In The Hospital Quotes

#1. I think comedy is a good way to deal with anything. I hear about people in the hospital who are ill, and they use humor to help them through it. I think it's a great remedy for many things.

Brian Regan

#2. I'd be the last colonel in the world to order you to go to that U.S.O. show and have a good time, but I want every one of you who isn't sick enough to be in a hospital to go to that U.S.O. show right now and have a good time, and that's an order!

Joseph Heller

#3. I feel like, when I arrive at the hospital, I want a glass of whiskey, I want the epidural in my back and I want to get hit in the face with a baseball bat.

Kristen Bell

#4. I've never had to spend any time in the VA hospital, so I really can't speak for those guys.

R. Lee Ermey

#5. We visited the unlucky in the hospital and went to funerals, always remarking on the tragedy. But every time we stepped too close to it, we saw our own demises. We went with the full knowledge that we would one day die as well.

Donna Augustine

#6. While lying in traction in the hospital the next day, I informed Jerry that he could promptly take his cake, hideous football photo and smelly socks and fuck off out of my apartment.

Kate Langdon

#7. Instead of becoming depressed that I was in the locked ward of a mental hospital, I pretended I was playing a role in a movie, possibly on my way to an Emmy.

Augusten Burroughs

#8. Thoughts arise in the hostage's tormented brain. In the hospital, patients feel they are returning to childhood; in prison, they age. The gods blind themselves.

Elie Wiesel

#9. he gave the first modern-day description of the condition in children in a lecture at a London hospital in 1887, noting, "If the patient can be cured at all, it must be by means of diet.

David Perlmutter

#10. The trick to going wherever you want unchallenged in a hospital is to walk briskly, nod to the people you know, and ignore the ones you don't. The nod reassures everyone that you are known, the brisk pace that you have a mission and don't want to talk.

Patricia Briggs

#11. I work on quiet call nights in the hospital, on airplanes and on my sailboat when I have a bit of time - I cram it into wherever it will fit.

Kevin Patterson

#12. The conservative assumes sickness as a necessity, and his social frame is a hospital, his total legislation is for the present distress, a universe in slippers and flannels, with bib and papspoon, swallowing pills and herb-tea.

Ralph Waldo Emerson

#13. Never return to a doctor whose office plants have died. After five days in hospital, I took a turn for the nurse.

Spike Milligan

#14. It was like finding Attila the Hun at a yoga class. Like finding Darth Vader playing ultimate Frisbee in the park. Like finding Megatron volunteering at a children's hospital. Like finding Nightmare Moon having a birthday party at Chuck E. Cheese.

Cory Doctorow

#15. Death straps me to the hospital bed, claws its way onto my chest and sits there.I didn't know it would hurt this much. I didn't know that everything good that's ever happened in my life would be emptied out by it.

Jenny Downham

#16. Charity feeds the poor, so does pride; charity builds an hospital, so does pride. In this they differ: charity gives her glory to God; pride takes her glory from man.

Francis Quarles

#17. If I was going to shoot you, we wouldn't be having this conversation. What's your name?" The Italian lifted his head enough to meet Sergei's gaze. "Who wants to know?" Sergei rolled his eyes. "The guy who's going to decide whether you wake up tomorrow in a hospital, a jail cell, or a morgue." He

L.A. Witt

#18. Thank you for your enthusiasm. Earlier today I told another student I was getting new encyclopedias - he asked me how long I'd be in the hospital!

Chris Colfer

#19. Procedures outside the stadiums and in the parking areas still need to be optimized, for example so that emergency medical services can leave the grounds on their way to the hospital faster.

Otto Schily

#20. Thanks." Dave put the car in reverse. Backing carefully around the workers, he parked in the nearest lot, then sprinted across the roadway to the side entrance of Sisters of the Holy Rosary Hospital.

