Top 96 Quotes About Testicles
#1. You're such a crybaby. (Tee) Let me almost shoot off one of your testicles and see how you cope. (Joe) You shouldn't have moved, Joe. It was your fault. (Tee) Yeah, everything's my fault. (Joe) Good, then we agree. (Tee)
Sherrilyn Kenyon
#2. I won't eat offal. Once, I was in London at the Le Manoir aux Quat'Saisons, which is this really fancy eating establishment and hotel, and I almost got conned into eating testicles. It was one of the most delicious meals I've ever eaten, about twelve courses. That was one of the courses.
Lucy Punch
#3. Because men, compared to male chimps, have such relatively small testicles (large testicles indicate a species where many males mate, one after the other, with the same female), we might guess that promiscuous societies were uncommon in the immediate human past.
Carl Sagan
#4. He flashed a grin over his shoulder at me. "Ready to be astounded?"
I eyed him. "You're not going to drop your trousers and demand I admire your gorgeous testicles, are you?"
"Not after you disparaged their beauty.
Katie MacAlister
#5. I want to throw down your kid and stomp on his testicles, and then you will know what it is like to experience waking up everyday as me. And only then will you feel my pain.
Mike Tyson
#6. I will never marry you. I will never have sex with you voluntarily. And the day you touch me without permission will be the day you swallow your own testicles whole. Do you understand?
Rachel Vincent
#7. But what is worse than all," observed the English traveler Isaac Weld, "these wretches in their combat endeavor to their utmost to tear out each other's testicles."31
Gordon S. Wood
#8. I'm pretty good with knives. I'm so good, in fact, that I could sever your testicles with one hand and slice open your throat with the other, and you'd go into shock so fast you'd die without ever knowing you'd spilled a fucking drop of blood.
Rachel Vincent
#9. I think of the meaning of the word "testimony." Originally it named the custom of two men holding each other's testicles in a gesture of trust, later to metamorphose into the handshake.
Alice Walker
#10. Cojones: testicles; a valorous bull fighter is said to be plentifully equipped with these. In a cowardly bullfighter they are said to be absent.
Ernest Hemingway,
#11. His glare could melt a polar bear's testicles.
Dean Koontz
#12. It's a compassionate reaction that all testicles have for fellow testicles being whacked, kicked or ripped to shreds by footballs, martial arts students or dead palm frond stubs, respectively.
Bill Kasal
#13. so any limitations to our mutual fertility fell squarely on my shoulders - or rather, on my testicles.
Dalton Conley
#14. But now Nature starts doing things. The hormones start rolling and those old testicles start producing and all the rest of it
like breathing. You don't go around asking for it. It happens. It happened to me when I was twelve.
(Sean)
Paul Zindel
#15. Beware of averages. The average person has one breast and one testicle.
Dixie Lee Ray
#17. I'm sure you know by now, Jesse Jackson was overheard saying, and I'll put this more delicately, that he wanted to cut Barack Obama's testicles off. And Jesse has been on several news programs the last couple of days, explaining what he meant by those comments. Do you need to explain that?
Jay Leno
#18. If a UFO did land, and invite me onboard, I'd love to have the balls to go in. So, I search the skies for extra testicles.
Kelli Jae Baeli
#19. (In the 1920s, two Chicago chemists had to puree several thousand pounds of bull testicles from a stockyard to get a few ounces of the first pure testosterone.)
Sam Kean
#20. The only part of a man more sensitive than the aforementioned testicles was the male ego - like a Georgia peach.
Jewel E. Ann
#21. You'd really spend about a hundred dollars for fake testicles for your cat? I'm not sure I'd spend that for fake testicles for myself.
John Dobbin
#22. Travel broadens the mind. Travel shrinks the wallet. Travel shrivels the testicles.
Zanesh Catkin
#23. Berlin is the testicles of the West, every time I want the West to scream, I squeeze on Berlin.
Nikita Khrushchev
#24. It felt like he'd been dragged through the nine circles of hell - by his testicles.
Kay Berrisford
#25. Most of the Masters at The Zone would have given both of their testicles for the right to top the Ice Queen.
Joey W. Hill
#26. Eating any of these things, goat testicles or what have you, isn't going to be nice, but you get into that zone, you become focussed and you do what you need to do. It's all about one thing: coming home in one piece.
Bear Grylls
#27. Wynn really hoped the squeal that followed her announcement came from Ella, because if Kees had made that sound, she feared for his testicles.
Christine Warren
#29. Nobody fights with Jerry because you know the price would be too high. You might come out the winner, at his age, you might even lick him, but you'd lose an eye, an arm, your testicles in the process, everything would be gone.
Frank Layden
#31. If it has tires or testicles, you're going to have trouble with it.
Linda J. Furney
#32. A writer who presents men and women as creatures truncated below the waist is exposed as one who goes about without his trousers saying, 'see, I have had my testicles removed.'
