Nerd Humor Quotes

#1. As a mighty river which when properly harnessed by dams and canals, creates a vast reservoir of water, prevents famine and provides abundant power for industry; so also the mind, when controlled, provides a reservoir of peace and generates abundant energy for the human uplift.

B.K.S. Iyengar

#2. You called the guy you're supposed to rescue a nerd, and you just referenced Star Trek. You don't find that a bit nerdy?

A.J. Wiliams

#3. Q and Beanpole and I giggled at the way our math teacher, Mr. Sung-Li, wore four pencils in his shirt pocket in case he was suddenly attacked by a multiplication problem or something.

Alan Sitomer

#4. On time for us was thirty minutes before actually started, because the half hour before the first bell was the highlight of our social calendars: standing outside the side door that led into the band room and just talking.

John Green

#5. Let's see.' She fiddles with her terminal and the room card reader. 'You're in 403 and 404. Have a nice day.'
I hand Persephone the Forbidden Room card and keep Room Not Found for myself. She looks at me oddly.

Charles Stross

#6. He shone so bright, the sun could have borrowed light from him.

Lauren Kate

#7. The heart of the classical repertory is the Tchaikovsky-Petipa 'Sleeping Beauty,' and no ballet is harder to get right.

Robert Gottlieb

#8. The time is not yet ripe to say what happened. When history's ready, then we can talk about it

Mohammed Saeed Al-Sahaf

#9. However, neither occasion quite matched the levels of hilarity that ensued on the day Mr Miller sat on the corner of his desk and farted it to pieces.

Simon Pegg

#10. I can see why you like it here," he said,making a sweeping gesture that encompassed Kyle's collection of movie posters and science fiction books. "There's a thin layer of nerd all over everything." said Jace.
"Thanks. I appreciate that." Simon gave Jace a hard look.

Cassandra Clare

#11. I think that's my new band name," Shane said. "Asshat and Nerd Girlfriend. It's got a ring to it.

Rachel Caine

#12. If you're pursuing something that you love and you're learning something new, every day, that's the key to youth [staying young].

Dave Bautista

#13. Whomever the Lord has adopted and deemed worthy of His fellowship ought to prepare themselves for a hard, toilsome, and unquiet life, crammed with very many and various kinds of evil.

John Calvin

#14. Gert: What ... what just happened?
Chase: I don't know, but guess who totally stole Cookie Monster's glasses!
Gert: Whew, for a second there, I was worried we almost learned something.
Chase: Ooo, look at me! I'm a big fluffy nerd!

Brian K. Vaughan

#15. Seeing what someone's reading is like seeing the first derivative of their thinking.

Ben Casnocha

#16. Be nice to nerds. You may end up working for them. We all could.

Charles J. Sykes

#17. No one messes around with a nerd's computer and escapes unscathed.

E.A. Bucchianeri

#18. Lizzing is a combination of laughing and whizzing.

LIZ

#19. In a well-ordered universe ... camping would take place indoors.

Morgan Matson

#20. It was rumored she held grudges till they died of old age, then had them stuffed and mounted.

David Weber

#21. Congratulations. Your official super-nerd badge is in the mail.

Rachel Vincent

#22. I was the class innuendist.

Michael Feldman

#23. As a teacher, my strategy is to encourage questioning. I'm the least authoritarian professor you'll ever meet.

Niall Ferguson

#24. She said my glasses made me look like a butch jock's locker room bitch.

Nenia Campbell

#25. Judging books by their covers is seriously underrated, and any book nerd who claims never to have done it is probably lying.

Amy Smith

#26. Wit seduces by signaling intelligence without nerdiness.

Nassim Nicholas Taleb

#27. I will take a serious approach to a subject usually treated lightly, which is a nerdy thing to do.

Benjamin Nugent

#28. Sence and Sensibility, for instance, came out in three separate volumes, as did Pride and Prejudice (so the next time you read one of the ubiquitous time-travel Austen adaptations and somebody picks up a single-volume first edition, you can hit your nerd buzzer and say "wrong!").

Amy Smith

#29. I burned through all of my extra lives in a matter of minutes, and my two least-favorite words appeared on the screen: GAME OVER.

Ernest Cline

#30. Ah," said Magnus. "Nerd love. It is a beautiful thing, while also being an object of mockery and hilarity for those of us who are more sophisticated.

Cassandra Clare

#31. My best definition of a nerd: someone who asks you to explain an aphorism

Nassim Nicholas Taleb

#32. I know a flute player is technically called a "flautist," but something about it sounds a little sketchy, as does "pianist," so I will refrain.

Julie Halpern

#33. The preface? Why would he waste time with the preface? Skip the preface and move on to the meat of the thing!

Kenneth Oppel