If I Were Dead Quotes

#1. I am alive and well and unconcerned about the rumors of my death. But if I were dead, I would be the last to know.

Paul McCartney

#2. If I were dead like Snow White and he kissed me like that, surely my heart would kick back to life. That I'd be the one to slay dragons for that kiss.

Tarryn Fisher

#3. If I were dead, then nobody in England would have to fuss about the cost of my security and whether or not I merited such special treatment for so long.

Salman Rushdie

#4. My heart pounds sickeningly and I turn pale ... I often feel as if I were dead ... I seem to be losing my mind.

Robert Schumann

#5. I think if my child died I would prefer it if I were dead.

Saoirse Ronan

#6. If I were dead and buried And I heard your voice, Beneath the sod My heart of dust Would still rejoice.

Dalton Trumbo

#7. I do not wish to die: but I care not if I were dead.
[Lat., Emori nolo: sed me esse mortuum nihil aestimo.]

Marcus Tullius Cicero

#8. If I were dead, I wouldn't be sad, and I wouldn't be glad, because I wouldn't be.

Marcus Sedgwick

#9. If I were dead, the first thing you'd do, with the tears streaming down your face, would be to start modelling some damned mourning woman or some figure of grief.

Agatha Christie

#10. It is as if i were dead, and this is the after-life, her in the sunlight, beyond the edge of the world, among the sons and daughters of the sea.

Ursula K. Le Guin

#11. In the meantime, I could withdraw to my room, could hide and sleep as if I were dead

Elizabeth Wurtzel

#12. Of course, if I were dead, they could just bury me, and move on. Broken is harder to deal with.

E.K. Johnston

#13. Then why haven't you killed yourself? (Astrid)
Why should I? The only enjoyment I have in my life is knowing I piss off everyone around me. If I were dead, it would make them all happy. God forbid I should ever do that. (Zarek)

Sherrilyn Kenyon

#14. I consider telling him the truth. That if I were dead like Snow White and he kissed me like that, surely my heart would kick back to life

Colleen Hoover

#15. Girls! Girls! Put some pep into your work. How would you act, for instance, if I told you that all for your salaries were to be raised?

I would drop dead.

Edna Wallace

#16. Can I just wrap up this whole line of conversation by saying I really don't give a shit whether you're upset? If you were actually hurt, or dead, then I'd say sorry. But you're not, so suck it up.

John Scalzi

#17. If I were to win the Nobel Prize in Literature - which I think it's fairly safe to say is not going to happen - I would still expect the headline on my obituary to read: 'Christopher Buckley, son of William F. Buckley, Jr., is dead at 78.'

Christopher Buckley

#18. In a Cafe
I watched a man in a cafe fold a slice of bread as if he were folding a birth certificate or looking at the photograph of a dead lover.

Richard Brautigan

#19. If I were a teacher, I would like to teach freshman English - so I could be the Robin Williams type in Dead Poets Society. I wanna be that guy. I couldn't teach seniors because they'd be smarter than me.

Jake M. Johnson

#20. If I were on the field, I'd want the manager sticking up for me. Sometimes players are dead wrong, ranting and raving, but you stick up for them. They appreciate that.

Bobby Cox

#21. Lady Macduff: Now God help thee, poor monkey! But
how wilt thou do for a father?

Son: If he were dead, you'd weep for him. If you would
not, it were a good sign that I should quickly have a
new father.

William Shakespeare

#22. It was a real treat when he'd read me Daisy Miller out loud. But we'd reached the point in our relationship when, in a straight choice between him and Henry James, I'd have taken Henry James any day even if Henry James were dead and not much of a one for the girls when living, either.

Angela Carter

#23. Most of my childhood revolved around wondering when we would be blown up by the Russians. I couldn't stand the news, I knew that if the missile were launched, mortality would arrive in half an hour, so I spent a lot of my childhood feeling that I was 30 minutes from being dead.

Jane Smiley

#24. I'd seen the older children in class look into books for invisible traces, as if they were driven by the same force and, sinking deeper into silence, they were able to draw from the dead paper something that seemed alive.

Muriel Barbery

#25. If football wasn't a part of my life, there were three things that could have happened, and they were all bad. I would have likely been selling drugs, in jail or dead.

Chad Ochocinco

#26. And I know Blake had a bunch of fucking problems going on the night he was shot. But Mouse here made sure the hired guns were dead before they could hurt him. I don't know if I get to call him a hero, if that's allowed, because I'm a bad man, and he was my friend. But he was a hero to me.

Debra Anastasia

#27. I don't glorify the dead. If I didn't care if they were still alive, why do I even bother when they are dead. If I love a person when they are still alive, they will remain in my mind and in my heart when they die.

