Best Diaper Quotes

#1. The first time I learned I could sell myself was when I convinced a wealthy American family to give me a job as a nanny. Childcare. Totally unqualified. But I learned to be ready for anything. And that I can adapt. That I can become the best diaper changer.

Scott Raab

#2. How to fold a diaper depends on the size of the baby and the diaper.

Benjamin Spock

#3. It
was my first doll that water went
into and water came out of much
earlier it was the diaper I wore
and the dirt thereof and my
mother hating me for it

Anne Sexton

#4. My role is almost a sight-gag. I have to be a woman to sing the lyrics "I am a man" to have it be a joke. I start the lyric in a male-register and a whole coloratura up into a soprano. And other points in the show ... like the guy who likes to be treated like a baby and wear a diaper!

Max Von Essen

#5. What passes for news is just morbid speculation or cartoonish screaming, followed by diaper commercials.

Karen Russell

#6. I learned how to change a cloth diaper on a raccoon. I was maybe 8 or 9.

Nikki Reed

#7. When you have kids, there's no such thing as quality time. There's just time. There's no, 'Ooh, his graduation's better than going to the mall.' It's all kind of equal. Changing her diaper and her winning a contest - it's all good.

Chris Rock

#8. Her diaper is soiled. A.J. has never changed a diaper in his life, though he is a modestly skilled gift wrapper. Back when Nic was alive, Island used to offer free gift wrap at Christmas, and he figures that diaper changing and gift-wrapping must be related proficiencies.

Gabrielle Zevin

#9. A diaper is as inspiring as a drink.

Rufus Wainwright

#10. I can change a No. 1 diaper in 30 seconds and a No. 2 in a minute.

John Tesh

#11. Why do otherwise sane, competent, strong men, men who can wrestle bears or raid corporations, shrink away in horror at the thought of washing a dish or changing a diaper?

Frank Pittman

#12. I photographed all kinds of sports - Formula 1, Formula Atlantic. And anybody who knows me knows that, from the day they invented video cameras, I used to lug them around when you had to carry the pack here and the big camera here, plus the diaper bag and a baby and the purse or whatever.

Christie Brinkley

#13. My parents had been involved in the labor movement; if we'd grown up in the city, we would have been red-diaper babies.

Holly Near

#14. The person who sat the kid down on the breadboard to cut off thier diaper with a huge knife was the most elderly person in the family, who was blind in one eye..and had the shakes ... of course the kids uncouncious, He's lost two pints of blood!

Eoin Colfer

#15. That dude's as guilty as a baby with a soggy diaper!

Noah Child

#16. baby's diaper is soiled, or it can be manually checked by inserting

Louis Borgenicht

#17. You will be at your best forever, Even now you have good moments. Occasional glimpses of your heavenly self. When you change your baby's diaper, forgive your boss's temper, tolerate your spouse's moodiness, you display traces of saintliness.

Max Lucado

#18. For me, makeup is about being your best self. If I wake up in a foul mood and have to deal with temper tantrums and an exploding diaper
I know taking 10 minutes to get my game face on will reset my stress levels. It's a chance to check in and remind myself
you got this.

Jessica Alba

#19. How's the world treating you this morning?'
'Like a baby treats a diaper.

Biyi Bandele-Thomas

#20. I wish I knew what you were talking about," she returned. "Where's
the pin?"
"Pin?"
"Yes. Pin. To fasten the diaper. The kid can't hold the thing up with
two hands.

Emma Goldrick

#21. I cannot worship the hippie, diaper, halo Christ because I cannot worship a guy I can beat up.

Mark Driscoll

#22. Diaper backwards spells repaid. Think about it.

Marshall McLuhan

#23. Vidal gives the impression of believing that the entire heterosexual edifice - registry offices, 'Romeo and Juliet,' the disposable diaper - is just a sorry story of self-hypnosis and mass hysteria: a hoax, a racket, or sheer propaganda.

Martin Amis

#24. Dogs - putting the lie to the age-old saying, I could never love anyone who ate a diaper.

Dana Gould

#25. My handbag turned into a diaper bag for the chronically ill.

Tracey Berkowitz

#26. I autograph a lot of body parts of intoxicated people. And lots of shoes. And I signed a diaper once!

Carrie Underwood

#27. I once knew a chap who had a system of just hanging the baby on the clothes line to dry and he was greatly admired by his fellow citizens for having discovered a wonderful innovation on changing a diaper.

Damon Runyon

#28. It's funny, I used to do a character that was just a baby - just an adult baby. I would get up onstage and complain about adult stuff, but as a baby. I was in a diaper, and I would require hugs from the audience and reassurance and stuff.

John Gemberling

#29. There were times when it felt as though my children were annihilating me (truly you have not lived until you have changed one baby's diaper while another baby quietly vomits on your shin) and finally I came to the thought: all right, then, annihilate me, that other self was a fiction anyhow.

Sarah Ruhl

#30. Jim finished his beer and wondered how in the hell he'd found himself in the role of Cupid. Man, if those four lads even thought about getting him to wear the wings and a diaper while he nocked his arrow, he was so renegotiating his employee contract. And not with words.

J.R. Ward

#31. Ed Cray ruined this class the way an infant with dysentery ruins a diaper. Actually, that's not fair to the infant; the kid has no idea what he's doing.

Bryan Bishop

#32. When I start getting old, I'm going to start ending my prayers like, "Lord, it'd be a good day to die." I don't wanna be 130 years old with a diaper on, all my friends dead and gone. I wanna get to heaven, come get me!

Suge Knight

#33. I sank into the chair and checked to see if the charge nurse could see me - not if I didn't lean out too far. The night was looking up! Two patients who ought to sleep all night long, and an Internet connection. How lucky was I? Pretty damn lucky, at least until someone needed a diaper change.

Cassie Alexander

#34. Found a shaman in a diaper with a poppy pot. When I asked if he was cold, he said just think hot.

Jimmy Buffett

#35. You're pretty sexy when you're domestic." I told him, running a hand up the back of his thigh.
"If you think this is hot, you should see me change a diaper."
"I have, actually: why do you think I married you? That and your accent. Oh and your giant penis.

Christina Lauren

#36. I was pissin' Vince McMahon off when the red on the back of your neck was diaper rash!

Roddy Piper