Funny Hello Quotes

#1. Hello? ... No I'm sorry no Shaquita here. Well what number did you dial?.. No it's a nine not a seven ... Well try it if it doest work call me back we'll figure this thing out.

Katt Williams

#2. Sorry, sorry, don't mind me, coming through, oh why hello there - " This to a particularly handsome Kai look-alike droid, which had no more reaction than any of the others. "Or not," she muttered, brushing past him. "Pardon me, a little space, please?

Marissa Meyer

#3. Don't expect people to abide by your rules if you don't clearly communicate what they are. And don't expect them to live by your rules if you're not willing to compromise and live by at least some of theirs.

Tony Robbins

#4. One drop of the sweetness of heaven is enough to take away all the sourness and bitterness of all the afflictions in the world.

Jeremiah Burroughs

#5. This is how the great post-partisan, post-racial, New Politics presidency ends-not with a bang, not with a whimper, but with a desperate election-eve plea for ethnic retribution.

Charles Krauthammer

#6. Causing harm is never just a one-way street.

Sharon Salzberg

#7. Everyone comes up to me saying, 'Cooee, Julie! Hello!' as if I know them. Of course I don't bloody know them. Am I flummoxed by it? Sometimes. I think, 'Ooh, love, go easy.' For a time, I did feel this pressure that I had to be funny, but it passes.

Julie Walters

#8. My heart started racing, not the bad kind of heart racing, like I'm going to die. But the good kind of heart racing, like, Hello, can I help you with something? If not, please step aside because I'm about to kick the shit out of life.

Maria Semple

#9. someone like Grace. Someone exactly like Grace, with her Ted Bundy rants
and her calming presence and - hello, irony.

Elle Kennedy

#10. Where do you find a stomach on a Thursday afternoon in Reno? "Chinatown?" suggests someone. "Costco?" "Butcher Boys." Tracy pulls his phone from a pocket. "Hello, I'm from the university" - the catchall preamble for unorthodox inquiries.

Mary Roach

#11. One minute, I was saying, "Hello, Mr. Bunny!" and smiling at its sweet little face and funny floppy ears. The next, the fucker savaged me.

John Cleese

#12. I've been called funny. I assume my wife thinks I'm funny. But generally, if you bumped into me and said hello, I would say hello back, politely. And that would be it.

Robert Webb

#13. The more Discovery Channel you watch, the less chance you have of ever meeting a woman. Because it fills your head with odd facts that can come out at any moment. "Hello. Did you know Hitler was ticklish? That sea otters have four nipples? Wait - don't run away!"

Dave Attell

#14. Hello little one. Did you know you're on private property?"

"Really? I had no idea." Meryn fudged.

He raised an eyebrow. "The ten foot fence right behind you didn't give it away?

Alanea Alder

#15. Hello, Miss Adler. Irene Adler. Wow," he said, his voice hushed. "This is so weird.

Colleen Gleason

#16. Theodore- Hello, Grandmother. You're looking more beautiful than ever.
His grandma- You did have to inherit your looks from someone.

Jen Turano

#17. Just like other illnesses, depression can be treated so that people can live happy, active lives.

Tom Bosley

#18. New Rule: Whenever you think the Tea Party can't get any dumber, they get dumber. Now they're in love with Donald Trump. Because nothing says "We're serious about fiscal responsibility" quite like a billionaire whose corporations have filed for bankruptcy three times.

Bill Maher

#19. Hello, Mrs. Tran ... I have David's homework. And if you ever want to see it again, you'll pay me the two million dollars I asked for.

Nenia Campbell

#20. A god who is capable of sending intelligible signals to millions of people simultaneously, and of receiving messages from all of them simultaneously, cannot be, whatever else he might be, simple. Such Bandwidth!

Richard Dawkins

#21. You kidnapped a girl. That's awesome but illegal, Davie. You're probably going to have to give her back." My hair was lifted and Mal appeared, crouched beside me. "Hey there, child bride. Where's my hello kiss?

Kylie Scott

#22. The Beta Male is seldom the strongest or the fastest, but because he can anticipate danger, he far outnumbers his Alpha Male competition. The

Christopher Moore

#23. To count upon his virtue and use it as an instrument of torture, to practice blackmail with the victim's generosity as sole means of extortion, to accept the gift of a man's good will and turn it into a tool for the giver's destruction.

Ayn Rand

#24. I beg your pardon." Tameka held up her hand and shook her head in disbelief. "Did we just get passed by a centaur?"
"We got passed by a group of them," Ran corrected.
Beckit grinned at Tameka. "Goodbye Kansas, hello Oz."
"Amen to that, sister.

M.A. Wilder

#25. Hello, beautiful. Just wrap those long, sexy legs around me and I'll ride you anywhere, any time you want." Talfryn
"This one's all yours. Go ahead, brother, wrap your long, sexy legs right around his waist and ride him all night long." Cadegan

Sherrilyn Kenyon

#26. I don't like hello. It makes me sound like I have dementia, like I've never heard a phone ring before and I don't know what's supposed to happen next. Hello?

Rainbow Rowell

#27. Besides, do you think you would have come if I'd just popped into your tattoo shop one night around closing and
said, 'Hello, I'm the Prince of Darkness. Think you could help me out
with a little war next Tuesday, say, sixish?

Richard Kadrey

#28. Her name badge read: Hello! My name is DIE, DEMIGOD SCUM!

Rick Riordan

#29. In media terms, the camera always lies, providing an edited version of reality.

Mal Fletcher

#30. I saw my ex-husband in the street. I was sitting on the steps of the new library.
Hello, my life, I said. We had once been married for twenty-seven years, so I felt justified.
He said, What? What life? No life of mine.

Grace Paley

#31. Today I dialed a wrong number ... The other person said, "Hello?" and I said, "Hello, could I speak to Joey?" ... They said, "Uh ... I don't think so ... he's only 2 months old." I said, "I'll wait."

Steven Wright

#32. I remember telling my friends I wish I had stayed in school and they didn't understand: "You've got all this money and everything you want." But it wasn't about the money. It was about how I felt right then.

Chris Bosh