Ann Marie Aguilar

#28. It always confused me how Smalley managed to keep enrolment limited only to Guardian bloodlines. I don't know, maybe she put some charm up that made people think about dead puppies every time they stepped on campus. That's what I would have done, anyway, if I were headmistress.

Cecily White

#29. Bram was staring at me in dibelief, as if I were trying to persuade him that his entire existencce as a dead man was simply an incredibly realistic dream.

Lia Habel

#30. I wondered if it was possible to donate my body to science before I was actually dead. I wondered if a disease were to be named after me what the symptoms would be.

Miriam Toews

#31. In this world, you were either strong, or you were dead. you did what you had to if you wanted to survive. And i could barely take care of myself; i couldn't worry about someone else's insecurities.

Julie Kagawa

#32. And if she had not come back to me ... if you had not come ... if I had known for sure that both of you were dead ... Then I would still have lived ... and done what must be done. So will you.

Diana Gabaldon

#33. Everything rests on the poisoned wine. If it were just the queen, I could force it down her gullet, but Declan Broekhart would run me through with that damned ceremonial sword, and if his wife's stares were daggers, he'd be dead already.

Eoin Colfer

#34. I wish I was dead, or that it were tomorrow night," groaned Phil.
"If you live long enough both wishes will come true," said Anne calmly.

L.M. Montgomery

#35. In books I meet the dead as if they were alive,
in books I see what is yet to come ...
All things decay and pass with time ...
all fame would fall victim to oblivion
if God had not given mortal men the book to aid them.

Richard De Bury Translated By E.C.Thomas

#36. I thought you were dead.
Stupid. As if I'd die without taking you with me.

Patricia Briggs

#37. If we'd had another carefree 70's, I'd have been dead. It was a little too carefree, you know? I don't know how carefree they were for me, I think I was worried then, I can't remember what about.

Randy Newman

#38. A minute later the steam stopped. By then, I was soaking wet and, no doubt, my pores were open. Some people pay a fortune for this kind of beauty treatment. I got mine for free, if you disregard the bruises, headache and all those dead people."
- Corin Hayes, Silent City (working title)

G.R. Matthews

#39. Darkness has completely descended onto the landscape and I stood up and stretched my arms above my head and I wondered what it would be like if it were a perfect world. Only god knows. And he is dead.

David Wojnarowicz

#40. I know he's dead! Don't you think I know that? I can still like him, though, can't I? Just because somebody's dead, you don't just stop liking them, for God's sake
especially if they were about a thousand times nicer than the people you know that're alive and all.

J.D. Salinger

#41. But when they were done, I wondered if there would be a next time. I felt good. I wasn't dead, yet something was dead. Perhaps I'd managed my peculiar objective of partial suicide. I was lighter, airier than I'd been in years.

Susanna Kaysen

#42. And even if I'd wanted to mourn, four or five million were too many to shed tears over. Tears are more personal than that. We don;t read a news story about twenty thousand dead in an earthquake and weep. at best, we sigh and tell the wife. More often, we shrug and go check our Facebook messages.

Adrian Barnes

#43. The only way I won't be re-elected is if I were found in bed with a dead girl or a live boy.

Edwin Edwards

#44. I know if I were to drop dead now, people would probably write nice things in the obit.

Martin Short

#45. There's a wonderful saying that's dead wrong. 'Why did you climb the mountain?' 'I climbed the mountain because it was there.' That's utter nonsense ... You climbed the mountain because you were there, and you were curious if you could do it. You wondered what it would be like.

Larry Ellison

#46. If we were stopped and questioned, I always smiled at the officers, and they always smiled back. In my heart, I was seeing them dead. But on my face, I was an open invitation. If you are only a girl, this is how you destroy your enemies.

Irene Gut Opdyke

#47. Her lips remind me of kite strings and I find myself thinking about panda bears. Panda bears do not fly kites, I tell myself.
'I thought you were dead,' she says.
Maybe if you taped a kite to a panda paw and scared the panda so that it started running, the kite might start to lift off.

Michael Ian Black

#48. Finding a way to move on from him would be hard. I might never accomplish it. I wouldn't chase him, but I would mourn him. As if he were dead, my heart would weaken, and I'd embrace the pain and sadness. Until Gannon, I'd never been truly happy. No one had made me feel complete or like I belonged.

Abbi Glines

#49. If the day gets really bad, I can always pull out fan mail. Who else gets mail where kids write to you and say, 'Dear Mr. Scieszka, we were supposed to write to our favorite author, but Roald Dahl is dead. So I'm writing to you.'

Jon Scieszka

#50. I was so drained I felt as if I were staring through a telescope at the light of a star dead for a million years.

