Thief Humor Quotes

#1. It's good to leave your room super-messy when you're away. Whoever tries to break into your room will thought it has already been ransacked.

Douglas Adams

#2. Everything is about balance. You can't work, work, work, work without any play.

Janelle Monae

#3. Don't let Satan beat you with lies and don't let him keep you from your family now.

Susette Williams

#4. Anxiously, he touched the lump on his head again, then felt his injured leg, groaning. "The whole affair is a mystery to me," he said. "Who would want to steal anything from me?"
"Perhaps a thief ... ?" ventured Julius.

Henry Winterfeld

#5. I'm Kieran. You must be a hell of a thief because you stole my heart from across the room,

Jayde Scott

#6. I'm the best kind of thief, the kind that leaves behind items equal in value to those he's stolen.

Holly Black

#7. Disciplined governments do not engage in the economic equivalent of binge eating followed by crash dieting.

Peter Blair Henry

#8. Our food is safer and our diets are more diverse than ever before; production methods are becoming increasingly sustainable, clean and efficient; and we are constantly becoming better at protecting biodiversity.

Louise Fresco

#9. Your topsoil's a disaster area - it's starved for nitrogen, it's been fertilized for years by the criminally insane, and whatever thief put in your irrigation system ought to be flogged through the fleet.

Peter S. Beagle

#10. A dream in the night is but a story trying to escape.

Chad B. Hanson

#11. Now you are thinking like a thief. Fewer guns and more exits. We'll cure your cowboy ways yet. (Vidocq)

Richard Kadrey

#12. When reggae was introduced to the world, it was a voice of the oppressed, a music with integrity that you can enjoy holistically. Throughout the years, what has become commercial kind of strayed from the integrity.

Stephen Marley

#13. It could have been a thief or a murderer. I considered crying out. A thief would run away, but a murderer would murder me. On the other hand, the murderer would probably murder me if I didn't too. That was his whole thing.

Yahtzee Croshaw

#14. Within the hour, Abraham Ravenwood was denounced as the Devil, a cheat, a scoundrel, a no-goodnik, and a thief.

Kami Garcia

#15. Although the photographer and the art thief were close friends, neither had ever taken the other's picture.

George Carlin

#16. So it happened at last: I was about to become a thief, a cheap milk-stealer. Here was your lash-in-the-pen genius, your one story-writer: a thief.

John Fante

#17. We can demonstrate, by our own example, how E.U. freedoms, including the freedom of nationals of other E.U. countries to come and work here, has enabled us to expand our economy.

John Bruton

#18. When people try to take [smoking] away from me I say, 'hey, I stopped everything else.' But, I have to battle that one, too.

Matthew Perry

#19. It was here in Big Sur that I first learned to say 'amen.'

Henry Miller

#20. Everybody kind of understands, Oh yeah you take drugs and it does something to your brain and then you can't stop. It's easier to describe that shame, that horrible feeling of not being able to control your own life.

Aimee Mann

#21. The thief, as will become apparent, was a special type of thief. This thief was an artist of theft. Other thieves merely stole everything that was not nailed down, but this thief stole the nails as well.

Terry Pratchett

#22. Chiron looked surprised. I thought that would be obvious enough. The entrance to the Underworld is in Los Angeles.

Rick Riordan

#23. A democracy is more than a form of government; it is primarily a mode of associated living, of conjoint communicated experience.

John Dewey

#24. I had a dream about you last night... in it, I tried to sell a squirrel a deposit box to store his nuts in. He stole my cashews in the complimentary snack basket.

Marshall Ramsay

#25. But, you're just a girl!" Ben said, his eyes widening with suprise and indignation.

The green eyes glanced downwards and before he could move, Ben felt a sharp point pricking at his throat.

"No, not just a girl..." the thief answered softly, "a girl with a knife!

Richard Denning

#26. If I hurt someone, if I were to accidentally poke someone's eye out, I would laugh. And then I'd say, 'I'm sorry, I really do feel bad,' but then I'm on the floor rolling.

Rachel McAdams

#27. One portion of the lakefront, named Burnham Park in his honor, contains Soldier Field and the Field Museum, which he designed.

Erik Larson

#28. Try to be polite."
"I'm always polite."
"You're always eyeing people's valuables. That's hardly polite.

Jodi Meadows

#29. They're going to leave me. All I wanted to do was lie in the dry prickly grass with my feet in a ditch forever. I could be a convenient sort of milemarker, I thought. Get to the thief and you know you are halfway to Methana. Where ever Methana might be.

Megan Whalen Turner

#30. Yes, you'd make a great partner for him. What with the embezzling and the adultery and the drinking. That's what every man wants in a wife - a vaguely alcoholic, fornicating thief.

Eleanor Brown