Top 35 Funny Crying Sayings
#1. I was at Home Depot with my dad looking for paint when I got the call to open for Taylor Swift. That was wild, because I was crying in Home Depot, and people were looking at me funny.
Charlie Worsham
#2. Your baby is crying, says the driver to Taiwo, the Ghanian way of saying your cell phone is ringing.
Taiye Selasi
#3. I was making love to this girl and she started crying. I said, "Are you going to hate yourself in the morning?" She said, "No, I hate myself now."
Rodney Dangerfield
#4. It was almost funny, to be making this mistake. She was too old for this shit. Crying was for pussies. Making a mess of herself served no purpose at all. Now was the time to toughen up.
Kylie Scott
#5. My hope is that I may bear witness to the fact that there is a great mystery calling to us all, beckoning across the landscape of our history, promising to realize itself and to give real meaning to what is otherwise only the confusion of our lives and our collective past.
Terence McKenna
#6. Snaketail what art thou doing? called Voldemort. Then ... he started coming! We could hear his high heels clacking to us. So we got on our broomsticks and we flew to Hogwarts. We went to my room. Vampire went away. There I started crying.
Tara Gilesbie
#7. When a female cop pull you over for speeding, to get out of the ticket, talk nice to her, try to flirt or start crying, i bet she will save the ticket for you.
Werley Nortreus
#8. I have to stop crying when I watch "The View". It's not because of the topics at hand, I just feel sorry for that couch.
Zach Galifianakis
#9. I love every minute of fatherhood, staying up all night, changing nappies, kids crying, I find it really funny and inspiring. It connects you to the world in a new way.
Elton John
#10. On the stairs he was crying so much he hardly saw where he was going - not a mad boo-hoo but wailing sheets of tears, shaken into funny groans by the bump of each step as he hurried down.
Alan Hollinghurst
#12. People are funny, and in the most tragic situations, when comedy erupts from nowhere, it can turn on its head within the space of a second or a minute. You're laughing one minute and you're crying the next and that's just life for me, and that is what people are like.
Sally Hawkins
#13. I started down but Sam caught my arm and knelt down himself to look.
"For crying out loud," he said. "It's a racoon."
"Poor thing," I said.
"It could be a rabid baby-killer," Cole told me primly.
"Shut up," Sam said pleasantly.
Maggie Stiefvater
#15. I was so scared I thought my asshole was going to swallow me whole.
Mark Tufo
#16. The young woman was crying, in the way that grownups cry, keeping it inside as much as they can, and hating it when it still pushes out at the edges, making them ugly and funny-looking on the way.
Neil Gaiman
#17. However, if you do start crying in an argument and someone asks why, you can always say, I'm just crying because of how wrong you are.
Amy Poehler
#18. Are they supposed to cry so much and giggle every second when they're not crying? They never quit finding something so funny that I thought it'd break my eardrums a few times.
Mary Connealy
#19. [Humbaba's] sound is like a flood's sound
Slowly forming in the distance,
Then enveloping all other sounds
Herbert Mason
#20. And while all of your friends are grieving at your wake, I hope the sprinkler system turns on and sprays them with AIDS, hepatitis C and liquified genital warts. And while they're all running out and crying, I hope one of them slips and accidentally molests a child.
Jim Norton
#21. I hate people who cry around me. I'm not friends with them anymore. Especially girls. Cuz girls are crying all the time. It's like, 'Shut up.'
Robert Pattinson
#22. They didn't know why these things were funny. Sometimes you laugh because you've got no more room for crying. Sometimes you laugh because table manners on a beach are funny. And sometimes you laugh because you're alive, when you really shouldn't be.
Terry Pratchett
#23. I took 'P.S. I Love You' thinking it was going to be a little funny, and I ended up crying every day on that film.
Hilary Swank
#25. I'm sure I'd remember if we'd met. It doesn't happen every day to witness perfection on Earth.
Monica La Porta
#26. Whatever happens, every individual is a child of his time; so philosophy too is its own time apprehended in thoughts. It is just as absurd to fancy that a philosophy can transcend its contemporary world as it is to fancy that an individual can overleap his own age, jump over Rhodes.
Georg Wilhelm Friedrich Hegel
#27. It's sad and upsetting when you see somebody crying hysterically, but at the same time it's real funny.
Seth Green
#28. I've always said people say on a dramatic show, 'I was crying. It was so emotional when he went and grabbed that little girl from a burning building and handed her over to her mother.' In comedy, the best thing you can say is, 'I think it's funny.'
Bob Newhart
#29. I've got a little fight in me, but I think that's good.
Scott Caan
#31. Feeling funny in my mind, Lord I believe I'm fixing to die Well, I don't mind dying But I hate to leave my children crying Well, I look over yonder to that burying ground Look over yonder to that burying ground Sure seems lonesome, Lord, when the sun goes down
Bob Dylan
#32. I believe in evolution in the sense that a short-tempered man is the successor of a crybaby.
Criss Jami
#33. I'm not saying he was, like, crying tears of man pain over the phone, but he sounded upset.
Hannah Harrington
#34. An act of mastery is mastery itself.
Tehya Sky
#35. Try not to scream when I break your bones. It bothers me. You can cry if you want; that's fine."
He burst out laughing. I didn't realize that was a funny statement.
"Got it," he said, trying unsuccessful to cover his grin. "Screaming, no. Crying, yes
Amy Tintera
