Old Girlfriend Quotes

#1. In the photo, he and some old girlfriend smiled - greasy faces idiotic with hope that the picture would one day remind them that for three seconds they acted happy and thought it final.

Sam Pink

#2. how you would feel if your old girlfriend showed up and she had the IQ of a frog. You'd

Bobby Adair

#3. I got married. My wife changed her name. I know some women have a problem with that. But I wanted her to have my old girlfriend's name. So call me old-fashioned, but this fella does what the Bible tells.

Jim Gaffigan

#4. My math is never sharper as when I meet an old girlfriend with a kid.

Kelsey Grammer

#5. They sounded a lot like me and my old girlfriend Loretta, but I swore to myself that I would stop thinking about her ass, even though every Cleopatra-looking Latina in the city made me stop and wish she would come back to me.

Junot Diaz

#6. I'd like to sing you a song now about my old girlfriend. It's called "They'll Find Her When the Leaves Blow Away 'Cause I'm Not Raking 'Til Spring."

Steven Wright

#7. It's very intense to go back to the past and revive work that I've already experienced and moved forward from. It's like seeing an old girlfriend - awkward at times, nostalgic at times and downright maddening and embarrassing.

Barry McGee

#8. My girlfriend is named Lynn. She spells her name "Lynn". My old girlfriend's name is Lyn, too, but she spells it "Lyn". Every now and then I screw up, I call my new girlfriend by my old girlfriend's name, and she can tell because I don't say "n" as long.

Mitch Hedberg

#9. after an old girlfriend failed to solder a few chips correctly, he made her the team's bookkeeper.

Brent Schlender

#10. Happiness is when you see your husband's old girlfriend and she's fatter than you.

Croft M. Pentz

#11. It's so weird to say this about the icon and legend that is Cher, but she's like an old girlfriend. We still talk all the time. She's an incredible person personally and professionally, giving such amazing advice, stories for days, been there done that. She's one of a kind.

Christina Aguilera

#12. I do not have a 24-year-old girlfriend. I have another life altogether.

Jens Lehmann

#13. It wasn't a romance; they were too young for that. Theo did not know of a single thirteen-year-old boy in his class who admitted to having a girlfriend.

John Grisham

#14. Just the very thought of someone my age going to visit old girlfriends had instant appeal.Even women think, 'That would be interesting.' Not comfortable, but interesting. It is not a comfortable film at any point.

Bill Murray

#15. Many fathers go their entire lives without announcing how sexy their son's old girlfriends are.

Mallory Ortberg

#16. I've always had a career. I have been working hard since I was 15 years old. Being someone's 'girlfriend' was never what I wanted to be famous for. What makes you 'famous' isn't always what you want to be 'labeled' as or known for.

Adrienne Bailon

#17. Shane was sitting on the curb next to the old, cracked gas pumps, eating a candy bar. Claire plopped down next to him. "Half?" she asked.
"And now I know you're my girlfriend, since you're not afraid to demand community property," he said, and pulled off the uneaten half to hand it over.

Rachel Caine

#18. Wives, girlfriends, fiancees - clean out your closets. I'm cleaning out my old bell bottoms. We can touch millions.

Deion Sanders

#19. Don't hate me."

"Does anybody?"

"Kevin's old high school girlfriend."

"Because she's a slut."

Jenny beamed. "I didn't realize you knew Candy.

Nora Roberts

#20. Naomi's my girlfriend," I say aloud, just to test the words, see how they feel fucking across my lips. Ronnie flips a page in an old copy of Rollin' Strong magazine and ignores me.
"Yeah, we heard. Sixteen times since we came in here," Josh bitches.

C.M. Stunich

#21. You want to know what it feels like to be castrated? Try having your nine-year-old brother protect you from your ex-girlfriend after you've told her you're in love with a man.

T.J. Klune

#22. Yeah, that's exactly what I want. To help my girlfriend get her old boyfriend back." He turned away again, and I heard him mutter, "I need two drinks.

Richelle Mead

#23. Call me close-minded, but hearing my girlfriend talk like a five-thousand-year-old male god was not on my top ten list of Things I Find Attractive.

Rick Riordan

#24. Oh yeah In France a skinny man Died of a big disease with a little name By chance his girlfriend came across a needle And soon she did the same At home there are seventeen-year-old boys And their idea of fun Is being in a gang called The Disciples High on crack, totin' a machine gun.

Prince

#25. I would love to close my eyes and see myself with my girlfriend when we're 99 years old and I have a pipe and she's knitting a sweater, and I hope that's the way it goes. I think it's a challenge every day.

Chris Messina

#26. Big story at the Olympics regarding Michael Phelps. He stepped out with his girlfriend for the first time. She is a 25-year-old model from Los Angeles. Like every other model in L.A., She's dating an older retired guy. What's going on?

Conan O'Brien

#27. I wondered if I'd ever be so lucky to have a girlfriend I'd grow old with, a girlfriend who knew my secrets, my fears, my hopes
and loved me anyway.

Beth Hoffman

#28. I stepped forward. Call me old-fashioned, but I wanted to keep his focus on me and not Annabeth. I think it's polite for a guy to protect his girlfriend from instant incineration.

Rick Riordan

#29. You've got a girlfriend." He snorted, shaking his head. "Geeks don't get girlfriends. We die old and alone.

C.L.Stone

#30. I moved into a nice houseboat in Little Venice when I was 15 years old. I found a girlfriend called Monday and a houseboat called Friday, so I had the week sewn up.

Richard Branson

#31. Bill looks different without a suit. He was wearing his old graduate school T-shirt. Which was Brown. The school. Not the color. His girlfriend was wearing sandals and a nice flowered dress. She even had hair under her arms. No kidding!

Stephen Chbosky

#32. In 1940 I was just turning 5 years old and being taken to the movies. For those of us who were not old enough to understand the horror of war it was a very romantic era because these guys were kissing their wives and girlfriends goodbye and going off to fight and become heroes.

Woody Allen