Vampire Joke Quotes

#1. I suck," I said, after several minutes of uncomfortable silence into our drive.
"Is that some kind of vampire joke?" Trey
asked.

Richelle Mead

#2. When you're the opener, you're the guy getting the crowd warmed up. But when you're the headliner, you're the main dude. People come to see you, and you have to deliver. It's a cool position to be in.

Scotty McCreery

#3. It takes repetitive exposure over time to a new idea before that idea becomes a natural part of your way of thinking and being.

Jack Canfield

#4. Orwell wasn't right about where society was in 1984. We haven't turned into that sort of surveillance society. But that may be, at least in small part, because of his book. The notion that ubiquitous surveillance and state manipulation of the media is evil is deeply engrained in us.

Ramez Naam

#5. Play on the frontiers of technology. Be ahead of the tomorrows.

Dhirubhai Ambani

#6. What in the world is this abomination?"
Lissa, only slightly more tactful, asked, "Adrian, is this some kind of joke?

Richelle Mead

#7. Because sometimes words were so pitifully inadequate, and I knew that, but I had to try anyway.

Jenny Han

#8. The most important advance that the West has yet made is to develop a secularist moral tradition

Richard Rorty

#9. Not only am I putting music out there, I'm giving part of myself away.

Kina Grannis

#10. Don't worry, I won't bite. Well, at least not in the way you're afraid of. He chuckled at his own joke.
- Christian Ozera.

Richelle Mead

#11. The essence of her drives me fucking insane because there's nothing as sweet as the taste of your woman on your tongue. In this moment she is mine.

Mia Asher

#12. Oh, the cares of men! how much emptiness there is in human concerns!

Aulus Persius Flaccus

#13. Okay, brace yourselves for a really hilarious joke here: Being a vampire sucks.

Tamara Summers

#14. Every war involves a greater or less relapse into barbarism. War, indeed, in its details, is the essence of inhumanity. It dehumanizes. It may save the state, but it destroys the citizen.

Christian Nestell Bovee

#15. You two will have to stop grinning at each other like newlyweds," said Baltsaros, his dark eyes narrow. "Tom's a slave and you're my nephew. Act accordingly.

Bey Deckard

#16. I would kill to be on 'Dexter,' and I would double kill to be on 'True Blood.' I would pay them to let me come be a vampire or a vampire victim. No joke!

Callie Thorne

#17. It's a cruel joke of the universe that the one person who makes me come alive is himself dead. And evil. His very existence defies all moral laws and all known laws of physics.

Kitty Thomas

#18. you must set her free. If you try to control her, she will hate you for it and you will lose her.

Marti Talbott

#19. CUSTOMER: I'm always on night shift at work.
BOOKSELLER (jokingly): Is that why you're buying so many vampire novels?
CUSTOMER (seriously): You can never be too prepared.

Jen Campbell

#20. Christianity has aimed to deliver us from a life determined by nature, from the appetites as actuating us, and so has meant that man should not let himself be determined by appetites.

Max Stirner

#21. Lend's dad, two werewolves, and a vampire. It was like the setup to a bad joke or something. A doctor, two werewolves, and a vampire walk into a bar. "What'll you have?" the bartender asks. "We were thinking him," the vampire answers, eyeing the doctor.
Okay, jokes weren't my strong point.

Kiersten White