There Once Was A Man Quotes

#1. There once was a man who was sore
'Cuz his wife wouldn't open the door.
Celibacy
is just not for me
Let me in, you cock-teasing whore.

Jake Wizner

#2. There once was a man from Des Moines
Whose wife was always annoyed
He stepped in the kitchen
She started her bitchin'
Now that fucking cunt is dead.

Frances Winkler

#3. There once was a man name Barack,
Whose re-election came as a shock.
He raised the taxes I pay,
And then turned marriage gay.
And now he's coming after your glock.

Stephen Colbert

#4. There once was a man called Rousseau who wrote a book containing nothing but ideas. The second edition was bound in the skins of those who laughed at the first.

Benjamin Wiker

#5. I have seen something of this world," she said over the trays, "and there are but two sorts of women in it
those who take the strength out of a man, and those who put it back. Once I was that one, and now I am this.

Rudyard Kipling

#6. You showed mercy, Kaz. You were the better man."
There she went again, seeking decency when there was none to be had. "Inej, I could only kill Pekka's son once." He pushed the door open with his cane. "He can imagine his death a thousand times.

Leigh Bardugo

#7. He built the Empire, yet he was also the principal in its destruction. A great man, in so many ways, but great men have great faults ... One should learn the lessons of history. The mistakes of the past need only be made once ... Unless there are no other choices.

Joe Abercrombie

#8. I was like you once, long time ago. I believed in the dignity of man. Decency. Humanity. But I was lucky. I found out the truth early, boy.
And what is the truth, Stark?
It's all very simple. There's no such thing as the dignity of man. Man is a base, pathetic and vulgar animal.

Charles Grandison Finney

#9. The sorrow in the man's grey eyes was a chill and warmth at once. It was no pleasure to know that one's death was going to cause so much grief to others when there was nothing that could be done to avert it; but all the same, he was grateful that they cared.

Elorin Leighton Grey

#10. In Venice in the Middle Ages there was once a profession for a man called a codega
a fellow you hired to walk in front of you at night with a lit lantern, showing you the way, scaring off thieves and demons, bringing you confidence and protection through the dark streets.

Elizabeth Gilbert

#11. Elizabeth's doze had deepened into real sleep. Once she might have been young and beautiful. Once she might have been some young man's dream baby. Now she was snoring with her mostly toothless mouth pointed at the ceiling. If there's a God, I think He needs to try a little harder.

Stephen King

#12. There was once in man a true happiness of which there now remain to him only the mark and empty trace, which he in vain tries to fill from all his surroundings, seeking from things absent the help he does not obtain in things present.

Blaise Pascal

#13. what secular avocation on earth was there for a young man (whose friends could not get him an 'appointment') which was at once gentlemanly, lucrative, and to be followed without special knowledge?

George Eliot

#14. There was a man once who said that mothers carry the key of our souls with them all our lives. But you threw mine away

Cassandra Clare

#15. A certain man once lost a diamond cuff-link in the wide blue sea, and twenty years later, on the exact day, a Friday apparently, he was eating a large fish - but there was no diamond inside. That's what I like about coincidence.

Vladimir Nabokov

#16. I never met Barry Crump, but I was in an audience once for a play once. There was a drunken man at the back of the auditorium that was shouting during a performance of a one man play, and it turned out later on that was Barry Crump and he was in a state of inebriation.

Sam Neill

#17. He was so very large and so very gruff that he rather terrified her, but he always behaved correctly in public, and there was a lot to be said for a man who sported such well-tailored jackets
even if he did change into a ferocious beast once a month.

Gail Carriger

#18. There is a statement often repeated in the Church, and while it is not in one of the Standard Church Works, it is accepted as church doctrine, and this is: 'As man is, God once was; as God is, man may become.'

LeGrand Richards

#19. You only get married the first time once. There was the philosophy of a generation wrapped up in a tidy little sentence

Carrie Vaughn

#20. There once was an old man of Lyme who married three wives at a time when asked, 'Why a third?' he replied 'One's absurd! and bigamy, sir, is a crime!'

William Cosmo Monkhouse

#21. There will come a time when man is no longer concerned only with survival, when he will once more be curious as to who came before him, what life was like a thousand years ago, and he will seek out answers for a hundred years or so, but humans' curiosity has always driven them to find answers.

Julie Kagawa

#22. Someone once defined a theologian as a blind man in a dark room looking for a black cat that was not there.

Darius Brasher

#23. Once there was a man who was afraid of his shadow.
Then he met it.
Now he glows in the dark.