Isabel Allende

#51. My foes have missed their mark in this shooting at me: I am not the man: I wish that they themselves be guiltless. If all the fornicators and adulterers in England were hanged up by the neck till they be dead, John Bunyan, the object of their envy, would be still alive and well.

John Bunyan

#52. Please. If you were mostly dead in the middle of the road I'd obviously stop. And then I'd watch you die.
Kate to Will

Elizabeth Scott

#53. He hadn't stiffened up or anything. I just wasn't used to dressing guys, even if they were dead.

Warren Moore

#54. I didn't know if I should put my faith in God or Satan. Was there really a difference at the end of the day, when we were all going to be dead souls anyway?

Jess C. Scott

#55. Aren't you ever satisfied? I swear if I were mortal, I'd be limping from our last go-round. If not dead. We really need to find you a hobby other than jumping on top of me. (Acheron)

Sherrilyn Kenyon

#56. ... I felt as if I were living only in order to be more aware that I was dead.

Georges Bataille

#57. I don't know if once you die you remember things that happened to you when you were alive. It makes a certain logical sense that you wouldn't. That being dead will feel like before you were born, which is to say, a whole lot of nothingness.

Gayle Forman

#58. If I were a real Creek View girl, the kind Josh liked, I'd be hammered right now, not thinking about my dead father.

Heather Demetrios

#59. Epitaphs are cheap, and they do a poor chap a world of good after he is dead, especially if he had hard luck while he was alive. I wish they were used more.

Mark Twain

#60. Sometimes I wonder - if I were drop-dead handsome, and every woman I met actually dropped dead, would I ever get tired of it?

Robert Breault

#61. Yet, if the world were bettered by
My death or story left untold,
I would condemn myself to die
For misdemeanours manifold:
I bring no harm to young or old
Alive or dead, in either case:
A man so needy never rolled
A mountain from its resting place.

Francois Villon

#62. No one around me was doing anything, even making conversation. They were all just perfectly inert, laid out prone or supine as if submitting to autopsy or dissection. Only the dead or the lowest of species can bask, I'm convinced.

Joshua Cohen

#63. I opened both eyes. Dread was sitting on my chest as if it were an animal. I mean, dread so real it had physical presence, like a Labrador retriever I could teach tricks to. Here, Dread. Sit, Dread. Roll over, Dread. Play dead, Dread.

Claire Cook

#64. I was a terrible history student. They taught me history as if it were a visit to a wax museum or to the land of the dead. I was over twenty before I discovered that the past was neither quiet nor mute.

Eduardo Galeano

#65. But, Mrs Van Hoosier, if I may make so bold-'

'You may not,' She inserted another cake into her mouth and chewed it so angrily I all but felt sorry for it. When it was finally dead she turned and fixed me a look, as though she were a scientist and I some kind of bug she was microscoping.

John Harding

#66. The paintings by dead men who were poor most of their lives are the most valuable pieces in my collection. And if an artist wants to really jack up the prices of his creations, may I suggest this: suicide.

Kurt Vonnegut

#67. I used to think that if none of your family or friends knew you were dead, it was like not really being dead. People can invent the best and the worst for you.

Celine

#68. If I were an athlete I'd be past my prime. If I were a dog I'd be dead. Thirty ... shit.

Jonathan Tropper

#69. As soon as I looked at Alphonse's face, I knew that he was dead. I had the strange feeling that I was dead myself. It felt as if I were lying at the bottom of a grave and earth was being thrown on me. When death takes someone you know, he holds you and whispers all his secrets in your ear.

Heather O'Neill

#70. KING HENRY VI:
Would I were dead, if God's good will were so;
For what is in this world but grief and woe?

William Shakespeare

#71. I have heard people say that they felt closer to their parents after they have died. Maybe if I treat people as if they were dead, I could get along with them better

Henry Rollins

#72. Love can do all but raise the Dead I doubt if even that From such a giant were withheld Were flesh equivalent But love is tired and must sleep, And hungry and must graze And so abets the shining Fleet Till it is out of gaze.

Emily Dickinson

#73. Maybe I was just being paranoid. But that's the thing about the game. If you weren't paranoid, you were dead already.

Allison Van Diepen

#74. I happen to have a certain fondness for existing
soda wouldn't have that lovely fizzy feeling if you were dead. Think of all the things you would miss: Cartoons, music, movies, video games, music, art, fingernail growth, sex ... well, perhaps not sex, depending on how weird your mortician is.

Jhonen Vasquez

#75. If I were a writer, how I would enjoy being told the novel is dead. How liberating to work in the margins, outside a central perception. You are the ghoul of literature. Lovely.

