Funny Cop Retirement Quotes

#1. I'm Detective Piper of the Fairyland Metro Police, and I've been called in to investigate the incident of the missing frog prince ...

A.F. Stewart

#2. I'm a fool with a size one head/
I'll change this heart of mine/
This time, this time

Richard Thompson

#3. A man never goes so far as when he does not know whither he is going.

Oliver Cromwell

#4. When I was a kid, I always envisioned myself as performing, as being in that business. It was all that I knew, so it's kind of like I'm just following in the family tradition.

Brooklyn Sudano

#5. Insanity is nothing more than a curse.

Shelby Chunn

#6. Sex is Number 1 of my Top-10 joys in retirement. Number 2 is reading How to Retire Happy, Wild, and Free. I forgot the other eight.

Ernie J Zelinski

#7. We have to thank God for this retirement.

Virgil

#8. Nothing is easier than being busy and nothing more difficult than being effective.

R. Alec MacKenzie

#9. What do gardeners do when they retire?

Bob Monkhouse

#10. There's not much high and low culture any more: there's just mingling streams of art and what matters is whether it's good art or bad art.

Neil Gaiman

#11. Laughter is a rescue. p.204

Gloria Steinem

#12. My favorite role ever was Alien in 'Spring Breakers'.

James Franco

#13. My retirement plan was in place but Bernie Maidoff with my money.

David Letterman

#14. Old teachers never die, they just grade away.

Henny Youngman

#15. At age 20, we worry about what others think of us. At age 40, we don't care what they think of us. At age 60, we discover they haven't been thinking of us at all.

Ann Landers

#16. There are three things to remember when teaching: know your stuff; know whom you are stuffing; and then stuff them elegantly.

Lola J. May

#17. I never wanted to be a millionaire. I just wanted to live like one.

Walter Hagen

#18. I unwrapped my love for her like one might unwrap leftovers. Gotta eat up the old stuff first, as a cannibal might say in a retirement home.

Dark Jar Tin Zoo

#19. I'm a damaged person, but I have hope and a will to not give up.

Juliana Hatfield

#20. Sugar Ray Leonard's retirements last about as long as Elizabeth Taylor's marriages.

Bob Arum

#21. Having done 'Misfits' for three years solid, you become known for doing one thing, so I've wanted to change things up as much as possible with each job.

Antonia Thomas

#22. Sanders was a friend of chickens.

Charles Taylor Manatt