The Raccoons Quotes

#1. I grew up in New Hampshire. My closest neighbor was a mile away. The deer and the raccoons were my friends. So I would spend time walking through the woods, looking for the most beautiful tropical thing that can survive the winter in the woods in New Hampshire.

Steven Tyler

#2. Why is love easy? I don't know. And the raccoons don't say.

Robert Fulghum

#3. I constantly watch 'The Simpsons' and an English cartoon called 'The Raccoons' and 'Gummi Bears.' I was obsessed with ninja films, and the 'Teenage Mutant Nina Turtles,' I used to love that as well.

Matt Smith

#4. Until you have experienced raccoons mating underneath your bedroom at three in the morning, you have missed one of life's sensational moments.

Robert Fulghum

#5. Let's put it this way: If a raccoon can carry a movie, then they believe maybe even a woman can.

Joss Whedon

#6. It's not strange seeing her now, even knowing the things I know. I thought maybe it would be, but it's not. To me, she's still just Charlie - lover of Skittles and bed bouncing and scandalous raccoons.

Victoria Scott

#7. They were going to shoot us for five hundred dollars," I said. "Wait." I turned to Limp. "Was that apiece?"

"To split," Limp said.

"Really?" I said.

Limp nodded. "We got some raccoons out of an attic for the same price.

Joe R. Lansdale

#8. To make a forty-inch fur coat it takes between thirty and two hundred chinchilla, or sixty mink, fifty sables, fifty muskrats, forty-five opossums, forty raccoons, thirty-five rabbits, twenty foxes, twenty otters, eighteen lynx, sixteen coyotes, fifteen beavers, or eight seals.

Karen Dawn

#9. They suggested that if you really want to hold a koala but can't, just get a furry pillowcase and fill it with lightly used cat litter. Or tie a bunch of sedated raccoons together. Or maybe hold a dead koala.

Jenny Lawson

#10. I'm not really scared of a lot of things. I'm scared of possums. And I'm scared of raccoons sometimes, it depends on how big it is - I'm scared of the smaller raccoons because the bigger ones are slower.

Vince Staples

#11. If tomorrow, ninety percent of the world's population started scooting around on its collective asses while wearing dead raccoons as hats, people who walked on two feet and were visibly raccoonless would be called "weird.

Johnny B. Truant

#12. I feel like during the night, a family of raccoons built a nest in my head and then got diarrhea there. I think this is called a hangover, but I can't be sure.

A.S. King

#13. Great. I'm with the hottest man I've ever known and raccoons have crawled through my hair and settled under my eyes.

Lisa Renee Jones

#14. I don't like raccoons. They look ... shifty, with their little burglar masks and everything. Also, they carry rabies. Can I catch rabies? Probably not. All the same, it sounds gruesome - and I think we all know that cute, fuzzy woodland creatures are not to be trusted on general principle.

Cherie Priest

#15. I'm so hungry, comrade! It has been days since we ate those two raccoons!'
'I know comrade. I'm even beginning to wish we had some of your homemade quiche!'
'Oh comrade! Do you mean it?'
'Hey
Hey! None of that! If you ever tell anyone I said that, I'll deny it!

Jeff Smith

#16. Cookie had taken her daughter amber to school then walked the thirty-something feet to work earlier. Our business was on the second floor of Calamity's, my dad's bar, which sat right in front of our apartment building. The short commute was nice and rarely invloved rabid raccoons.

Darynda Jones

#17. I'd been told, or warned, that when you paint one room, not only will it look nice, but it will also make the room next to it look as if raccoons have been living in it for the past decade.

Christopher Buckley

#18. I'd gone heavy on the black eye makeup until raccoons and I could pass for cousins.

Jeaniene Frost

#19. We have raccoons in New York. They can get in anywhere. They can open doors. I read online that they even know how to use keys.'
'I don't like snakes. Snakes don't need keys

Cassandra Clare

#20. You are a major dimwit. Is your brain made out of jello, you spineless twit? A leaf? What do you think I am, one of those magical raccoons? I'm a concept, get it? Con-cept! Concepts and raccoons aren't exactly the same, now are they? What a dumb thing to say ...

Haruki Murakami

#21. Nothing is more important than saving ... the Lions, Tigers, Giraffes, Elephants, Froggies, Turtles, Apes, Raccoons, Beetles, Ants, Sharks, Bears, and, of course, the Squirrels. The humans? The planet does not need humans.

James Lee

#22. We have a show tonight. I've never missed a show. Not even the time I had that virus they kept saying only raccoons get.

LIZ

#23. Jason had joked that dust bunnies under the bed were pets he didn't mind keeping: they never whined for food and didn't require a litter box. They also didn't wake you up at night by barking at passing raccoons.

Erik Bundy

#24. Honestly, it was pretty challenging working with a talking raccoon.

Randy Quaid