The Office Christmas Quotes

#1. I remember one review of The Office Christmas Special that compared it unfavourably to Dickens. What? You're saying I'm not as good as the greatest storyteller ever. Boo! Boo! I think I can live with that.

Ricky Gervais

#2. I happened upon a memoir by a midlevel White House staffer, and he had been in the room that [Nixon's last] night [in office]. This guy's memoir told me what Nixon's last words were. And they were, on August 8, 1974, to the crew: "Have a Merry Christmas, fellas!" That was just so bizarre.

Harry Shearer

#3. If Madison had a gun, she'd shoot out the sound system pumping "Jingle Bells" through her office speakers. Instead, she bit off Rudolph's chocolate head and pointed a finger at the brightly colored, foil-wrapped Santa on her desk. "You're next, big guy.

Debbie Mason

#4. We've only been sitting here forty minutes. I'm never at the morning table less than an hour and a half. I do some of my finest plotting over breakfast coffee and raisin brioche.

Dean Koontz

#5. The post office in the city of Christmas, Florida, where thousands descend each year to get their holiday cards postmarked. It's the best tradition we got, so fuck it, I'm rodeo-riding this cultural mutation.

Tim Dorsey

#6. I love Christmas. Frosty the Snowman, peace on Earth and mangers, Salvation Army bell ringers and reindeer, the movie 'Meet Me in St. Louis,' office parties and cookies.

Mo Rocca

#7. I try to keep my feet on the ground. Even though I appreciate the fame and adoration, I remember once I used to pick cotton, and I felt like even then I was somebody. I have the same feet, hands and heart like everyone else. I'm just also blessed with a good voice.

Charley Pride

#8. Windows are as essential to office prestige as Christmas is to retailing.

Enid Nemy

#9. I spent 250 to 300 days of every year on the road. But in the end, I felt something was missing. I needed to be anchored so I could concentrate, so in 2000, I established a new methodology - the one I use today. I spent the week in my office and travelled every weekend, even at Christmas.

Hans Ulrich Obrist

#10. There's a lot of madness in New Zealand because it's a mean and isolated little country. Anyone who feels too much or radiates extremity gets very lonely.

Chris Kraus

#11. Christmas begins about the first of December with an office party and ends when you finally realize what you spent, around April fifteenth of the next year.

P. J. O'Rourke

#12. Better to fail at what you love than succeed at what you hate. People have strange ideas about success ... too much to do with money, not enough to do with joy.

Faith Sullivan

#13. What I don't like about office Christmas parties is looking for a job the next day.

Phyllis Diller

#14. Sometime you end with your god but usually the numbers were the best path. Knowing when to draw the line was the hardest skill you can master.

Evan Currie

#15. Seriously, isn't there enough holiday cheer around here? You all don't have to invade my office." I glared at my coworkers, decked out in their fancy Christmas finery, complete with Santa hats and jingly socks.

I should have been expecting this - it was a week before Christmas. -- Erica

Candice Gilmer

#16. I never thought about being a cop. I'm kind of sensitive. I don't know if I could handle that job. It's hard to go home every day and be able to still live your own life because some of the stuff you see really affects you.

Missy Peregrym

#17. I don't make demands. I don't tell you how it should be. I'll give you options, and it's up to you to select or throw 'em away. That should be the headline: If you're insecure, don't call.

Russell Crowe

#18. My mother says I was vaccinated with a phonograph needle. I love to talk. I just love to talk.

Jerry Hunt

#19. Food serves two parallel purposes: it nourishes and it helps you remember. Eating and storytelling are inseparable - the saltwater is also tears; the honey not only tastes sweet, but makes us think of sweetness; the matzo is the bread of our affliction.

Jonathan Safran Foer

#20. To keep believing in life, until you're sure of death, it's the way a detective should be. - Kogoro Mouri, Detective Conan

Gosho Aoyama

#21. Mail your packages early so the post office can lose them in time for Christmas.

Johnny Carson

#22. Crying. Expelling grief from the body in the form of salt water. What's its purpose? How did it evolve, and why are humans the only creatures on Earth that do it? Nora wonders how many years it takes to dry up that messy urge.

Isaac Marion

#23. The Post Office is very careful nowadays. When they get a package marked "Fragile," they throw it underhand.

Milton Berle

#24. It is the custom to sneer at the modern apartment-house, television, big-city Christmas, with its commercial taint ... office parties, artificial ... Christmas trees ... but future generations in search of their lost Christmases may well remember its innocence; yes, and its beauty, too.

Paul Gallico

#25. Disappointment and adversity can be catalysts for greatness. There's something particularly exciting about being the hunter, as opposed to the hunted. And that can make for powerful energy.

Cathy Freeman