Top 100 Quotes About Martha Stewart
#1. BoomTown has long been a big fan of Martha Stewart.
Kara Swisher
#2. In New York the other day, there was a pro-Martha Stewart rally. Only four people showed up ... and three of them were made out of crepe paper!
Conan O'Brien
#3. Martha Stewart is getting out of prison so today the terror alert was raised from orange to pesto.
David Letterman
#4. Yes! We finally captured Martha Stewart. You know, with all the massive and almost completely unpunished fraud perpetrated on the public by companies like Enron, Global Crossing, and Tyco we finally got the ring leader. Maybe now we can lower the nation's terror alert to periwinkle.
Jon Stewart
#5. I told him I had always kept my inner Martha Stewart chained in the basement, but for his sake I would set her loose."
~ Haven Travis
Lisa Kleypas
#6. I imagined Martha Stewart trying to take over Pops kitchen. That would be better than Godzilla vs. Mothra
Piper Kerman
#7. President Bush got an early Christmas gift. This week, President Bush was chosen as 'Person of the Year' by Time magazine. Not only that, Martha Stewart was chosen as person of the year by Doing Time magazine.
Conan O'Brien
#8. Martha Stewart was found guilty on all charges. You know what that means, stripes are in this year.
Jay Leno
#9. I'm the ghetto Martha Stewart, the black Rachel Ray.
Coolio
#10. Your like Martha Stewart on crack, my neighbor shouted as I stuck another cardinal in with the daisies.
Debby Bull
#11. I like when she [Martha Stewart] demonstrates how to transport a potted plant while wearing Hermes pants and uses enough packing material to move a whole house. But we're just moving one plant. Really you just put the plant in a truck and go.
Alexis Stewart
#12. Earlier today Martha Stewart issued a statement saying 'I am innocent and will fight to clear my name.' Yeah, Martha then said 'I look forward to the day when people stop thinking I am guilty and get back to thinking I am cold and arrogant.'
Conan O'Brien
#13. Who was this guy? she found herself asking. Looks like Paul Bunyan, runs a bar, has all these guns, and cleans and launders like Martha Stewart.
Robyn Carr
#14. I don't think there's any company that has the same tools as Martha Stewart Living does, and people know that. They really love the tools and, if you have the tools, you can pretty much do the craft.
Martha Stewart
#16. Sighing dismally, she acknowledged that some things just weren't humanly possible - not even Martha Stewart could fold fitted sheets.
Karen Marie Moning
#17. Have you seen the cover of Newsweek? They have Martha Stewart on the cover, but it's not actually Martha. It's a doctored photo. They put Martha's head on a slimmer woman's body. And Martha was very upset about this. She said, 'Hey, if I wanted my face on another woman's body, I'd stay in prison.'
Jay Leno
#18. Every inch of the house is covered in flowers and lace and screams tacky. It's like Martha Stewart vomitted, and this is the crap that came out.
Victoria Scott
#19. I love cabdrivers. I love their unpredictable manners. I love the pictures of their families on the visors. I love the fact that most of them think I'm Martha Stewart.
Diane Sawyer
#20. The corporate scandals are getting bigger and bigger. In a speech on Wall Street, President Bush spoke out on corporate responsibility, and he warned executives not to cook the books. Afterwards, Martha Stewart said the correct term was to saute the books.
Conan O'Brien
#22. I'd like to learn how to cook. I've hauled around this big, old, heavy Martha Stewart cookbook in my suitcase to Cape Cod, L.A., Paris. I don't know what possessed me.
Mamie Gummer
#24. The environment changed with Martha Stewart and Enron.
Steve Martin
#25. Martha Stewart showed up at Manhattan FBI Headquarters to have her finger prints taken and pose for a mug shot. Then Martha explained how to get ink off your fingers using seltzer water and lemon juice.
Conan O'Brien
#26. Martha Stewart contributes more to our civility than the Baptist church.
Dave Hickey
#27. I have a new joke today. Martha Stewart's on suicide watch. They had to unplug all of her ovens.
Rip Taylor
#28. You know Kim Jong Un, the evil dictator of North Korea? Apparently, a guy in his inner circle used his ashtray while smoking and Kim Jong Un had him executed. I remember the same thing happened when a guy used Martha Stewart's personal lemon zester.
David Letterman
#29. I am not quite Martha Stewart, but I do like cooking and gardening.
Dennis Basso
#31. All these rappers on stage and Martha Stewart has done the most jail time.
Natasha Leggero
#32. I look up to Martha Stewart, and I love that she has product lines that are true extensions of her brand.
Tyra Banks
#33. Martha Stewart has two houses in East Hampton. She has an old fashioned Victorian house and a very new modern house.
Steven Gaines
#34. I take pride in taking care of all the housework so that my wife, who works as a designer for Martha Stewart, won't need to sacrifice any of her leisure time when she gets home.