Mary SanGiovanni

#21. When we arrived at the hospital, you were in a medically induced coma, which I was made to understand was a sort of freezing of you, a fabricated reprieve from your own body that would allow your internal organs to rest.

Jan Ellison

#22. Crawford was home for a month from the hospital, the chest pains came again in the night. Instead of calling an ambulance and going through it all again, he chose simply to roll over to the solace of his late wife's side of the bed.

Thomas Harris

#23. He was one of my most dramatic recoveries with AIDS, and the reason I say that is that he was the most far gone. He was in the absolute, end stage - they have that wing in the hospital where they have given up on you. You can smoke pot and do anything you want. They had given up on him.

Richard M. Schulze

#24. Regardless of the country it is practised in, most of hospital medicine is painting over the cracks rather than fixing the wall.

Benjamin Daniels

#25. Working in the hospital teaches you that there are only two kinds of people in the world: the sick and the not sick. If you are not sick, shut up and help.

Hope Jahren

#26. 'General Hospital' was so massive in the 80s and that's when people my age or even younger watched that show. A generation grew up on that show, Luke and Laura, I came in on the cusp of that so there's still a lot of 'Frisco.'

Jack Wagner

#27. I can remember crawling through the window where he was in the hospital ... He said, 'You have a gift ... keep training for me.' I s'pose those were the last words he ever spoke to me.

Dawn Fraser

#28. Near the end I asked him one night in the hospital corridor what he thought was happening, and he said, "Tell her everything you haven't said," and I smiled with relief. "There's nothing," I said. "I've already told her everything.

Gail Caldwell

#29. I survived
A dreadful accident
In the car crash of the century
My shattered hopes
Collapsed on cold cement
But in the back of the ambulance
I'd never felt so content.

Owl City

#30. I doubted any hospital in the world would be able to mend a shattered heart. (Taryn Mitchell)

Tina Reber

#31. I was born in the Ottawa General Hospital right after the Gray Cup Football Game in 1939. Six months later, I was backpacked into the Quebec bush. I grew up in and out of the bush, in and out of Ottawa, Sault Ste. Marie and Toronto.

Margaret Atwood

#32. I looked at her, exhausted in the hospital bed, and she looked at you, and you looked at me looking at her with eyes that had never known anything else, and for a moment there I swear we saw each other with a clarity that nothing can alter, not time, not heartbreak, not death.

Garth Risk Hallberg

#33. It may seem a strange principle to enunciate as the very first requirement in a hospital that it should do the sick no harm.

Florence Nightingale

#34. My sister was a twin, and the other baby died in childbirth, and I was three at the time, and I always kind of thought it haunted me. It was a weird thing. My dad was an ob-gyn, and so it was confusing that the other baby didn't come home from the hospital.

Scott Turow

#35. No matter what you say while in the hospital, doctors won't laugh at your jokes.

Hope Jahren

#36. Hate to ask you this, Sal, but is it all right if we don't go straight back to your house? I think I need to stop at the hospital." I wiped my eyes with the back of my hand as I forced myself to sit up. "Okay," I said, in a small voice.

Mira Grant

#37. The curtains decayed
The daylight poured in
I was never afraid
Of the darkness again
My burns were third-degree
But I'd been set free
'Cause grace had finally found its way
To me

Owl City

#38. We were singing 'We Are the Champions' for the twentieth time or so," she said from the hospital in Bowling Green, where most of the survivors were taken.

Stephen King

#39. In February 1991, I was rushed to the hospital in Los Angeles to have my feet amputated. Three years earlier, I had broken the national 100 meters hurdles record while a student at UCLA and was a favourite for the event at the 1988 Seoul Olympics.

Gail Devers

#40. He could barely remember the last time he had seen a hearse on the streets. Death had vanished from the streets of America, thought Shadow; now it happened in hospital rooms and in ambulances.

Neil Gaiman

#41. I wrapped myself in the flimsy hospital gown and tiptoed across the hospital room to sit down on the hospital bed, holding my arms across my chest, trying to contain my breasts. They seemed enormous and unpredictable without a bra.

