Funny Imagine Quotes

#1. Fear does funny things to people. Shit, Dahmer was cooking and eating people in the middle of an apartment building. Imagine what you can get away with in a no man's land.

Greg F. Gifune

#2. I hope people of the future will remember my books for being burned, and I challenge an elite few to imagine the embers of the last copy.

Bauvard

#3. I can't imagine what kind of problem Senna has. I imagine it must be some sort of grip problem.

Murray Walker

#4. I can't imagine the scientists wanting me to walk into the lab and start fiddling around with some big bowl of electrons they had out.

Jim Benton

#5. They could take sesame seeds off the market and I wouldn't even care. I can't imagine 5 years from now saying, "Remember sesame seeds? What happened? All the buns are blank!"

Mitch Hedberg

#6. David Lynch and I almost made a movie together in the late '80s. We had lots of dinners and lunches. He's a very cool, hip guy. This film, let's face it, is like an homage to him, I would imagine he'd find it funny.

Martin Short

#7. If you're public speaking, imagine yourself feeling confident; if you're nervous about a date and thinking, 'I'm gonna be a dork,' picture yourself being funny. Then it will be familiar to your brain.

Lindsey Stirling

#8. Could he actually be a decent guy?
Hard to imagine.
He was pretty to look at, though, she thought. Boys weren't objectified nearly enough, and turnabout is always fair play.

Daniel Marks

#9. Straight men just can't imagine the bliss of being in a relationship with someone who finds farting as funny as they do.

Graham Norton

#10. Mind telling me what's so funny?" he asked as he spooned beans onto their plates. "Nothing." Lorelai avoided looking at Kol. "Then if nothing is funny, you two can stop grinning at each other like village idiots and start eating your dinner. I imagine tomorrow will be another difficult day." And

C.J. Redwine

#11. It is hard for one who has not had a similar experience to imagine the terror that still gripped Taeko and Mrs. Tamaki and Hiroshi, so intense a terror that afterwards it seemed almost funny.

Jun'ichiro Tanizaki

#12. I'm telling you, the gorgeous of the world can actually look pretty intimidating when they scowl. Imagine a snow-white swan with a scary tattoo holding a chain saw. There's just no way to really prepare for that.

Jim Benton

#13. It's funny to think of Dave Chappelle's show and how popular it was and he was before YouTube. I would imagine 'Chappelle's Show' would be even more giant if there was a chance to put his stuff online and pass it around.

Paul Scheer

#14. It was because a great-looking man with no apparent mental defects found her attractive. Imagine feeling so buoyant over something so juvenile.

Maggie Shayne

#15. I try to write 'and it's all very funny' after each scene description so that the reader can imagine the movie in their head.

Noah Baumbach

#16. I ... have an unnatural fondness for him, Duchess. One might even say that I love him. As a man should love a woman, really."
"Well, I would imagine the mechanics of that would be different.

Rhys Ford

#17. Be what you would seem to be - or, if you'd like it put more simply - never imagine yourself not to be otherwise than what it might appear to others that what you were or might have been was not otherwise than what you had been would have appeared to them to be otherwise.

Lewis Carroll

#18. It's unbearable when someone changes around you. Just imagine that your life partner changes, then it is difficult to cope with. Or your mother. Or your father. They were strong and now they're like a baby - it's not so funny.

Michael Haneke

#19. Whenever anyone finds out there are seven kids in my family, the imagine my mom and dad having sex.

Rachel DeWoskin

#20. The world of Ultimate Spider-Man is funny. I can't imagine a live-action film where he's Principal Coulson and dealing with some of the pranks from these guys.

Clark Gregg

#21. Imagine if you were a drummer, and you accidentally picked up two magic wands instead of sticks. There you are, keeping the beat, the next thing you know, your bass player turns into a can of soup.

Mitch Hedberg

#22. I lacked the knowledge of linear perspective needed to get into the art school, so now I whitewash walls and imagine I'm heaven's landscape painter.

Bauvard

#23. The fact that I'm shouting that I have Gangnam style makes people crack up. Imagine if Brad Pitt was singing the song - would it be funny? A twist is important when it comes to writing lyrics.