Said Sayrafiezadeh
#35. Earlier today, the jury at the Martha Stewart trial reached a verdict. Martha was found guilty on all charges. In a related story, there's a huge sale at K-Mart.
Conan O'Brien
#36. I didn't want to turn into Martha Stewart. I wanted to turn into a more organized, more gracious me. And that truly has happened.
Jen Lancaster
#37. Martha Stewart denied allegations that she had been given inside information to sell 4,000 shares of a stock in a biotech firm about to go under. Stewart then showed her audience how to make a festive, quick-burning yule log out of freshly-shredded financial documents.
Dennis Miller
#38. Tough times for Martha Stewart. Yesterday, Martha Stewart reported to her parole officer and had to take a mandatory urine test for cocaine and marijuana. Martha was found to be drug-free and her urine was found to be a lovely yellow saffron.
Conan O'Brien
#39. I work in the most non-Communist job. I work for 'Martha Stewart Living.'
Said Sayrafiezadeh
#40. For stalker food, Martha Stewart is the woman to go to.
Julie Powell
#41. The Martha Stewart trial makes clear how far women have risen in the business world. America can be proud of our equal-opportunity prosecution and conviction.
Rosabeth Moss Kanter
#42. I get great joy from creating the perfect Norman Rockwell holiday. This is why I think I might be Martha Stewart's brother from another mother.
Jesse Tyler Ferguson
#43. Federal authorities have informed Martha Stewart's lawyers she will be indicted for her role in the ImClone insider trading scandal. Good news for Martha - stripes are back in this year.
Craig Kilborn
#44. I got sued more times than Martha Stewart.
Paul Heyman
#45. I love entertaining and doing Martha Stewart stuff.
Laura Prepon
#46. I heard this rumor that al Qaeda is merging with Hamas. Yeah, I got that tip from Martha Stewart.
David Letterman
#47. Exactly; just because I like to suck dick doesn't mean I'm Martha Stewart in the kitchen.
Lisa Worrall
#48. NBC is making a movie about Martha Stewart that will cover the recent stock scandal. They are thinking of calling it 'The Road To Extradition.'
Conan O'Brien
#49. Martha Stewart is now under house arrest. So she'll go to her $40 million 153-acre estate. So she's going from the big house to an even bigger house.
Jay Leno
#50. I'm not saying Martha Stewart is old, but she needs a new Walker more than the 'Fast and Furious' franchise.
Natasha Leggero
#51. I met with Martha and Sharon to see if there are any opportunities in syndication. My vision says her customers and fans are still loyal to her. I don't think the Martha Stewart brand loyalty has changed.
A. J. Burnett
#53. We got Martha Stewart legitimizing homemaking for her generation, and then there's this return to being interested in all things home, lifestyle, and food again. I think this generation is less about the frills and more about the flavor of things.
Nadia Giosia
#54. Tom Ridge announced a new color-coded alarm system ... Green means everything's okay. Red means we're in extreme danger. And champagne-fuschia means we're being attacked by Martha Stewart.
Conan O'Brien
#55. I had a really good time with Martha Stewart, who also is somebody I really admire a lot. I've learned a lot from her and I think all of America has, about attention to detail and using fresh ingredients and making things beautiful and special.
Ted Allen
#56. And with that, my friend drove away and left me at the gates of hell, deceptively decorated to look like a Martha Stewart magazine.
Cardeno C.
#57. Martha Stewart was convicted of four counts of lying and obstruction of justice and could serve up to 20 years in Congress.
Craig Kilborn
#58. Martha Stewart's a convicted felon and they gave her another television show. What's next, the Scott Peterson Fishing Hour?
Christopher Titus
#59. My mother could do absolutely anything. She was like Martha Stewart before such a thing existed.
Cheryl Ladd
#60. Luckily, I have my husband, who is Mr. Organized. Because I don't have that part of Martha Stewart in my body.
Kimberly Schlapman
#61. The only thing Martha and I have in common is that we both used to model. Martha Stewart is extremely talented. Her designs are picture perfect. Our philosophy is life is messy, and rather than being afraid of those messes we design products that work the way we live.
Kathy Ireland
#62. I have a good memory for certain things. And a very short memory for painful things - that's my favorite Martha Stewart quote, by the way.
Reese Witherspoon
#63. As you know President Bush has been traveling around the country trying to sell his new Social Security plan. He wants to take our retirement money and invest it in the stock market. He says nothing can go wrong. I'll mention that to Martha Stewart the next time I see her.
Jay Leno
#64. I once read that Martha Stewart never wears a bathrobe. Not that I like Martha Stewart, nobody likes Martha Stewart, I don't think even Martha Stewart likes Martha Stewart.
Elizabeth Berg
#65. My mom, the fabulous Bertie Kinsey, is an amazing seamstress. She quilts and sews and is so crafty. We call her the Southern Martha Stewart!