Jessica Knoll

#42. Death had vanished from the streets of America, thought Shadow; now it happened in hospital rooms and in ambulances. We must not startle the living,

Neil Gaiman

#43. Doctors frequently get it wrong. One out of five patients today is in the hospital because incorrect treatment by a physician put him or her there.

Andrew Saul

#44. I was told very sternly at the hospital to avoid boys at all costs. Mess up your levels."
"Oh, they do that!" Amy laughs. "Probably best to leave them alone for a while. The secret, though, is to start with one you're not that bothered about."
What is the point in that?

Teri Terry

#45. Recently, I was in Africa monitoring elections when right on the street, this guy started beating a woman. I got out of my car, pulled her inside and drove her to the hospital. But after the doctors treated her, she was too afraid to press charges. I've seen this over and over in America, too.

Barbara Lee

#46. We have a VA hospital back home in St. Louis. Like many of our colleagues, we hear continued concerns about the access and the service. I have seen a statistic that more than 60,000 veterans today are waiting more than 6 months for an appointment at a VA hospital.

Russ Carnahan

#47. Keep in mind that if you take a tour through a hospital and look at every machine with on and off switch that is brought into the service of diagnosing the human condition, that machine is based on principles of physics discovered by a physicist in a machine designed by an engineer.

Neil DeGrasse Tyson

#48. In preparation for a career in academic medicine, I worked as a medical house officer at Columbia-Presbyterian Hospital from 1966 to 1968 and then joined Ira Pastan's laboratory at the National Institutes of Health as a Clinical Associate.

Harold E. Varmus

#49. I moved to Harvard in 1998, and in 2000 the first kidney exchange in the United States was done at a hospital nearby. I started to think, 'Gee, there might be a way where I could help organize it, make it easier for people to find kidneys.'

Alvin E. Roth

#50. My dad was a physician. As a kid, I remember driving around with him on weekends so he could do his rounds at the hospital and talk to patients. We'd spend time in the car talking about what was going on with them, their stories.

Pierre Omidyar

#51. Or maybe watching you enjoy a carefree summer while you fell in love was what kept me out of the hospital in the first place.

Nicholas Sparks

#52. Outside the hospital, I squinted in the harsh morning sunlight. I could hear birds chirping in the tree, but even though I searched for them, they remained hidden from me.

Nicholas Sparks

#53. The very first requirement in a hospital is that it should do the sick no harm.

Florence Nightingale

#54. You fell, she said, just remember you fell.
I fell, is all he told the doctors
in the big hospital. A nice lady came
and asked him questions but because
he didn't want to be sent away he said, I fell.
He never said anything else although he could talk fine.

Anne Sexton

#55. I'm a leukemia survivor, and I recall during my darkest days in the hospital when my friends would come to see me, especially the male friends - they had certain mortality issues with their visit.

Lew Temple

#56. Her mother told her once that her father was sick. That the sickness made him do it. She made it seem logical. As if he was lying in a hospital bed with cancer rather than rotting in a prison cell for rape and murder.

Anais Torres

#57. Walt Whitman, who worked as a nurse in the hospital wards, that the harrowing experience made one's "little cares and difficulties" disappear "into nothing.

Doris Kearns Goodwin

#58. Today, medical devices such as catheters and stethoscopes use silver, and every hospital in the western world uses silver sulfadiazine to prevent infections.

Robert Kiyosaki

#59. We get nose jobs all the time in the NHL, and we don't even have to go to the hospital.

Brad Park

#60. The first duty of the novelist is to entertain. It is a moral duty. People who read your books are sick, sad, traveling, in the hospital waiting room while someone is dying. Books are written by the alone for the alone.

Donna Tartt

#61. From that day on I go to each door in turn and sing the three songs that I remember from school. Within a few days I'm overwhelmed how happy they appear to be when they hear or recognize me.

