Top 100 Quotes About Your Dog
#1. "I've done your dog. It's got nine eyes down the side, I made his head all square, 15 legs. What do you think of that?" "Fido looks a bit weird."
Eddie Izzard
#2. I learned something that day: there may be worse things than arriving somewhere with your dog and leaving without him, but there aren't many.
John Connolly
#3. Iowa's the worst. Iowa's just nothing, just flat as far as you can see. It's the only state in the country where you can stand on your front porch and actually watch your dog run away for three days.
Greg Fitzsimmons
#4. I adore dogs to the extent I think they are much more important than human beings. I like your dog much more than I like you.
David Feherty
#5. On walks, make sure that your dog is not in front of you, pulling you down the street. Instead, keep your dog to your side or behind you. This will also demonstrate to your dog that you are the alpha figure.
Cesar Millan
#6. All I did was offer to kill your dog, and the next thing I know I'm being judged.
Tom Upton
#7. Knowing how to use your voice so it makes sense to your dog, using words in a way your dog can understand, correcting him without creating fear, praising him properly, and doing it all at the proper time are critical skills to develop if your dog is to learn from you.
Brian Kilcommons
#8. New Rule: Stop leaving couches on the sidewalk. Besides being lazy and ugly, it's animal cruelty. You teach your dog not to pee on the couch, and then when you take him to the place he's supposed to pee, there's a couch.
Bill Maher
#9. Science is you! It's your head, it's your dog, it's your iPhone - it's the world. How do you see that as boring? If it's boring, it's because you're learning it from a textbook.
Mary Roach
#10. You're such a big liar you gotta get your neighbor to call your dog.
Garrison Keillor
#11. They say that a few minutes each day of petting your dog can raise your serotonin levels.
Neil S. Plakcy
#12. If you want to open a supermarket chain and put your face all around the globe, selling your baby and your dog, if it makes you happy, who am I to disagree, as the song goes. But it's not for me. I've always tried to keep my integrity and keep my autonomy.
Annie Lennox
#13. If you don't want your dog to have bad breath, do what I do: Pour a little Lavoris in the toilet.
Jay Leno
#14. Everyone should be happy... everyone deserves it... When you are happy... it's time your dog to leave you... it's a time when your dogs dies and enters somebody's else life.
Deyth Banger
#15. Understanding your dog and knowing how to control him, develop his potentials, and resolve behavior problems, emotional conflicts and frustrations are no less essential than love and respect.
Michael W. Fox
#16. I often think my boyfriend is going to leave me just from seeing how I talk to the dog. But you know, when you are talking to your dog, you are accessing this softer side of you. Everything else melts away.
Natasha Lyonne
#17. He is your friend, your partner, your defender, your dog. You are his life, his love, his leader. He will be yours, faithful and true, to the last beat of his heart. You owe it to him to be worthy of such devotion. - Anonymous
Kyra Sundance
#18. Rats! Sometimes it's very difficult being a dog ... Especially when it's raining. You're looking forward to a great breakfast ... When it arrives, you're full of joyful anticipation ... Then you see the water rise in your dog dish ... And you watch your pancakes float downstream!
Charles M. Schulz
#19. Never take hold of a dog's collar and pull him to where you want him to be, as this is a direct confrontation to a dog and can make a strong-minded dog want to be dominant and a gentle or sensitive dog may be made to feel submissive, neither of which you want in your dog. There
Barbara Sykes
#20. Chris: How do you know if a Frenchman has been in your backyard?
Teddy: Hey, I'm French, okay?
Chris: Your garbage cans are empty and your dog's pregnant.
[Chris and Gordie laugh]
Teddy: Didn't I just say I was French?
Stephen King
#21. Oh. I didn't know that." "So, you're naming your dog Feathers because ...
Catherine Ryan Hyde
#22. In most states, it's more difficult to get a license for your dog than it is to buy a big cat. Right now, there are more tigers in the state of Texas than in all of India.
Tippi Hedren
#23. Your dog thinks you're a god. Your cat thinks the dog's an asshole.
George Carlin
#24. If a girl gets sexual pleasure from riding a horse, does the horse suffer? If not, who cares? If you French kiss your dog and he or she thinks it's great, is it wrong? We believe all exploitation and abuse is wrong. If it isn't exploitation and abuse, it may not be wrong.
Ingrid Newkirk
#25. People feel poorly because they are nourished by foods you wouldn't feed to your dog and cat. The rich western diet is full of fat, sugar, cholesterol, salt, animal protein - all the wrong foods for people.
John A. McDougall
#27. Where's your dog?' I ask quickly. 'Dawn said you had a dog. Let's take the dog out.'
'There ain't no dog,' replies Janis.
Carla H. Krueger
#28. When I was 9 or 10, I had a ten-cent business: I would walk your dog for a dime, go to the store for a dime, empty your garbage for a dime - and then I could use the money to buy tricks at the magic store.
Lily Tomlin
#29. It is good to take a weekend and just you, or you and your dog, head out into the wilderness. Walk by yourself. Be by yourself. It will help you in your search for stillness and perfection.
