Valentine Humor Quotes

#1. Information is not like money or any other commodity. The cracks that it can slip through are almost infinitely small, and it can be duplicated at almost zero cost. Soon information will be like air, like the weather, and as easy to control.

David Brin

#2. I can remember the day I decided I would retire from competitive athletics as vividly as if it were yesterday.

Sebastian Coe

#3. Consider it a race to see who kills you first,
Daylighter-Valentine, the other Downworlders, or the Clave.

Cassandra Clare

#4. On Valentine's Day, the Spirit Club plastered the school with red streamersand pink balloons and red and pink hearts. It looked like Clifford the Big Red Dog ate a flock of flamigoes and then barfed his guts up.

Carolyn Mackler

#5. At times Valentine wasn't sure whether he kept Matthews about because of his supreme unctuousness or because he had half a suspicion the valet was trying to kill him.

Suzanne Enoch

#6. What makes you think that Valentine's change of plans had anything to do with your brother?"
"Because only Jace can piss someone off that much.

Cassandra Clare

#7. A demonic reaper asked to be my valentine and then killed his crazy ex-girlfriend to save my life. Tomorrow I was starting up antipsychotic meds.

Courtney Allison Moulton

#8. I have a suggestion," said Valentine to Luke, in a surprisingly even tone.
"Let me guess," said Luke. "It's 'Don't kill me,' isn't it?

Cassandra Clare

#9. I personally don't care for abstract art. I have always felt, 'To each his own.' There's art out there for everybody.

Howard Terpning

#10. Valentine's day without your love is like a year without the Internet.

Santosh Kalwar

#11. I found the right (Valentine) card to send her. On the cover there were hearts, and it said, "Here's hoping you'll soon have something big and strong around the house to open those tight jar lids." Inside was a picture of a pipe wrench.

Barbara Kingsolver

#12. It was hidden inside another book. One Valentine was unlikely to ever open." Magnus smiled crookedly. "Simple Recipes for Housewives. No one can say your mother didn't have a sense of humor.

Cassandra Clare

#13. I would have to break the ice with a warm smile that would melt her heart.

Tai

#14. What's on the inside, beneath that sugar? Is it a bug? Is it a booger?

Elle Valentine

#15. You trump Valentine's Day chocolates.

Gail McHugh

#16. Writers must ... take care of the sensibility that houses the possibility of poems.

Mary Oliver

#17. Teach you children poetry; it opens the mind, lends grace to wisdom and makes the heroic virtues hereditary.

Walter Scott

#18. So I'm delighted to open up a bit about these particular details, in honor of Valentine's Day (when every balding, chubby, and short actuary wants people - especially the babes out there - to know about his studly past"
From: "My Best Valentine's Day.Ever: a Short Story

Zack Love

#19. There is a popular saying in Japan that goes "Tada yori takai mono wa nai," meaning: "Nothing is more costly than something given free of charge." THE UNSPOKEN WAY, MICHIHIRO MATSUMOTO, 1988

Robert Greene

#20. To define knowledge as merely empirical is to limit one's ability to know; it enfeebles one's ability to feel and think.

Wendell Berry

#21. Your never over the hill to find true love because sometimes, that's where it is

Benny Bellamacina

#22. You're Valentine's son. I'm sure you're the one the Queen really wants to see. Besides, you're charming. Maybe not at the moment.

Cassandra Clare

#23. Groundhog found fog. New snows and blue toes. Fine and dandy for Valentine candy. Snow spittin'; if you're not mitten-smitten, you'll be frostbitten! By jing-y feels spring-y.

Old Farmer's Almanac

#24. Here comes Johnny!

Jack Nicholson

#25. Jace was very pale, with hectic spots like fever on his cheekbones. But it was Valentine. I saw him. In fact, he had the Sword with him when he came down to the cells and taunted me through the bars. It was like a bad movie, except he didn't actually twirl his mustache.

Cassandra Clare

#26. Poor boys are easier than middle-class or rich ones. Boys who've been busted are easier than boys who have not. Southern boys are easier than Northern boys. Marines are easier than Masturbation.

John Valentine

#27. On a per capita basis, Switzerland has more firearms than just about any other country, and yet it is one of the safest places in the world. In other words, guns do not cause crime.

Steven D. Levitt

#28. So you don't have to take us too seriously; I mean, we're already intimidating enough on stage.

Ice-T

#29. When it comes to our precious poor children of all colors, maybe disproportionally in percentage black and white and red, but all colors, yellow as well as white, we need to push toward integrated schools.

Cornel West

#30. 'Lost' fans were fantastic fans. I've said this before, but they were rabid, and they questioned everything - they were merciless, but I loved them for that.

Henry Ian Cusick

#31. The words were pulled from her, agonizing, like a disembowelment.

Dawn Jayne

#32. Did you send candy and flowers on Valentine's Day, Wells? It's okay, you know. He was a saint.

Richard Kadrey

#33. Unlikely things to see in a Valentine's card - "I may be dyslexic but that doesn't mean I don't vole you."

Russell Howard

#34. Well, why did you kill Jeremiah? And don't bother feeding me some story about how you just happened to wander along after he spontaneously died. I know you did this.

Cassandra Clare