Ben Loory

#24. Once upon a time, there was a man as great as the gods ...
But even the great can tremble with fear.
Even the great can fall

Mary E. Pearson

#25. There once was a lady most beautiful
Spirited, if a little unusual
Her friends were few
But how did the man queue
But to all she gave a refusal

Sarah J. Maas

#26. Man was engaged in a mad scramble for power and knowledge, but nowhere is there any hint of what he meant to do with it once he had attained it. He

Clifford D. Simak

#27. There was no justice in the world, but he had known that ever since the death of his father. The spirits took no part in the lives of men once they had been born. A man either endured what the world sent his way, or was crushed.

Conn Iggulden

#28. There was once a young man who wished to gain his Heart's Desire.

Neil Gaiman

#29. Once a man criticized my desire for knowledge by saying that it was not fitting for a woman to possess learning because there was so little of it. I replied that it was even less fitting for a man to possess ignorance because there was so much of it.

Christine De Pizan

#30. My dad was a longshoreman in the Port of Miami. Tough job. I worked down there in the summer once. One day. Never again. My dad was a no-nonsense guy. As a kid, I hated his rules, but as a man, I understand what he was teaching. He taught me you have to work hard for everything you get.

Nick Ferguson

#31. Though it might be nice to imagine there once was a time when man lived in harmony with nature, it's not clear that he ever really did.

Elizabeth Kolbert

#32. Once there was a man who filmed his vacation./He went flying down the river in his boat/with his video camera to his eye, making/a moving picture of the moving river/ ... [At the end of his vacation,]/With a flick of the switch, there it would be./But he would not be in it. He would never be in it.

Wendell Berry

#33. It is easy to find fault, if one has that disposition. There was once a man who, not being able to find any other fault with his coal, complained that there were too many prehistoric toads in it.

Mark Twain

#34. She remembered Fiona saying something once, there was nothing more attractive than a competent man. At the time she'd been a young girl, without true understanding, but now she agreed.

Lily Blackwood

#35. The spirits, they intoxicate me. I watched them infiltrate my soul. They try to say it's too late for me. Once I was promised absolution, there's only one solution for my sins. And I blame this world, for making a good man evil. Now I ain't getting into heaven, if the devil has his way.

Jon Bon Jovi

#36. A wise man of Old Earth had once claimed that science would destroy mankind, not through its weapons of mass destruction, but through finally proving that there was no god.

Graham McNeill

#37. I once believed man was different from other animals, but Yodok showed me that reality doesn't support this opinion. In the camp, there was no difference between man and beast, except maybe that a very hungry human was capable of stealing food from its little ones while an animal, perhaps, was not.

Kang Chol-Hwan

#38. Once there was a man and a woman. When they met sparks flew, meteors collided, asteroids turned cartwheels and atoms split. He loved her from here to eternity, she loved him to the moon and back. They were two peas in a pod, heads and tails and noughts and crosses.

Grace McCleen

#39. There was once a fiddler who played so beauitully that everybody danced. A deaf man who could not hear the music considered them all insane. Those who are with Jesus in suffering hear this music to which other men are deaf. They dance and do not care if they are considered insane.

Richard Wurmbrand

#40. Me and my old man went on a coach trip to Switzerland and Italy once and it was a whole hour further on there. Must be something to do with this Common Market. I don't hold with the Common Market and nor does Mr. Curtain. England's good enough for me.

Agatha Christie

#41. There was a man who I once knew,
for me there was no other.
The closer to loving me he grew,
the more he would grow further.
I tried to love him as his friend,
then to love him as his lover;
but he never loved me in the end
his heart was for another.

Lang Leav

#42. I suppose the biggest strain was that Hoodwink is a high-octane character and he's up there like all the time. Once he's on his journey there's no let up for the man, so I actually found it a massively exhausting job to keep that level up.

Andy Serkis

#43. I saw a man climb a mountain with no feet or hands and barely a stump for each arm and leg. At once I realized there was no excuse at all for me not to scale my own mountains.

Richelle E. Goodrich

#44. There was once a strange small man but there was a word shaker too.

Markus Zusak

#45. Once he has outgrown his youth, a man will rarely remain a prisoner to his insolence. He had thought it was the only way to behave; then he suddenly discovers that, even for a prince, there are such things as music, literature, not to speak of standing for the post of deputy.

Marcel Proust

#46. I'm not a believer, I call myself an atheist. It was man who invented God. I once wrote that there are 15 things I know about God, and one is that he is allergic to shellfish. There are far too many commandments and you really only need one: Do not hurt anybody.

Carl Reiner