Norman Lindsay
#33. There was something strangely compelling about a Japanese guy with lamb-chop sideburns and a voice so shrill you could be forgiven for thinking his testicles were wired to the national grid.
Jamie Holoran
#34. Depression grabbed me like a piranha on the testicles of an Amazonian warrior. I couldn't tell where the pain was worse: my arm, my whole back, or my heart.
James Crawford
#35. Boris [ Johnson]and Dave [Cameron] gnawed each other's testicles [during the Tory civil war which blighted the EU referendum].
Ken Livingstone
#36. To the extent a man can control chaos, he should put his testicles on the line and do so, but when a man can't, he should just step aside, or someone in the lineup behind him is gonna bite his ass.
Allan Dare Pearce
#37. He told me that when a male honeybee mates, its testicles explode and the penis is left inside the queen bee.
Jill Shalvis
#38. This place is crazy, B. You'll develop testicles just by breathing the air here.
L.J. Shen
#39. The average human has one breast and one testicle.
Des MacHale
#40. In southern Spain, they made me eat a bull's testicles. They were really garlicky, which I don't like. I prefer to take a bull by the horns, not by, um ...
Padma Lakshmi
#42. Liver, lungs, heads, tails, kidneys, testicles, all of these things which are traditional, delicious and nutritious parts of our gastronomy go to waste.
Tristram Stuart
#43. I've always felt that the placement of a man's testicles is an eloquent argument against intelligent design.
Mark Lawrence
#44. Talc: You have been found guilty of misleading and perverting the young. I decree that you be
hung by your underdeveloped testicles until dead. ZORRO
John Kennedy Toole
#45. In the third cabinet under the counter, she hit the good stuff. "Oh! You have a KitchenAid."
"If you're planning on caressing my mixer, you should know that might make my testicles explode," he said from behind her.
Her cheeks went hot enough to glow. "That would be awkward.
Jamie Farrell
#46. The first thing to say about Eve is that she was a big improvement on the Adam design, or that Adam was an extremely misguided variation on the Eve design. (Consider testicles. Two concentrated nuclei of absolute vulnerability. Where? Dangling between the legs. I rest my case.)
Glen Duncan
#47. You know, one time I saw Tiger down at the waterhole: he had the biggest testicles of any animal, and the sharpest claws, and two front teeth as long as knives and as sharp as blades. And I said to him, 'Brother Tiger, you go for a swim, I'll look after your balls for you.
Neil Gaiman
#48. It would be a miracle to solve this case. Luckily, I believed in miracles. No, wait, that was testicles. I believed in testicles.
Darynda Jones
#49. A three-year old was examining his testicles while taking a bath. 'Mom,' he asked,'are these my brains?' 'Not yet.' she replied.
Allan Pease
#50. The State has a superfluity of testicles, Peersa said with no particular emphasis.
Larry Niven
#51. So beautiful of course compared with what a man looks like with his two bags full and his other thing hanging down out of him or sticking up at you like a hatrack no wonder they hide it with a cabbageleaf
James Joyce
#52. Yeah, well lucky for you, once you stop gagging on your testicles you'll be fine.
Jewel E. Ann
#53. Why aren't you at your booth?" "She ran out of bats' testicles and hares' anuses," I piped up.
"Is it anuses or ani?" Roxy asked in an aside, looking perplexed. "You say octopi, don't you? Shouldn't more than one hare's anus be ani?
Katie MacAlister
#54. I asked him what his work was. He answered that he devoted all his time to his political activities ... He was undoubtedly busy with the diplomatic relations between his testicles and women's breast.
Marjane Satrapi
#55. Confucius say man who get kicked in testicles left holding bag.
Confucius
#56. I saw some amazing, beautiful, invigorating parts of America, but I saw some dark parts of America, an ugly side of America, a side of America that rarely sees the light of day. I refer, of course, to the anus and testicles of my co-star, Ken Davitian.
Sacha Baron Cohen
#57. Spartacus," I called, "how's it hanging?" Probably not too well. Once you're dead, had your organs removed, and are resurrected as an undead mummified cat, your testicles probably looked like old raisins that had rolled under the couch. Raisins didn't tend to ... hang.
Rob Thurman
#58. The beaver, which has come to represent Canada as the eagle does the United States and the lion Britain, is a flat-tailed, slow-witted, toothy rodent known to bite off it's own testicles or to stand under its own falling trees.
June Callwood
#59. IF IT HAS TIRES OR TESTICLES, IT'S GONNA GIVE YOU TROUBLE. - BUMPER STICKER
Darynda Jones
#60. This wasn't just another company - this was the biggest company by far making subprime loans. And it was engaged in just blatant fraud. They should have taken the CEO out and hung him up by his fucking testicles.
Michael Lewis
#61. I have no great faith in women's plays. They always seem to me to lack precisely that which women lack, viz: testicles.
