? Hey if I could pay you less, I would, but it's against the law.
Chris Rock
#16. For five years he [Thomas Hobbes (1588-1679)] served as personal secretary to, yes, Francis Bacon. In fact, I've noted over a course of years that the job of a secretary can be utterly fulfilling just in case one's boss happens to be Francis Bacon.
Daniel N. Robinson
#17. Every day was filled with surprises. What a change from the network affiliate. Her new boss was an undead automaton from hell, true, but no job was perfect.
Daniel Suarez
#18. Life, I announced, is not a B picture. Well, it ain't no De Mille epic either, boss. Things'll work out, Bernie.
Lawrence Block
#19. You know ... You're still my boss ... Which means ... This is sexual harassment ...
Oh really? I guess I'll have to fire you then.
Lexi Cubbins
#20. I said that additionally, since I was planning to nurse, it be best if you were off the breast before I came back to work.
My boss just looked at me dreamily and said, 'That won't be for sixty years, at least.
Suzanne Finnamore
#22. Straightening, I asked, "What do you believe in?"
"Old love songs, best friends, the collected works of J.R.R.Tolkien, crispy pork egg rolls with just the right amount of grease, the Big Boss and eternity."
"The Big Boss?"
Zachary pointed up, as if to heaven.
"Pious,"I teased.
Cynthia Leitich Smith
#23. If your boss is getting you down, look at him through the prongs of a fork and imagine him in jail.
David Brent
#24. There was a sound like a human yawn, and then the skull turned slightly toward me and asked, "What's up, boss?"
"Evil's afoot."
"Well, sure," Bob said, "because it refuses to learn the metric system. Otherwise it'd be up to a meter by now.
Jim Butcher
#25. If your workplace was somehow transplanted into the jungle and everyone was forced to survive at a very primitive level, it's safe to say that eventually your boss would rape you.
Scott Dikkers
#26. He didn't care if I hated him, only that I did as I was told.
Sheri Webber
#27. You can give me detention. Oh, wait, that's right ... you aren't the boss of me. So I guess you can just bite me. -Dean
Jeff Mariotte
#28. Being a leader is making the people you love hate you a little more each day.
Patrick Ness
#29. Never talk back to a teacher. Teachers are like God. Actually, teachers are God's boss.
Deborah Wiles
#30. If you think your boss is stupid, remember: you wouldn't have a job if he was any smarter.
John M. Gottman
#31. Nanahara: Where are you going, Boss?
Yashiro: To the convenience store. Whenever I buy all the condoms they have in stock and bring it to the cashier, the part-timer there makes a funny face.
Nanahara: ... That's an interesting hobby.
Kou Yoneda
#32. I always have my own opinion before my boss says his.
Gerry Geek
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