Frederick Lenz
#30. Sitting back in the evening, stargazing and stroking your dog, is an infallible remedy.
Ralph Waldo Emerson
#31. How do you lose your brother ? You lose your grandfather, your distant uncle, your dog for Christ's sake. Not your brother. Especially brothers like mine.
Jolene Perry
#32. Always walk out the door ahead of your dog when leaving the house. This will show your dog who is in the leadership role.
Cesar Millan
#34. Ever wonder where you'd end up if you took your dog for a walk and never once pulled back on the leash?
Robert Breault
#35. (On being in a position of leadership) Even if it's your dog, you've got authority over somebody. Start treating him better.
Joyce Meyer
#36. One second you're walking your dog in the suburbs, and then you put on Adele, and it's like you're in a movie and you've just had your heart brutally broken." Margot
Jenny Han
#37. If your characters write your story, rather than you writing your characters, it's like your dog taking YOU for a walk. Don't let them control you. Take charge and train them to listen to their master.
Jessica Bell
#38. If you treat your feelings with as much love as you treat your dog or your cat or your child you'll feel as if you were living in heaven.
Geneen Roth
#39. Give your dog or cat respect, patience, understanding and love. And if you just change to one vegetarian day a week, that's a wonderful step that will save animal lives. It means you have chosen something kind instead of something cruel.
Ingrid Newkirk
#40. Poor, dear old Mack, he was ninety-eight per cent perfect. His two percent failing was that he had absolutely no idea of the value or the power of arbitration. He was the veteran of a hundred battles, and I never once could say to the other fellow, 'Your dog started it.
William S. Hart
#41. Heaven goes by favor. If it went by merit, you would stay out and your dog would go in.
Mark Twain
#42. Do you know my dog's name?
[ ... ]
"It is from an ancient word, kerberos. It means 'spotted.'"
I blinked. "You're a genuine Greek god. You're the Lord of the Underworld. And ... you named your dog *Spot*?
Jim Butcher
#43. Is your dog in a coma?" Quinn asked when the dog didn't move a muscle.
"No. Lump leads an active and demanding internal life that requires long periods of rest.
Nora Roberts
#44. You should never nag, whine, preach or plead with your dog because this is not the way leaders behave
Lisa Steffens
#46. When I go and work with people, I never say, 'Your dog is changed for the rest of its life.' It's like a diet. You've got to maintain a discipline and ritual in your life to keep a certain figure.
Cesar Millan
#47. I wondered if having conversations with your dog was less crazy than babbling to yourself when no one else was around. I guess it depended on whether or not the dog answered.
Deb Baker
#48. You may lose your wife, you may lose your dog, your mother may hate you. None of those things matter. What matters is that you achieve success and become free. Then you can do whatever you like.
Kevin O'Leary
#49. Dogs live in the moment, and don't have a concept of past or future. That's why you must immediately correct your dog if it breaks the rules. The old trick of rubbing your puppy's face in his poop or urine is not effective - your dog will have no idea why it is being punished.
Tom Ester
#50. You might be a redneck if your dog can't watch you eat without gagging.
Jeff Foxworthy
#51. Y'know when your dog drags its butt across the carpet leaving a stain- It's not as easy as it looks ... "
Josh Stern
#52. Having animals in the city is entirely different from having animals out in the country. For one thing, it's more social. When you live on lots of acres without neighbors within a stone's throw, your dog-walks are usually solitary rambles over hill and dale.
Susan Orlean
#53. Humans will always tell you the story. Dogs can only tell you the truth. Trust your instincts and listen your dog.
Cesar Millan
#54. If you want to have a good life, you should focus on your family, on your business, on your dog, on your fun, and you'll have a good life.
Adam Carolla
#55. Leaving sex to the feminists is like letting your dog vacation at the taxidermist.
Camille Paglia
#56. My view is quite simple. When your dog pees on the carpet, you do not give away your dog. You say, This dog is special. I have to teach him not to pee on the carpet. I feel exactly the same way about men. They need to be taught things.
Jacqueline Bisset
#57. A little attention, a pat on the head, and a kind word every now and then is all your dog asks.
Louis Sabin
#58. Study hard; and you might grow up to be President. But let's face it: Even then, you'll never make as much money as your dog.
George H. W. Bush
#59. Dog parks can be a fantastic way to socialize your dog, but it's important for owners to understand that a dog park isn't exercise and isn't a substitute for walk. A visit to the dog park is fun - play time.
Cesar Millan
#60. The most important questions - "What are you? Where did you come from?" - had a whole range of answers, starting with "I'm the Disreputable Dog" and "from elsewhere" and occasionally becoming as eloquent as "I'm your Dog" and "You tell me - it was your spell.
Garth Nix
#61. To your dog, you are the greatest, the smartest, the nicest human being who was ever born.
Jack Canfield
#62. New Rule: If you're one of the one-in-three married women who say your pet is a better listener than your husband, you talk too much. And I have some bad news for you: Your dog's not listening, either; he's waiting for food to fall out of your mouth.
Bill Maher
#63. One day Your dog is going to safe your life, that's a fact.
Deyth Banger
#64. No doubt, when your dog will be your best friend. Then she'd add, But never underestimate the power of purrs.