George H. Boker
#63. One really understands testicles after reading 'The Family Jewels,' and one is gratified.
Cathleen Schine
#64. They tend to be suspicious, bristly, paranoid-type people with huge egos they push around like some elephantiasis victim with his distended testicles in a wheelbarrow terrified no doubt that some skulking ingrate of a clone student will sneak into his very brain and steal his genius work.
William S. Burroughs
#65. Most directors make films with their eyes; I make films with my testicles.
Alejandro Jodorowsky
#67. Hallorann's testicles turned into two small wrinkled sacs filled with shaved ice.
Stephen King
#68. My lawyers will fricassee your testicles for breakfast. And if you dare board my plane without a warrant, your spleen will follow.
Dan Brown
#69. I don't see Number Four though - oh." Number Four, wearing an unflattering chartreuse jacket, was sitting alone on the chewed-up grass, despondently licking his testicles. "Hmm, I don't know, Bel .
Paul Murray
#70. The smell would have given me an erection if I'd still had testicles.
Garth Stein
#71. My voice is the only material thing in which I can still reveal myself. Go ahead and cut off the hand or the testicles of a voice. Try to find the head of a voice, the orifice through which it passes, or even the breasts to which you can attach the clips of your electrodes. Nothing. Resonant tooth.
Abdellatif Laabi
#72. And thus it behoved Eros to put back fun, romance & passion into the union of love. He had to find Himeros, from the sea, from Uranus' cut off testicles, to bring Passion back into the union of love.
Nicholas Chong
#73. The fairy tale about the people who freely detach and re-attach appendages still inspires Sam. He remembers the character who interchanged his earlobes and testicles so he could acutely hear his ejaculations and enjoy a tightening at the side of his head whenever the weather got cold.
Barry Webster
#74. If you lay a hand on me I'll ram your testicles so far up inside your abdomen it'll take a heart surgeon to get them out.
Orson Scott Card
#75. No one touches her," Ash said, his voice coated with frost. "Touch her, and I'll freeze your testicles and put them in a jar. Understand?
Julie Kagawa
#76. If its got tires or testicles it's going to give you trouble
P.C. Cast
#77. Melissa had faith in God and Theo had faith in the fertile Boratto testicles.
Darren Shan
#78. This is poetry, but it is not delicate and fragile, a placid ocean beneath a Bible vese on an inspirational poster. This poetry had testicles. It's rougher than a rodeo. Which is why the cliffs are crowded with spectators
N.D. Wilson
#79. Women don't have dicks and they don't want dicks. That amateur psychology crap that women want penises. And they certainly don't want testicles. Because you know no women in her right mind is going to carry around a bag that she can't put stuff in.
Bobby Slayton
#80. The composition of a tragedy requires testicles.
Voltaire
#81. What was the old saying? If it has tires or testicles, it's gonna give you problems.
P.C. Cast
#82. Addressing the problem required standing up and shoving his hand into his pants to free his testicles from the grip of his underwear. He was not ready for such a commitment, so he endured. The mind can imagine nothing except while the body endures.
Aleksandar Hemon
#83. The brain is the largest data store facility to ever exist, even exceeding the storage capacity of a man's testicles (yes, if you are a man you can be proud of your pair, as they store more data than any computer). The
Bill McDowell
#84. I hang onto my prejudices, they are the testicles of my mind.
Eric Hoffer
#85. There's a bit of testicle at the bottom of our most sublime feelings and our purest tenderness.
Denis Diderot
#86. One hundred women are not worth a single testicle.
Confucius
#88. The ram, a huge wooly creature named Hughie, with testicles that hung nearly to the ground like wool-covered footballs, shouldered his massive way into the front rank with a loud and autocratic Bahh!
Diana Gabaldon
#89. Before going mountain bike riding, it's a good idea to leave your valuables at home. Your testicles, for example.
John Dockery
#90. To relate a Beethoven sonata to the testicles is hardly in the style of traditional aesthetics.
Terry Eagleton
#91. Anaxagoras' belief that lying on the right side during sex would produce a boy was so influential that centuries later some French aristocrats had their left testicles amputated.
Matt Ridley
#92. Touch her, and I'll freeze your testicles off and put them in a jar. Understand?
Julie Kagawa
#93. The spirits of the brain are directly connected to the testicles. This is why men who weary their imagination in books are less suitable for procreative functions ...
Louis De La Forge
#94. (A male human's testicles were the most attractive thing about him, I realized, and vastly unappreciated by humans themselves, who would very often rather look at almost anything else, including smiling faces.)
Matt Haig
#95. I've been sniffing out the guys in my English class (to the extent that this is possible without getting my throat cut), but they smell the same way they always do: like feet and testicles. As opposed to freesias.
I don't want to keep sniffing them, Lyd.
- Letter from Seb to Lyd.
Jaclyn Moriarty
#96. I am not a fan of Sigmund Freud because his theories are not testicle.
Richard Wiseman
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