Corinne Hofmann

#62. Instead of finding myself in the future, I traveled about fifty metres along the sidewalk at 200mph before finding myself in a bush. When asked by the nurse filling out the hospital accident reports 'Cause of accident?' I stated, 'time travel attempt' but she wrote down 'stupidity'.

David Thorne

#63. Three days after my brother died, my father was in the hospital. He just did not want to live anymore. Before, he was fighting and loving life.

Marc Forster

#64. I worked at a hospital for a week. And at a golf course when I was in college at Kansas for about a week. The tips weren't good so I quit.

Paul Pierce

#65. I never wrote him. I never saw him again. He was just gone, this dear, dear man, this friend of my soul in the hospital so long ago, disappeared. This is a New York story too.

Elizabeth Strout

#66. There are really only three things to learn in skiing: how to put on your skis, how to slide downhill, and how to walk along the hospital corridor.

Benjamin Mancroft, 3rd Baron Mancroft

#67. There's nothing like the bravery and the strength and the extraordinary optimism of a five-year-old child in a cancer hospital, fighting to live. It's there inside the spirit.

Frank Langella

#68. Shifting in the hospital bed had blown her closet door wide open.

Ilona Andrews

#69. All I could think of was we were about to start filming for the last final weeks of the TV show and here I am in the hospital, so I missed the final weeks, and a couple days later, sore stomach and all I got on the horse we started filming.

David Selby

#70. One day I was 17 years old and I ended up trying to commit suicide and I ended up in the hospital. As a teenager, that was a really scary thing.

Pattie Mallette

#71. He looked for a job, and the job that he found was that of an orderly in a hospital, on the night shift, where his work was emptying bed pans, wrapping up dead bodies, and doing all the other things which orderlies have to do.
You never met a more emancipated man.

William Stringfellow

#72. The hospital, by necessity, may send a man home with one leg less: but it will not (in a creative rapture) send him home with one leg extra.

G.K. Chesterton

#73. I had actually hurt my neck, and because I went a while without getting it taken care of - it was pushing up against the back of my heart - and because I have heart issues, they thought it was this whole big deal. So I spent a good three days in the hospital, two nights in the ICU.

Austin Carlile

#74. As I laid in the hospital bed I started thinking that I had a show to do. I was hoping the Doctor would put me together so I could do the show.

Ben Vereen

#75. Sure smokers have made personal choices. And they pay for those choices every day, whether sitting through an airline flight dyingfor a smoke, or dying for a smoke in the oncology wing of a hospital. The tobacco companies have not paid nearly enough for the killing.

Anna Quindlen

#76. The ambulance crews brought the victims to us before the tires on the wreck stopped spinning. They salvaged people we'd never see in Missing, because no one would have tried to bring them to a hospital. Judging someone to be beyond help never crossed the minds of police, firemen, or doctors here. A

Abraham Verghese

#77. I was in and out of the hospital almost daily from then on.
They X-rayed, poked, and prodded me, and then they did it again for good measure.

Bear Grylls

#78. Longbottom causes devastation with the simplest spells. We'll be sending what's left of Finch-Fletchley up to the hospital wing in a matchbox.

J.K. Rowling

#79. Oh my God, this can't be happening!" I cried.
"What?"
"Mopeds? Those are the wheels Pete gives us? I knew he was pissed off at me! It was all that time I spent in the hospital wasn't it? Or was it the wrecks? But I only tore up one car last time! And that wasn't my fault!

Jennifer Rardin

#80. When Byrd came out of there, he had written a lot things while he was in the hospital.

Billy Eckstine

#81. When my grandmother was sick in the hospital, I foolishly quoted her the saying, 'never regret growing old; it's a privileged denied to many.' She glared at me and responded, 'spoken like a truly young idiot.

