Music Band Humor Quotes

#1. On that same tour we ran into a band at Aylesbury Friars, a biggish venue in Oxfordshire, England. They were a four-piece from Ireland called U2. They seemed like nice fellows and they sounded pretty good, but we didn't keep in touch. They're probably taxi drivers and accountants by now.

Craig Ferguson

#2. It's the darkness when a light is quenched, the silence when a sound fades. It takes the final breath from the smallest insect and the mightiest king. It knows us all, stalks us all, and in the end claims us all.

Darren Shan

#3. When he wasn't making quirky jokes about his mother like this - it happened more than once - he mainly spoke at me, about his job and about his band, Jettisoned Airplane, an electronic music duo, which had been formed in March, inspired by the plane that had gone missing and not yet been found.

Olivia Sudjic

#4. I feel like I am more deserving than last year. It definitely feels good just to be on the team.

Andrew McCutchen

#5. I've thought of killing myself so many times. I don't do it, not because I am a coward, but because it would be easier for me to be dead. What's my life? I make money and I make memories. That's not a life. I don't kill myself because living is my own life sentence.

Jeanette Winterson

#6. It won't be whiskey, won't be meth
It'll be your name on my last breath
If divorce or death ever do us part
The coroner will call it a broken heart

The Band Perry

#7. The home is the center and circumference, the start and the finish, of most of our lives.

Charlotte Perkins Gilman

#8. I cringed as the band oozed into the next chord. If notes were cars, I think there was a D major under the wreckage.

Mary Hughes

#9. Another example of getting flack from the boys is what happened when Jack Black dumped me. That's right. I fucked Jack Black. Okay, we went out only two or three times, but that's a relationship in my book. And by the way, this is my book.

Kathy Griffin

#10. Now, the band that inspired that great saying, "Stop The Music!!"

Henny Youngman

#11. But I was not in the band, because I suffer from the kind of tone deafness that is generally associated with actual deafness

John Green

#12. Somebody get me a cheeseburger!

Steve Miller Band

#13. Yeah," he says. "We've been friends since kindergarten. Funniest guy I know," Matt says with a chuckle. "He's a great guitar player, too. He's in a band with some guys from Omaha South. He keeps trying to get me to join."
"What do you play?" I ask.
"Baseball," Matt jokes.

Cat Patrick

#14. Elemis Pro-Collagen Marine Cream - I think it's fantastic. The same girl has been doing my make-up for 12 years and she says my skin's never looked so good.

Gaby Roslin

#15. I know a flute player is technically called a "flautist," but something about it sounds a little sketchy, as does "pianist," so I will refrain.

Julie Halpern