Top 29 Wittiest Quotes
#1. Tis never for their wisdom that one loves the wisest, or for their wit that one loves the wittiest; 'tis for benevolence and virtue and honest fondness one loves people.
Hester Lynch Piozzi
#2. I have a fantastic husband. Here's the honeymoon part: I still think he's the funniest, wittiest, most clever man I've ever known.
Sarah Jessica Parker
#3. Beauty is something that is hard to debate. Every man thinks his ideal the best. But the wittiest woman rise to the top of this structure, conventional beauty often taking a back seat to a woman possessed of a clever tongue.
Anne Mallory
#4. Instead of working for the survival of the fittest, we should be working for the survival of the wittiest - then we can all die laughing.
Lily Tomlin
#5. If evolution was worth its salt, by now it should've evolved something better than survival of the fittest. I think a better idea would be survival of the wittiest.
Jane Wagner
#6. I love Oscar Wilde, still the wittiest writer of anyone, dead or living.
Christopher Buckley
#7. I usually say I write for the smartest, cleverest, wittiest audience I know, and that's me.
Harlan Ellison
#8. Thank your readers and the critics who praise you, and then ignore them. Write for the most intelligent, wittiest, wisest audience in the universe: Write to please yourself.
Harlan Ellison
#10. People like him had these weird thick skins. You insult them to their face and it whistles past their ears. They take irony as compliments and barely even notice your wittiest retorts. When
Niels Saunders
#11. The French are the wittiest, the most charming, and up to the present, at all events, the least musical race on Earth.
Stendhal
#12. Truth, when witty, is the wittiest of all things.
Augustus Hare
#13. My senior year of high school, I was voted 'Wittiest.' So, several years later, I decided to try my hand at writing humor to see if I could be witty enough to make some money.
Barbara Park
#15. The simple equations that generate the convoluted Mandelbrot fractal have been called the wittiest remarks ever made.
John Allen Paulos
#16. I remember when I posed as a customs officer so that I could meet Oscar Wilde. I said to him "Have you anything to declare?" He said "I have nothing to declare but my genius." I said "I'll put that down as nothing then shall I?" For I am the wittiest man on Earth.
Simon Munnery
#17. If evolution was worth its salt, it should've evolved something better than 'survival of the fittest.' I think a better idea would be 'survival of the wittiest.' At least, that way, creatures that didn't survive could've died laughing.
Lily Tomlin
#18. I own four copies of Robin WIlliams's Live on Broadway comedy special for HBO. One in Wilmington, one in L.A., one in my trailer, and one at my parents' house. I can watch it over and over again and it never gets old. He is the funniest, wittiest man on the planet!
Sophia Bush
#19. Advertising companies hire the very brightest, wittiest young people to write for them. Not one single sentence of it is worth repeating. Why? Because it wasn't meant.
Brenda Ueland
#20. With my father and sister being very depressed for most of their lives, it was incumbent on me to try to make them laugh, in this ridiculous way. They were the wittiest people I knew, but to get a smile from them was like winning the lottery.
Miriam Toews
#22. Metaphysical speculation is about as pointless as a discussion on the meaning of one's lungs. They're for breathing.
P.D. James
#23. It was a silly time to try to make a living out of words, but it was a silly time in general.
Steven Kotler
#25. He who cannot be a good follower cannot be a good leader.
Aristotle.
#27. One of the things that all kids are taught by their parents is this old "sticks and stones will break my bones, but words will never hurt me."
William J. Clinton
#28. Glories, like glow-worms, afar off shine bright, But looked to near, have neither heat nor light.
John Webster
#29. Do we really want to know how Michael Jackson makes his music? No. We want to understand why he needs the bones of the Elephant Man
and, until he tells us, it doesn't make too much difference whether or not he really is 'bad.
Frank Zappa