Psy

#24. You have to have funny faces and words, you can't just have words. It is a powerful thing, and I think that's why it's hard for people to imagine that women can do that, be that powerful.

Ellen DeGeneres

#25. I think I always was a bit of a class clown, but I don't know how successful I was at that. I always think, when I read about people being class clowns, I imagine them being actually very funny, and I don't know that I was. But I tried to be, I think.

Chris Parnell

#26. It's funny, when I lived in Ohio, I would read about extraordinary, eccentric characters in books and plays, but I couldn't imagine them in real life. Then I came to New York.

Fiona Davis

#27. I don't know if I'm embarrassed because I think it's a funny show, but I could imagine there being a snootiness about it, but I do find 'The Big Bang Theory' very funny. I think that's a good show. I think it's fun, I like the actors; I think they're all doing a great job.

Stephen Merchant

#28. I whispered across the bars to Jackaby as I rose, "Shall I tell them the truth?"
"Have you killed anyone?" he asked, quietly.
"No, of course not!"
"Then I can't imagine why you shouldn't.

William Ritter

#29. 'Ugly Betty' has been the most important thing I've ever done, easily. I was able to do more with one character than I can ever imagine doing again - Hilda was hilariously funny and emotionally deep ... I really got to showcase what I could do with a character.

Ana Ortiz

#30. I'm talking about doing something good for mankind. Imagine how awesome everyone would feel if they knew all that holy stuff was real." -Gregori
"Stuff? Four years of giving sermons, and that what I get back? Holy stuff?

Kerrelyn Sparks

#31. It's just ... how do I put this? Maybe it's just hard for me to imagine turning down something that's so much harder for someone like me to find.

Liz Czukas

#32. The funny thing about history is that we imagine that people didn't laugh in the old days, but of course they did, at stupid things.

Terry Jones

#33. I would imagine that Bret would taste like a warm goat cheese, and Jemaine would taste like harvati with dill. Hmm ... I'm hungry actually.

Kristen Schaal

#34. You must never imagine, that just because something is funny, it is not also dangerous.

Neil Gaiman

#35. Please ejaculate", I silently urged the man, "so I can go to sleep". (In this way I imagine I was like millions of women before me

Jon Ronson

#36. I can't imagine actually singing on this show like I did on 'Felicity', but it would be kind of funny.

Amy Jo Johnson

#37. Imagine if the headless horseman had a headless horse. That would be chaos. I would think that if you were the headless horseman's horse, you would be very confused. "I don't think this dude can see."

Mitch Hedberg

#38. It's a funny thing about mothers and fathers. Even when their own child is the most disgusting little blister you could ever imagine, they still think that he or she is wonderful.

Roald Dahl

#39. World is so full of idiots that you can't even imagine to escape. The only solution is isolation. But it still spares one!

Raheel Farooq

#40. Imagine that, a poncho sombrero combo, I'll be off my tits on happiness.

Noel Fielding

#41. I'm showbiz-fat. It's so funny, in all the reviews that I read, no one wants to use the word 'fat' as an adjective. So I have to deal with 'dimpled-kneed,' 'hefty,' 'plus-sized,' the most obscure words you can imagine.

Marissa Jaret Winokur

#42. Sometimes, when I can't get to sleep, I imagine all the rules I'd invent if I ever got to be in charge of the world.

Sophie Kinsella

#43. I wasn't exactly sure what "nothing good" meant, but I could imagine in this world of humans, "nothing good" could mean a lot of bad things.

Tamra Torero

#44. I am not sure if women are attracted to genius. Can you imagine the wise wizard winning the woman over the gallant swordsman? It seems rather otherworldly in more ways than one.

Criss Jami

#45. I married your mother because I wanted children, imagine my disappointment when you came along.

Groucho Marx

#46. No, it's funny, when I eat out it's not typically in the kind of restaurants people might imagine.

Thomas Keller

#47. You think it's funny?" Shay said with annoyance.
"Yes." Her friend paused to get her laughter under control. "I'm sorry. It's just that you're the last person in the world I'd ever imagine marrying again after ol' Mr. Flaccid Flagpole.

Lindsey Brookes