Top 69 Kevin Nealon Quotes
#1. I learned how to draw from being bored in school. I would doodle on the margins of my paper.
Kevin Nealon
#2. When you discover that you are going to have a child, it stirs up memories of your own childhood.
Kevin Nealon
#3. I'm probably more of a stand-up comedian than an actor.
Kevin Nealon
#4. The funny thing about commercials to me is that many of them now don't even mention the product until the very end. You don't really know what the commercial is all about. They're kind of like little movies, like shorts, and that's why I think they're so entertaining.
Kevin Nealon
#5. When I began doing stand-up, it took me a long time to get an hour's worth of material together.
Kevin Nealon
#6. I'm on a strict running program. I started yesterday. I've only missed one day so far.
Kevin Nealon
#7. I am whelmed, and not overly whelmed, just whelmed about a lot of facets in life - just how fragile life is and the different challenges you have in life, phobias about things.
Kevin Nealon
#8. I really like to read when I'm eating - 'The New York Times' or the 'Wall Street Journal,' paper version.
Kevin Nealon
#9. It's tough getting older. You start falling apart, you know? My gums are starting to recede now. You can't tell tonight, though, 'cause I comb them forward.
Kevin Nealon
#10. When I would see my friends with their kids, I was envious that you can use children to get out of just about anything. If you don't feel like going to a dinner party, you could say, 'My kid's sick. I can't make it.' Who's gonna argue with you?
Kevin Nealon
#11. The Outer Limits was one of those shows I grew up watching - that and The Twilight Zone.
Kevin Nealon
#12. The ethical argument regarding abortion hinges on the question of when life begins. Some believe life begins at forty.
Kevin Nealon
#13. I went to school for marketing and advertising, so I have a special interest in good and funny commercials and why they work and why they're funny - which is one of the reasons I, like many people, like watching the Super Bowl, besides the game.
Kevin Nealon
#14. Never wear a red t-shirt to Target. I enjoy helping people, but not every two minutes.
Kevin Nealon
#15. A special validates you as a stand-up by documenting your material.
Kevin Nealon
#16. It's kind of fun when you're playing characters that aren't quite on the up and up and people still like you.
Kevin Nealon
#17. You really have to be ambitious and have that drive to really become well known and successful as a standup.
Kevin Nealon
#18. I have a severe addiction to 'Angry Birds.' I always tell myself, 'One more game ... ' But then there's always another and another and another.
Kevin Nealon
#19. Don't play dead with a vulture. That's exactly what they want.
Kevin Nealon
#20. As an actor, you're always reading scripts looking for something good.
Kevin Nealon
#21. If you want a transcript of tonight's program, get a pen and write down everything I said.
Kevin Nealon
#22. I think Little Nicky was a divergence from the films Adam Sandler was used to doing, and he was taking a risk. I admire him for doing that.
Kevin Nealon
#23. There's so many vegetarian foods now that are available at the market . The same with drive-throughs. Now, a lot of them serve veggie burgers just like the restaurants are doing. So, it's really very easy.
Kevin Nealon
#24. I enjoyed living in New York City, I liked the premise of the show [ Saturday Night Live], I liked working with a different host every week and different musicians. I always thought, "This is great. I never expected to get this in the first place, so I'm just happy being here."
Kevin Nealon
#25. As a comedian, you're kind of like a blues musician; you have to live a little bit.
Kevin Nealon
#26. When I was very young, I didn't really write my own material. I just memorized other peoples' jokes. Established comics, like Stanley Myron Handelman and people like that. And then, for every comic, you develop your own style after a while.
Kevin Nealon
#28. Saturday Night Live was a show that I never thought I would be on, because I didn't do sketch comedy and I didn't do impressions. I was a stand-up.
Kevin Nealon
#29. I tried to read the Bible, I did, but it always felt like a much less awesome Lord of the Rings.
Kevin Nealon
#30. I really enjoyed working on the 2009 film, 'Aliens in the Attic,' because it was shot in New Zealand and I got to visit there for the first time.
Kevin Nealon
#31. When a show has been on for so long, you lose fans, you gain fans. I remember this from 'Saturday Night Live.'
Kevin Nealon
#32. I think the education system is great just the way it is. There's kids in my neighborhood in Los Angeles, seven years old, that can already speak fluent Spanish.
Kevin Nealon
#33. I loved working on 'Happy Gilmore' because I love to travel to new places and we got to go to British Columbia. Any Adam Sandler film is fun to work on because it is a reunion of the boys club of guys that have worked together in the past.
Kevin Nealon
#34. I don't smoke pot or cigarettes, so inhaling smoke as a non-smoker - it doesn't matter what it is, it's going to make you lightheaded.
Kevin Nealon
#35. I never really got into marketing. I went to school for it, but never pursued it once I got out. Instead, I went to Europe for about two months, just traveling around in youth hostels and Eurail trains with my friends.
