Jim Benton Quotes

#1. School prepares you for the real world ... which also bites.

Jim Benton

#2. The Destructive Arts are exactly like Martial Arts, except they don't have uniforms or usefulness and the end result doesn't resemble art in any way.

Jim Benton

#3. Buy me stuff and I'll be nicer

Jim Benton

#4. never underestimate your dumbness!!

Jim Benton

#5. He giggled like a puppy being tickled by a kitten wearing a duckling costume.

Jim Benton

#6. I can't imagine the scientists wanting me to walk into the lab and start fiddling around with some big bowl of electrons they had out.

Jim Benton

#7. My pants cut the cheese. Let one fly. Baked a batch of brownies.

Jim Benton

#8. Love makes the world go 'round but I'm pretty sure money has to do with it, too.

Jim Benton

#9. Mrs. Palmer is a teacher so naturally I assumed she would never do anything good for me.

Jim Benton

#10. Kissing the frog to get the prince is a waste of a perfectly good frog.

Jim Benton

#11. I'm telling you, the gorgeous of the world can actually look pretty intimidating when they scowl. Imagine a snow-white swan with a scary tattoo holding a chain saw. There's just no way to really prepare for that.

Jim Benton

#12. This means that I don't have to run faster than the psychotic-maniac-vampire-cannibal, I just have to run faster than whoever is with me when the psychotic-maniac-vampire-cannibal starts chasing us.

Jim Benton

#13. For the love of all humanity, shake what your mama gave you!

Jim Benton

#14. The following ten throws went a variety of places. I never hit the target, but I was getting closer. Isabella was laughing so hard she wrote "Please stop can't breathe" in the dirt with her finger.

Jim Benton

#15. Homework strongly indicates that the teachers are not doing their jobs well enough during the school day. It's not like they'll let you bring your home stuff to school and work on it there. You can't say, 'I didn't finish sleeping at home, so I have to work on finishing my sleep here.

Jim Benton

#16. Things Isabella Wouldn't Care About:
- Titanic sinking again.
- Metror striking Earth and landing directly on top of world's most innocent panda.
- Titanic sinking again and this time the entire crew is puppies.

Jim Benton

#17. How Superheroes Make Money:
- Spider-Man knits sweaters.
- Superman screw the lids on pickle jars.
- Iron Man, as you would suspect, just irons.

Jim Benton