Gary Shiebler
#65. I am not your dog that you whistle for; I'm not a stray animal you call over, and I am not, I never have been, nor will I ever be, your "baby"!
Joy Jennings
#66. What's more appealing than a guy who gets down on his knees and lets your dog lick his face?
Kristan Higgins
#67. I honestly think that the perfect love we search for throughout our lives has always existed, and shines like a star, in the face of man's best friend, your dog.
Maria Bradley
#68. Do not bring your dog. (advice for attending a funeral)
Mark Twain
#70. The BP president said yesterday that the company would survive. That's like someone running over your dog and saying, 'Don't worry, my car is fine.'
Jimmy Fallon
#71. I always say, the time you spend with your dog makes the difference in a great dog or a crate dog.
M.K. Clinton
#72. Your cells are not working as hard as your dog's but harder than your horse's. The bigger the animal, the less energy needed to sustain a gram of tissue.
Geoffrey West
#73. Pets reflect you like mirrors. When you are happy, you can see your dog smiling and when you are sad, your cat cries.
Munia Khan
#74. Animals of every kind live on the Other Side, .. you are not crazy if you feel the spirit of your cat rubbing against your legs, hear the sound of your dog's toenails clicking on the wood floor, or hear the familiar song your bird used to sing. Our pets do come back to visit us.
Sylvia Browne
#75. If you present your dog to a veterinarian with the instruction to put him to sleep, you would normally mean something very different than you would upon taking your wife or husband to an anesthesiologist with the same words.
Raymond Moody
#76. Take care of your dog because a dead dog is NOT a fun companion!
Darlene Arden
#77. Your dog is your only philosopher.
Plato
#78. Your dog's health is ultimately in your hands.
Jana Rade
#79. You can't get a friend more loyal than your dog.
Dale Jarrett
#81. I had a dog. Ex-wife took him, and the house."
Is that why you like country music?"
He eased himself our of the closet. "Huh?"
"Just a joke. Sorry about your dog.
Jeri Smith-Ready
#82. After you work out, you have your dog with you. There's no better companion. You've got to have a friend. I didn't like opponents who had dogs with them. Because you know they had a little edge. They have a friend.
George Foreman
#83. When you are fed up with the troublesome present, take your gun, whistle for your dog, and go out to the mountain.
Jose Ortega Y Gasset
#84. I laugh. Sweetheart, save your piggy-bank change. If your dog's missing, put up flyers. If a guy dumped you for a hotter girl, stuff your bra and make him jealous. That advice, it's all free, by the way, 'cause that's how I roll.
Jodi Picoult
#85. US officials have now approved the first anti-obesity drug for dogs. I'm no a veterinarian, but if your dog is over eating, try putting a little less food in the bowl. Do we really need to give him a pill? Is the dog taking your car keys and driving to McDonalds?
Jay Leno
#86. How can you be certain of what you'll do? What if I kidnap your dog?"
"What? Why would you-" he huffed impatiently, shook his head, "I don't have a dog.
Penny Reid
#87. There's so many celebrities now on the Internet and I feel that I was such a pioneer. Now everybody, your dog can have a website.
Cindy Margolis
#88. Riding trails with your dog restores a bond lost in some evolutionary belch. You travel at the same speed, over the same terrain, neither of you slowing to compensate for the other. You're equal playmates with mud in your teeth.
Allison Glock
#89. If you get a dog, take care of your dog! You can just not have a dog if you don't feel like taking care of one, it's very easy to not have a dog.
Mallory Ortberg
#91. Having the democrats watch your money is like having Michael Vick watch your dog for the weekend
Tim Pawlenty
#92. All men are dogs, Nichelle, and if you don't feed your dog, you can't be surprised when he's in the neighbor's trash looking for food.
Norian F. Love
#93. in there," and the first guy says, "Watch." In he goes and orders a beer. "Sorry, you can't bring your dog in here," says the bartender.
Various
#94. In India, if you are from the elite, dogs are extremely important. The breed of the dog indicates your wealth, that you are westernized. The cook, another human being, is on a much lower level than your dog. You see this all the time.
Kiran Desai
#95. I am tired of all these golfers who are happy with second place. The only one who will like you if you come in second place is your wife and your dog. And that is only if you have a good wife and a good dog.
Gary Player
#96. You'd be cute if you weren't such a little humping freak." Carter flattened the fur on the top of the dog's head. "Humperdinck." He met Faith's eyes. "I think I've just named your dog.
Kristin Miller
#97. The objective is not so much to walk your dog, as it is to empty him.
Dave Barry
#98. If your dog doesn't like someone, you probably shouldn't either.
Jack Canfield
#99. Sometimes you panic and find yourself emitting remarks so profoundly inane that you would be embarrassed to say them to your dog. Your dog would look at you and think to itself, 'I may lick myself in public, but I'd never say anything as stupid as that.'
Dave Barry
#100. If you give only 80 percent leadership, your dog will give you 80 percent following. And the other 20 percent of the time he will run the show. If you give your dog any opportunity for him to lead you, he will take it.
Cesar Millan
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