Don DeLillo

#76. How nice it would be to be dead if only we could know we were dead. That is what I hate, the not being able to turn round in the grave and to say It is over.

Edward Thomas

#77. To his inner ear, the cardinal speaks. He says, I saw you, Crumb, when you were at Elvetham: scratching your balls in the dawn and wondering at the violence of the king's whims. If he wants a new wife, fix him one. I didn't, and I am dead.

Hilary Mantel

#78. We are all our own graveyards, I believe; we squat amongst the tombs of the people we were. If we're healthy, every day is a celebration, a Day of the Dead, in which we give thanks for the lives that we lived, and if we are neurotic we brood and mourn and wish that the past was still present.

Clive Barker

#79. Every night, no matter what has happened during the day, no matter if I am torn and bloodied or so bone-tired I wish I were dead, I look up at the stars and I give each star a brother's name or a sister's face. I will not sleep until I remember every one. The stars will burn out before I forget.

Cassandra Clare

#80. And feast on the dead, I thought with a shudder. As if he could read my thoughts, he pressed a hand to my shoulder. His fingers were long and white, splaying over my arm like a waxen spider. If the gesture was meant to comfort me, it failed.

Leigh Bardugo

#81. Explain! Tell a man to explain how he dropped into hell! Explain my preference! I never had a preference for her, any more than I have a preference for breathing. No other woman exists by the side of her. I would rather touch her hand if it were dead, than I would touch any other woman's living.

George Eliot

#82. I'd often slip and fall on the ice after last call, which explained the ever-present welts. If I were with a woman, I'd usually execute a precautionary vomit in the men's room in an effort avoid any ugly incidents once I got her back to her place. And they say chivalry is dead.

Dan Dunn

#83. I had always had the oddest feeling, consider it knowledge, that if I were ever to find myself inside the cockpit of a 767 with two dead piolets and afew hundred passengers in the cabin behind me, I would absolutely be able to land the ninety-thousand-pound jet.

Augusten Burroughs

#84. I had found the edge. The place where you unstrap all your fastenings to the earth, to what you are what you have been, where you flame out on the edge of the spheres, and the sun and moon become eclipsed and the world below is as dead and remote and without interest as if it were glazed with ice.

James Lee Burke

#85. What does this tell us about sharks? Should women be worried? Hard to say. How crazy are sharks for seal meat? Do dead groupers smell like used tampons? Unknown. I'd stay in my deck chair, if I were menstruating you.

Mary Roach

#86. It wouldn't have mattered if they were scratches or not," he says, his voice like liquid. "I was bitten during the escape from the house." My limbs go weak, everything inside me folding in collapsing on itself.
"I was already dead," he says, opening his eyes.

Carrie Ryan

#87. Most people are dead, and none of them seem to mind it. One hears a great many complaints about life, doesn't one? And there are people I know who would certainly grumble
however dead they were
if there were anything to grumble at.

Phyllis Bottome

#88. Furthermore, even if ideas were gettable - say, stacked in a secluded cave like the Dead Sea scrolls - I wouldn't go there. An 'idea,' especially one adhered to from start to finish, can be disastrous for a compelling piece of fiction.

Ron Rash

#89. If I were pressed, I would admit that she was beautiful, in a dead bride sort of way.

Melika Dannese Lux

#90. At least she (Thomas' mom) knows what she wants is dead. What I want just refuses to be with me. Maybe I should compare notes with her on what's worse, for I swear to God sometimes I think if you were dead this would hurt less.

Joey W. Hill

#91. I think we would be dead and gone if we were just mostly failing.

Satya Nadella

#92. The Torment turned his head to him, and frowned. "Who are you?"
"I'm ... sorry? It's me, it's Vaurien. Vaurien Scapegrace. I ... built the cellar for you?"
"Oh," the Torment said. "You. Why are you back? I thought you were dead. It would have been nice if you were dead

Derek Landy

#93. I wouldn't hunt a person down for food. But if he were already dead.

Yasmine Bleeth

#94. I would die for you. You know that. I would die without you. If it were not for you, I would be dead a hundred times over these past five years.

Cassandra Clare

#95. I see God in the face of children. If there were no children on this Earth, if somebody announced that all kids are dead, I would jump off the balcony immediately. I'm done.

Michael Jackson

#96. If countries were people, England and France would be old men. Italy would be dead. Compared with them, America is in its 20s.

Will.i.am

#97. If the tears I've shed for my fallen comrades and this nation were blood I'd be dead ...
Stanley Victor Paskavich
Disabled Gulf War Veteran

Stanley Victor Paskavich

#98. Oh Julie, wouldn't I know if you were dead? Wouldn't I feel it happening, like a jolt of electricity to my heart?

Elizabeth Wein