Old Crap Quotes

#1. Enjoy how sweet, how thoughtful, how kind I'm being on your birthday. Because tomorrow it's back to the same old crap.

Melvin Helitzer

#2. Gold wrapped old crap.

Toba Beta

#3. Sounds like a plan. I owe Tammy a big thank-you." Ty sighed. "I think I'm too old for this bachelor party crap."
"We'll be planning yours soon enough."
That was so not appealing, Ty was almost scared. "Let's just go fishing and call it good."
"Done.

Erin McCarthy

#4. I met someone the other night who's 28 years old, and he hasn't worked a day since he left college because he's pursuing a dream he'll never, ever realize: He thinks he's a great singer. Actually, he's crap.

Simon Cowell

#5. My dad loved to 'arrange things' to take us kids to that scared the crap out of us on Halloween. He'd take us to the old 'Hermit's House' at the edge of town. He'd park the car 100 yards down the street and say, 'Go back there and get something off the front porch!'

Bill Moseley

#6. Life is like a mountain: after climbing up one side and sliding down the other, put up the sled.

Josh Billings

#7. Men deluded themselves when they believed in better days, some bygone era when the sun shone brighter. Better days had never existed. Joy had always been stolen, and sweeter because of that fact.

Zachary Jernigan

#8. She's way too old to be acting a fool because she has a screwed-up mommy." "Please. Just please with the blame-my-mommy-'cause-I'm-a-bitch crap,

P.C. Cast

#9. Denial is for losers. Face your crap and move on. Otherwise you'll get old and depressed and turn into a scary pod person whose most pressing issue in life is when they get to trade in the can of Dr Pepper for the can of Bud.

Estelle Laure

#10. Just recently I worked with Van Morrison and I came to realize that money can't make a decent human being out of you.

Jim Sullivan

#11. Man is the most powerful creature on the planet. And we're arrogant. I mean, people own birds. It's like, there's a creature with the gift of flight. I want it. I'm going to put it in my kitchen and make it crap on old information.

Demetri Martin

#12. So for front-runners we have a black and a woman. It's like being made to choose between syphilis or having and old man crap on your face. I would do the country a favor and run myself but I couldn't deprive Hollywood of me for 4 years.

Zach Braff

#13. I love you.
And I want you, too.
But.
However.
Unfortunately ...

Megan McCafferty

#14. Hope is the first step on the road to disappointment.

C.S. Goto

#15. If you still want to do this crap after the first time you've burned the body of a six-year-old with blood on her lips and a Barbie in her hands, I'll welcome you with open arms.

Mira Grant

#16. The Holy Ghost has as a major purpose witnessing that Jesus is the Christ. As we plead for help in His service, the Holy Ghost will come and confirm our faith in Him. Our faith in the Savior will increase. And, as we continue to serve Him, we will come to love Him.

Henry B. Eyring

#17. Has anyone ever actually told you how up yourself you are?

Deborah Levy

#18. You bloody old towser-faced boot-faced totem-pole on a crap reservation.

Kingsley Amis

#19. You're not going to see a new Bernard Hopkins. I'm too old for that crap. I think what you will see is something different that I know I am capable of doing.

Bernard Hopkins