Top 42 Stand Ups Quotes
#1. We love wealth, and we hate poor people. I know people who work in TV news who have actually been told to do stand-ups rather than put interviews with poor people on the air. We physically don't want to look at them.
Matt Taibbi
#2. I do have a lot of female friends who are stand-ups and also women who are actresses and also happen to have an act.
Kate Flannery
#3. As far as stand-ups go, I always loved Richard Pryor, Chris Rock, and Sinbad. Basically, I love black comedians because they're the funniest. I wish I were a black comedian, actually.
Adam DeVine
#4. I've got too much respect for stand-ups to call myself one.
Johnny Vegas
#5. I grew up watching stand-ups and thought it was so entertaining and unique - you didn't see that as a job description anywhere.
Kevin Nealon
#6. Most stand-ups, once they have done it, think of it as their default job. I'm pretty sure Jon Stewart still feels that way now. You are a stand-up first; other things come and go.
John Oliver
#7. Part of the kick of making people laugh was doing something different. We were a rare breed - spotting one of us was like pinning a space alien, or abdominal snowman. There were maybe a hundred stand-ups in the whole country when I was doing it.
Lenny Bruce
#8. I don't know, I find that honestly, the stand-up thing in some ways is a little bit of a cliche to carry around, because people don't consider stand-ups really actors.
Jim Gaffigan
#9. I'm really more prolific than most stand-ups. My act changes. I do fold in new experiences, new observations, whatever you want to call it.
Paula Poundstone
#10. All the truly great stand-ups say, 'I go onstage, and I work on jokes. The inspiration will happen while I'm doing my work.' To me, in the end, the surest thing is work.
Patton Oswalt
#11. I think comics in New York are interested in being comics. And there're comics in L.A. who are touring comics, who are certainly more interested in stand-up, but a lot of L.A. stand-ups are really looking to do something else.
Lewis Black
#12. Even though I do a more traditional type of being funny on television, I still know a lot of comedians and stand-ups and improv actors.
Busy Philipps
#13. Stand-ups are always good to see on YouTube. There's a guy named Mike Head who lives in Cleveland. He's great. He's an African-American stand-up.
Allison Jones
#15. I don't know why, but people tend to look at stand-ups and think they can act, which actually isn't the case. But never mind. I thought: if that's the area where they're looking, then that's the area where I'll put myself - even as a means to an end. And it was.
Catherine Tate
#16. I cannot believe that in all the years that there have been female stand-ups, there has never been a show just for them.
Kate Flannery
#17. I have a suspicion that a lot of artists are trying to get a laugh but, unlike stand-ups, they don't get an immediate response from their audience; a laugh is a rare thing in a gallery.
Arthur Smith
#18. The comics I've talked to have varied styles as stand-ups, but the throughline is that it's the most intense thing they've ever done.
Scott Raab
#19. What crushed my soul was hanging out with bitter, desperate comics backstage. They're a different breed than the bitter yet eager psyches in the wings of an improv theatre. Struggling stand-ups have externalized self-loathing into an art form. They're a hunching, quaking, unshaven lot.
Scott Adsit
#20. There is so much cross-pollination between the U.S. and Britain in terms of comedians. British TV comedies work well in the U.S. American stand-ups make it big in Britain.
John Oliver
#21. You are not any different. You can do anything you want. So many times, I've been asked what I think of women stand-ups. If you actually look around, there are so many female comedians starring in the biggest TV shows.
Lilly Singh
#22. The thing about stand-ups is you can't really get good unless you're failing in front of a large number of people. That makes stand-up comedy unique: you need a tremendous amount of reserve within you to take the rejection from the audience, and without it, you can't do anything.
David Steinberg
#23. My audience is a diehard audience. They are dedicated. My audience always follows me and sticks with me. They're the reason I'm still here - in the films and in stand-ups.
Martin Lawrence
#24. For me [in my stand-ups] I do what is from the heart. I do what I relate to, what I can talk about, things that I can define. I don't try to talk about things just because they might be a popular subject. I talk about things I know about.
Martin Lawrence
#25. In the advance of civilization, it is new knowledge which paves the way, and the pavement is eternal.
Willis R. Whitney
#26. The whole background of 'Avian' is rain. I was just playing with textures and realizing you can touch music.
Mac Miller
#28. The eternal principle, which never was born, never will die: it is in all things: it is in you now. You are the wave on the face of the ocean. When the wave is gone, is the water gone? Has anything happened? Nothing has happened. It is a play, a game, a dance.
Joseph Campbell
#29. He wants you to smile and smell sweet and be his lady love. He wants to hear you recite all your pretty little words the way the septa taught you. He wants you to love him ... and fear him.
George R R Martin
#30. There's nothing wrong with being a terrorist, as long as you win. Then you write history.
Paul Watson
#31. Know what 'celebrity' is kid? Being paid to bullshit the rest of your natural life.
Joyce Carol Oates
#32. Divided we stand,' Simon thought, his stubborn biceps refusing to bulge. 'United we do push-ups.
Cassandra Clare
#33. He made her miserable!" Benedict protested. "As her brothers, it's our duty to
"
"Respect her intelligence enough to let her solve her own problems," Violet snapped.
Julia Quinn
#34. Grace is that ability; to face adversity and be at ease, to enter into the suffering world and help others without losing yourself in the process. It is to be true to your most essential nature, and produce something good from that. To have grace is as close as we may come to perfection.
Christopher Daniel Mechling
#35. This administration is going to be cussed and discussed for years to come.
Harry S. Truman
#36. The coaches today should realize that they are, after all, working with children who sometimes have to stand up to physical and moral stresses which not even all grown-ups could bear.
Elena Mukhina
#37. Is it every man and woman's curse to want it all and only get ten percent of it? Or do we ask too much?
Lorna Landvik
#38. Everybody's career has ups and downs. I like to take chances; I don't like to stand still. And I don't give a damn what the market is interested in; I want to try things.
Alan Arkin
#39. If you threw your shoe to someone's head, you spread your own stench." ~ Angelica Hopes, If I Could Tell You
Angelica Hopes
#40. I had waited for the tears to stop before I called him, waited until my whole body was empty and dry, hard as a fist. But now I felt the sadness rising again in my chest.
Aryn Kyle
#41. You can't make a revolutionary omelet without breaking heads.
Norman Spinrad
#42. We want to enable Start-Ups and make India no 1 in this field. Start-Up India and Stand-Up India!
Narendra Modi