Kevin Nealon
#36. "Bruce" was an Eddie Murphy film, so there was a whole different vibe, working on that film, as opposed to working on a [Adam] Sandler film, which I'd done a few of. First of all, there were tons of kids running around. I'm surprised I ever had a kid after doing that film.
Kevin Nealon
#37. Basically, I'm a people pleaser who has a knack for disappointing.
Kevin Nealon
#38. I do have a place in my heart for animal shelters because the job they have is impossible - so many animals that need to euthanized because don't have homes for them.
Kevin Nealon
#39. Any time you do an Adam Sandler film, it's kind of like a boys' club, because you're hanging out and there are guitars around, and basketballs and footballs and electric bikes and scooters and different people dropping by.
Kevin Nealon
#40. A novel is too much of a commitment. I tend to peruse Twitter - I check to see if I had any mentions and read the latest messages.
Kevin Nealon
#42. I like to stuff myself at Thanksgiving, not turkeys.
Kevin Nealon
#43. Every homeless puppy and kitten was born to parents who weren't spayed or neutered. I'm proud to support PETA's work to prevent animal homelessness.
Kevin Nealon
#44. I don't mind seeing two guys kissing, you know, as long as they're clean-shaven.
Kevin Nealon
#45. Curb Your Enthusiasm, is not so much about Hollywood. It's more about Larry's weaknesses.
Kevin Nealon
#46. I remember the first date I ever went out on. It was in high school. Her name was Marguerite. She was kind of a heavyset girl ... I took her out on one date. We went out for dinner and a movie and a dinner.
Kevin Nealon
#47. It is a great rush to come up with a joke that gets a good response from the audience. It's gold!
Kevin Nealon
#48. I was never really an impressionist. If there was somebody within my range, maybe I could work on it and do a little exaggeration of them - which I think is really the way to do an impression.
Kevin Nealon
#49. It seems like all the sitcoms on now, the families are kind of dysfunctional.
Kevin Nealon
#50. I play a lot of sports. I'm not real good at any of them. I'm above adequate.
Kevin Nealon
#51. I've noticed a surge when I go out somewhere, or if I'm doing stand-up.
Kevin Nealon
#52. Standup really is a young man's game, a single young man's game. Even when I was younger, when I wasn't single, it was hard to be on the road because you go through relationships because your girlfriend kinda got tired of you being gone.
Kevin Nealon
#53. I think people really appreciate clever commercials, as do I. I think they're very entertaining. You just have to wade through all the garbage. That's one of the reasons people watch the Super Bowl. A lot of them watch it to see the commercials and not the actual game.
Kevin Nealon
#54. If people can't deal with their problems, they numb themselves a little bit.
Kevin Nealon
#55. They say that moving is one of the most stressful things in life. Death in the family is the second most stressful, and moving your dead spouse is the third.
Kevin Nealon
#56. I grew up watching stand-ups and thought it was so entertaining and unique - you didn't see that as a job description anywhere.
Kevin Nealon
#57. I'd been doing some light-beer commercials for Budweiser and Coors, and I was doing stand-up comedy. I wanted to get into the acting world, and my agent sent me on audition and they liked it.
Kevin Nealon
#58. I look back at 'Saturday Night Live' and I think, some people didn't like me doing 'Weekend Update.' Who cares? A lot of people did. When you're reaching that many people, you're not going to have everybody like you.
Kevin Nealon
#59. As you get older, subconsciously you start thinking about mortality and protecting your offspring. It opens up a whole new avenue of life experiences.
Kevin Nealon
#60. I have a wandering eye and a lazy eye so they cancel each other out. It's a push.
Kevin Nealon
#61. The hardest thing about moving to California from Connecticut was just missing my family. If I went back, it would be just because I was homesick.
Kevin Nealon
#62. Workers insist that they are not disgruntled. They are very gruntled.
Kevin Nealon
#63. I see the love in my child's eyes when he sees me, and I know it's gigantic. As an older person, I've been in love before, and I've loved, but this is really an immense, out-of-control-proportion amount of love that you can't even describe.
Kevin Nealon
#64. The good thing about Weeds now is, I get to play some dramatic parts in that as well.
Kevin Nealon
#65. It is unconscionable for children in our prosperous country, or anywhere for that matter, to go without food. I implore everyone to contact their local and state representatives to encourage action to end hunger.
Kevin Nealon
#66. I became a vegetarian after I became aware of factory farming and slaughterhouses and the torture and inhumane handling of all these animals.
Kevin Nealon
#67. Marriage is great. It'll calm you down - that and neutering.
Kevin Nealon
#68. When I first began doing TV pilots, my expectations were high. I didn't understand that world. So when 'Weeds' took off, I was so happy. Especially as I was just a guest star in the pilot. But once it got picked up, they made me a regular cast member.
Kevin Nealon
#69. Breaking News: Winds so strong in NYC The Statue of Liberty's gown just blew off!
Kevin Nealon
Famous Authors
Popular Topics
Scroll to Top
