Let Down By Boyfriend Quotes

#1. Your boyfriend's penis is not an awkward string of spaghetti that has to be scooped up and sucked down. The Emperor of China once asked Lao-tzu: How should I rule the kingdom? To which Lao-tzu replied: Rule the kingdom as you would cook a small fish. A really good blowjob is the same.

Chloe Thurlow

#2. She sits down at the end of my bed again. "Who were you with? Do you have a boyfriend now or something?"
I can't help but laugh. If I have a boyfriend, his name is Death. And I'm pretty sure Roman is in love with him too. It's a love triangle gone wrong.

Jasmine Warga

#3. Geez, Em, stop checking him out so noticeably."
"Sorry! It's just so hard. I mean he's my boyfriend's identical twin. Obviously I like this brand." I gestured with my hand up and down, indicating Jace.

Kimberly Lauren

#4. Abby did a little happy dance before jogging down the hall to the bedroom. The corners of my mouth turned up. What other woman would be that excited to see her boyfriend trade punches? No wonder I fell in love with her.

Jamie McGuire

#5. I might not have a boyfriend, but I have cupcakes, an those tasty bastards haven't let me down yet.

L. H. Cosway

#6. I'm down to bleach my eyebrows again. I tell you what, though - that didn't go down well with my boyfriend. Girls love it. Guys, not so into it.

Florence Welch

#7. Is this your boyfriend?" the first nun asked.
Clair Olivia looked me up and down. "No. This is my gay friend who decided he was straight and single-handedly wrecked havoc at an all-boys school in Massachusetts this fall. He's gay again and home for Christmas, so yay!

Bill Konigsberg

#8. His text took only a moment. You tell the guy you're dating that your boyfriend's back. I let my arms drift back down to the bed as I closed my eyes, sighing. Yeah, that's what I was thinking, too. My phone beeped again. And he's gonna be in trouble . . .

Penelope Douglas

#9. I think I'm misunderstood when I post these comments about films. So here is Kate Winslet [in Titanic] sitting on - you know, laying on this plank. This ship is down. She let her boyfriend drown. They didn't even try a second time to get him to float on that with her. So I'm angry by that, I think.

Neil DeGrasse Tyson

#10. I was once making a burger for myself at my boyfriend's house and a lyric started pouring out and I had to catch it, so I ran to another room to write it down, but then the kitchen caught fire. His cabinets were charred, and he was furious. But it was worth it for a song.

Jill Scott

#11. I think if a girl who liked 'Party Down' found out that her boyfriend liked 'Two and a Half Men,' she would break up with him.

Lizzy Caplan

#12. Nah, Dad, I'm good. Please leave me in this hotel bedroom with my handsome boyfriend. And several of his relatives, and a very sharp weapon."
"Clearly I went badly wrong somewhere when raising you," said Dad. "Well, best to do down before Tomo gets into the vodka.

Sarah Rees Brennan

#13. My only regret is that I can't track down a boyfriend or two and use my evil vampire powers to hypnotize him into stripping naked and dancing the Highland Fling every time he hears the word 'hello.' " "But he would hear it several times every day," I told her. "What's your point?

Molly Harper

#14. Reasons I don't want a serious boyfriend:
1. They hold you back
2. Grind you down
3. Then mess with your head

Ali Harris

#15. I don't feel like, unless I have a boyfriend or somebody to march down the aisle with for the fifth time, that I'm 'Oh, poor me.' I'm not going to go running out desperately looking, making myself crazy and thinking that, without that, I'm nothing.

Raquel Welch

#16. Though everyone I knew seemed to be either settling down or looking to settle down, I was never on a deep-sea fishing expedition to find a boyfriend. And a "great catch," well, that seemed to be begging for heartache.

Julie Buxbaum