Tip Your Waitress Quotes

#1. Watching you guys trying to be friends is like watching porn with no penetration. Really hot, but no climax.

Kennedy Ryan

#2. Do not the most moving moments of our lives find us without words?

Marcel Marceau

#3. I too tried to look at matter from a more generous perspective: I didn't succeed. but now I've gained courage; I've reached the depths and discovered that there is light at the bottom.

Paulo Coelho

#4. Everyone would wonder, 'What's he doing with her?' And then you'd say, 'Hmm, good question,' and you'd dump me. That wouldn't be nice.

Marni Bates

#5. They're (kids) so... innocent. Except that they're not. They know exactly what they want, and they don't stop till they get it.

Gregory David Roberts

#6. My stand-up has always been very character-based. I'm not really the kind of person that's like, 'Hey, here's what's on my mind! Tip your waitress!' I would create the jokes based on the character I was playing. It was always a performance-based thing for me.

Mary Lynn Rajskub

#7. I really haven't seen The Report in a long time. I don't have a copy, but I'll have to see it again. I think it would be good to put both these men next to each other.

Abbas Kiarostami

#8. Look, I realize both of you could happily strangle each other across the table, but I don't think that's the most effective use of our time, and frankly, I don't think I have enough money to tip the waitress for that kind of clean-up. And look, here's lunch. Let's eat that instead of eachother.

Maggie Stiefvater

#9. I know Bret Easton Ellis has said he has some amount of empathy for every character he has written about, though, so maybe I am similar to him in terms of that. I'm not sure what he thinks exactly.

Tao Lin

#10. A wrong doesn't become a right just because it all ends well.

Dannika Dark

#11. All I ask is that you tip your waiters and waitresses. We have to turn this situation around.

Jay Leno

#12. My ex-wife, she really didn't like the material that I did. And that's something I regret, that I wasn't more careful about making sure that she was O.K. with it. I just sort of didn't ask. So that's how that goes.

Louis C.K.