Police Report Quotes

#1. I'm right-handed, and the police report said I was jerking off with my left hand. That would have been the end of the case right there, proof it couldn't have been me.

Paul Reubens

#2. This is the kind of life I've had. Drunk, and in charge of a bicycle, as an Irish police report once put it. Drunk with life, that is, and not knowing where off to next. But you're on your way before dawn. And the trip? Exactly one half terror, exactly one half exhilaration.

Ray Bradbury

#3. The key is to commit crimes so confusing that police feel too stupid to even write a crime report about them.

R. K. Milholland

#4. Children, on the other hand, were systematically turned against their parents and taught to spy on them and report their deviations. The family had become in effect an extension of the Thought Police. It was

George Orwell

#5. You should really find Jesus, young man." "I've put out a missing person report. The police told me they couldn't get a warrant to search his place.

Anonymous

#6. I wonder why no one called the police about the rocket launcher? God knows my neighbors usually report it if I so much as fart in my backyard. (Bubba)

Sherrilyn Kenyon

#7. My relationship with my father had been on the proverbial fritz since the time I was fifteen and called the police to report him for child molesting. He had never molested me, but I wanted to have a party that weekend and needed him out of the house.

Chelsea Handler

#8. I'm not sure whether to thank you or report you to the police, he said at last.

Carlos Ruiz Zafon

#9. The Board of Inquiry report fails to recognize that the central problem in the Los Angeles Police Department is the culture. The reality is there will not be meaningful reform in the Los Angeles Police Department until the culture is changed.

Erwin Chemerinsky

#10. Fresh wounds," said Angua. "But one of them did shoot one of the other in the leg by accident."
"I think you'd better put in your report as -self inflicted- wounds while resisting arrest," said Vimes.

Terry Pratchett

#11. Child pornography is the only crime that you cannot report to the police as an eyewitness.

Doug Stanhope

#12. 'Moral police' is my new word. I am very against the media doing moral policing, giving opinions on actor's lives. Media should not become moral police; they should just report.

Katrina Kaif

#13. Oh God, she could see it now - the police constable filling out a report: Mathematician drowned due to miscalculation.

Nina Rowan