Dan Pearce

#82. I grew up outside Philadelphia, Pennsylvania, in a little town, and went to a regular high school. I was a ... very average student in that high school. Then I joined the Navy, and while I was in the Navy, I was in a motorcycle accident and woke up deaf in a hospital.

I. King Jordan

#83. When I was at school studying biology, I wanted to be a medical researcher. I did work experience at St Mary's Hospital in London, and I begged them to let me see the post mortems. So the first time I saw a naked male was at 15, when I saw an 89 year old man who had died of a brain hemorrhage.

Katherine Parkinson

#84. Dr. Fortunato," Kristine shot back at Laurie, her resentment undisguised. "You don't know how we do things in Wright. Dr. Parrish doesn't care about hospital hierarchy. He's very accessible and he'd never let his ego get in the way of patient care. Maybe you do things differently where you work-

Lisa Scottoline

#85. When I was around eleven or twelve, my board got hung up on the top of a bowl, and I got a concussion, and I knocked my teeth out. That was the first time that I got seriously injured, and I was taken to the hospital in an ambulance, and my parents briefly doubted.

Tony Hawk

#86. The first five to six years of my life were spent in and out of the hospital.

Ryan White

#87. Faith will get in the ditch with you, faith will go in the prison with you, faith will go into divorce court with you, faith will go in the hospital with you, faith will go in the nursing home with you.

T.D. Jakes

#88. When I was in college, I worked at a state hospital that was a dumping ground for all manner of the criminally insane and 'mental defectives' as they called them back then. It was a horrible place, like Arkham, mostly in terms of total neglect of the inmates, so I wanted to write an Arkham story.

Ann Nocenti

#89. Don't be that guy that's laying in that hospital bed going, 'I wonder what would have happened if I tried it?' The worst thing that could happen is that it doesn't work.

Dana White

#90. Elsa heard one of the doctors at Mum's hospital saying that Granny "could start a fight in an empty room," but when Elsa told Granny she just looked miffed and said, "What if it was the room that started it?

Fredrik Backman

#91. The medical clown connects with patients in a way that is markedly different from the rest of their experience in the hospital.

Jeff Raz

#92. I was taken to Elmhurst Hospital in a motorcade. It looked to me like a million police cars buzzing around the vehicle in which i, a woman in labor, was riding. And they all followed. Into Elmhurst Hospital and up to the delivery room. They surrounded the hospital.

Assata Shakur

#93. He had a curiously stunted sense of humor and loved practical jokes that veered dangerously close to cruelty. Once on a hot day he filled a friend's water jug with kerosene and mirthfully stood by as the friend took a mighty swig. The friend ended up in the hospital.

Bill Bryson

#94. First need in the reform of hospital management? That's easy! The death of all dietitians, and the resurrection of a French chef.

Martin H. Fischer

#95. I went to several different grade schools all over the West Coast. I got polio when I was 8 and spent eight months in the hospital and a rehab clinic in Seattle.

Dennis Washington

#96. The friendly giant of my childhood, the wise, gentle god who always knew exactly what to do, now lies pale and haggard in a hospital bed with a dizzying array of tubes and wires and beeping machines all around him.

Kendall Ryan

#97. Gay culture is in a coming-out process of its own. From out of the closets in the '60s, the culture moved onto the disco floors of the '70s and through the hospital wards of the '80s and onwards to the streets.

Lance Loud

#98. In a hospital they throw you out into the street before you are half cured, but in a nursing home they don't let you out till you are dead.

George Bernard Shaw

#99. On the ward there was hurt and pain so big and so deep that speech could not express it. I had been interested in philosophy, and suddenly philosophy came alive for me, for here the basic questions of human existence were not abstractions: they were embodied in human suffering

Frank X. Barron

#100. The downside was that hospital staff took the first big blasts of secondary infection; the upside was that those blasts generally weren't emitted by people still feeling healthy enough to ride a bus or a subway to work. This was an enormously consequential factor in the SARS episode -

David Quammen