Angela Kinsey
#66. I admire but don't envy people who have children and also have big, wonderful perfect houses. Maybe Martha Stewart could do it; to me those two things aren't compatible, but I know our children will grow up with a feeling that home is a place of comfort.
Audra McDonald
#67. Fuck you, human. (Phoenix)
Wow, boys and girls, they're just so inviting, aren't they. Martha Stewart would be proud. (Susan)
Sherrilyn Kenyon
#68. At first glance, Martha Stewart, queen of artfully distressed home furnishings, might not seem to have much in common with Michael R. Milken, one-time king of junk bonds.
Alex Berenson
#69. Martha Stewart published her recipe for disaster
mix one part arrogance with two parts incompetence, simmer in the juices and then serve hot in the can.
Jay Leno
#70. You can't all of a sudden go to sleep one night and wake up Martha Stewart. It's bit by bit by bit.
Jen Lancaster
#71. Franchesca and Sharkey, my French bulldogs, have their own blog. And they are brilliant at it.
Martha Stewart
#72. I am always asking myself how I can improve the lives of my customers, my colleagues, my shareholders, my family and my friends.
Martha Stewart
#73. I always disagreed with the separation of the name and the brand and the person To build on that name and brand is one thing. To divorce the name and the brand from the person was not an approach that I agreed with.
Martha Stewart
#74. Fifty-seven percent of Americans are do-it-yourselfers, craftspeople, and artisans and makers.
Martha Stewart
#75. I admire the courage and self-reliance it takes to start your own business and make it succeed.
Martha Stewart
#76. The homes I like the best are totally occupied, busy, and useful, whether it's a tiny little house or a great big one. Rarely do you find a great big house that's used in a good way. So I prefer smaller spaces that are full of books, full of things that people are doing.
Martha Stewart
#77. In New York, I get a tremendous amount of ideas by looking at the paintings and the sculptures, adapting artistic endeavors to crafts. There is a lot of inspiration around us that we can see every day and turn into projects.
Martha Stewart
#78. Drones can be useful tools, and I am all about useful tools. One of my mottos is 'the right tool for the right job.'
Martha Stewart
#79. Our passion is and should always be to make life better.
Martha Stewart
#80. That's reality, it's accessibility. People are used to seeing me like that for the last year, I think, ... To avoid it is avoidance. We're not going to avoid things.
Martha Stewart
#81. I was a very curious person because of my parents. They encouraged me to be as curious about as many things as I wanted.
Martha Stewart
#82. I'm very inspired by nature - you could say Mother Nature. I look at things around me and get all kinds of inspiration daily.
Martha Stewart
#83. All I really want is a three-room house. The home I have designed at my new farm in Bedford, New York, is a three-room house: bedroom on top, living room in the middle, and kitchen on the ground.
Martha Stewart
#84. We're not so free that we don't have to listen to rules, and laws, and regulations. Those are important. But the spirit, the freedom of the spirit, that's what I think of American Dream, that we are free here to do what we want to do, what we set out to do.
Martha Stewart
#85. I use the same products on my body as I use on my face. I don't think there's really any difference between the two, so the more moisturizers and serums you use, the better off you are.
Martha Stewart
#87. All the things I love is what my business is all about.
Martha Stewart
#88. As you would expect, the loss of freedom and the lack of privacy are extremely difficult. But I am safe, fit and healthy.
Martha Stewart
#90. I'm kind of a complainer, but not about getting old. I complain about, you know, something that can be fixed.
Martha Stewart
#91. Our families and our homes are the center of American life, Everything we do is to make those homes-and the lives in them-more beautiful, more comfortable, more functional and more full of life and light and joy for those we love.
Martha Stewart
#92. Doing projects really gives people self-confidence. Nothing is better than taking the pie out of the oven. What it does for you personally, and for your family's idea of you, is something you can't buy.
Martha Stewart
#93. Really try to find a job where it's fun to get up and get out the door, no matter what time.
Martha Stewart
#94. I live in an old house with no closets and no built-ins. I hate big cupboards.
Martha Stewart
#95. I want you to know that I am innocent - and that I will fight to clear my name.
Martha Stewart
#96. I think it's very important that whatever you're trying to make or sell, or teach has to be basically good. A bad product and you know what? You won't be here in ten years.
Martha Stewart
#97. I was the second of six kids. I wouldn't say we were poor; we had no money. That's different.
Martha Stewart
#98. Everywhere I go, I always look for creative entrepreneurs, whether it's artisans and craftsmen, small farmers and gardeners, or restaurateurs who use fresh, locally sourced ingredients.
Martha Stewart
#99. My goal with our American Made program is to inspire people of all ages to become 'doers,' whether it's them learning how to make an easy weekday dinner or starting their own business.
Martha Stewart
#100. I'm never sick. Why get sick? It's a waste of time.
Martha Stewart
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