Funny Hitler Sayings

#1. The more Discovery Channel you watch, the less chance you have of ever meeting a woman. Because it fills your head with odd facts that can come out at any moment. "Hello. Did you know Hitler was ticklish? That sea otters have four nipples? Wait - don't run away!"

Dave Attell

#2. At moments like this he suspected that Hitler had been nothing but a harried bureaucrat and Satan himself a mental defective with a rudimentary sense of humor - the kind that finds feeding firecrackers wrapped in bread to seagulls unutterably funny.

Stephen King

#3. Whatever a woman's reason may say, her feelings tell her the truth.

Stefan Zweig

#4. 30 or 40 of such voluntary gentlemen would do more in a day than 100 of the rest that must be press'd to it by compulsion.

John Smith

#5. So, we're not enemies anymore?" She said.
"I never said I wanted to be, believe me. When I saw you sitting in your own, eating lunch, all I wanted to do was fool around and make you smile." He shot her a shy glance.

Kathryn James

#6. It's always beautiful to see people striving to grow.

Patricia Arquette

#7. I can't find someone funny whom I don't like. Hitler told great jokes. I didn't find it funny at all.

Ricky Gervais

#8. If you want to grow, you must learn to let go.

Darren Johnson

#9. The farewell between Hitler and Mussolini at the station was very affectionate. Both men were moved.

Galeazzo Ciano

#10. America is strong because its journalism is strong. That's how democracies work. They're only as good as the quality of the information that the public possesses. And that is where we come in.

Scott Pelley

#11. It's true. Hitler was a vegetarian. Just goes to show, vegetarianism, not always a good thing. Can in some extreme cases lead to genocide.

Bill Bailey

#12. I'm surprized Hitler didn't round up the toupee people.

Larry David

#13. Most people are dead. Hitler. Ray Charles. Some other guys. But mostly those two.

Louis C.K.

#14. How Your Own Mind Works You have a mind, and you should learn how to use

Joseph Murphy

#15. Adam Carolla is like Hitler if Hitler wasn't funny.

Andy Kindler

#16. Most Americans have so much crap, that you could lose most of it and still have way more stuff than the average Canadian.

Louis C.K.

#17. I realized that you could formulate theories about human and social phenomena in language and pictures and whatever you wanted on the computer, and you didn't have to go through this straitjacket, adding a lot of numbers.

Herbert A. Simon

#18. Hitler: Thank you, whoever you are. I think you just saved my life.
The Doctor: Believe me ... It was an accident.

Steven Moffat

#19. What we call art would seem to be specialist artifacts for enhancing human perception.

Marshall McLuhan

#20. Mussolini?" Leo frowned. "Wasn't he like BFFs with Hitler?

Rick Riordan

#21. It would be a really bad idea to let this person loose."

"How bad of an idea?"

"Kicking-Hitler-out-of-art-school bad.

Rin Chupeco