Top 46 Funny Balls Sayings
#1. I bowl so slowly that if I don't like a ball I can run after it and bring it back
James M. Barrie
#2. If one official signals Falcons ball and Seahawks quarterback Russell Wilson signals Seahawks ball, is it a jump ball?
Norman Chad
#3. Only bad golfers are lucky. They're the ones bouncing balls off trees, curbs, turtles and cars. Good golfers have bad luck. When you hit the ball straight, a funny bounce is bound to be unlucky.
Lee Trevino
#4. I don't mean like balls-in-your-face or gifts of pornography and butt plugs romantic, just cute, over-the-pants, PG-13 movie stuff.
Frances Winkler
#5. The door opens and my new neighbor is a vampire. He's nearly a foot taller than me. Unruly ink-black hair, and a face made of knife angles. If I were obnoxious, I might use the term shockingly attractive . Or terrifyingly handsome . Holy mother of balls would also be an option.
Eva Morgan
#6. Me too, Arch," Jeremiah said. "I want an answer about my request to transfer. Even now, my balls are shrinking in anticipation of going back out in the cold. I said I'd give my life protecting humanity, but my balls were never in the bargain.
Rose Wynters
#7. Women are like shower faucets, you must treat them carefully, because if you do not, it will either burn your balls or freeze your ass.
M.F. Moonzajer
#8. Daryl Dixon: You got some balls for a Chinaman.
Glenn: I'm Korean.
Daryl Dixon: Whatever.
The Walking Dead
#9. Lay it on me"
"I was trying to. Geez, woman, make up your mind," Fane hold her, eyes glowing. She threw one hand up to hold him off.
"I meant your idea, fur ball, not your delectable body.
Quinn Loftis
#10. Racquetball is the only sport where simultaneously you can be looking at the ball and it'll hit you in the back of the head at 90 miles per hour.
Brian Regan
#11. I don't know whose bright idea it was to turn the prom into a masquerade ball, but whoever it was, I'm going to kick them in the balls for it.
Melyssa Winchester
#12. Drew's a funny guy. Because anything he gets into, he gets in 100%. Even when we were doing 'The Drew Carey Show,' he got into bowling, and suddenly he's phoning up pros for tips and carrying around 3 balls. It's just how he does it.
Ryan Stiles
#13. Aw, how could he Jorge Orta lose the ball in the sun, he's from Mexico.
Harry Caray
#15. Your words hurt, Jazz. They hurt like cotton balls thrown in my direction.
Barry Lyga
#16. I wondered if full-blooded vampires had something like blue balls for their fangs if they didn't get to feed when they were expecting to. Like some kind of pseudo-sexual gingivitis.
Sierra Dean
#17. It's not funny. How would you like it if your balls fled in fear? My balls haven't been this frightened since I dove into the icy water at the Polar Bear Plunge my first year of high school.
K.C. Faelan
#18. All you god damn dirty Catholics can cath-o-lick my balls.
Bo Burnham
#19. I own your balls, huh !" She grinned, laughing." I'll have to remember that the nest time you give me any shit. " (El Diablo)
M. Robinson
#20. I don't know how much more of this 'sugarplum' shit I can take.
I'm about ready to hand over my balls just so he can feel what it's like to have a pair again.
-Jackson 'Blame It on the Pain
Ashley Jade
#21. It's true. Goodfellow is monogamous. he's become a freak. A pervert. Depravity on the cloven hoof."
"Or his balls fell off," suggested another puck who came to the bar. "Or his dick. Anyone who would hang out with Bacchus is bound to get a catastrophic genital rotting illness at some point.
Rob Thurman
#22. Life has a funny way of creating it's own tests. It throws curve balls that make you do and think and feel things that are in direct conflict with what you had planned and don't allow you to operate in terms of black and white.
K.A. Tucker
#23. Good shot."
"Not really. I was aiming for his balls.
Laurann Dohner
#24. Atoms are round balls of wood invented by Dr. Dalton.
(Answer given by a pupil to a question on atomic theory, as reported by Sir Henry Enfield Roscoe.)
Henry Enfield Roscoe
#25. Aunt Elizabeth said, 'Do you expect to attend many balls, if I may ask?' and I said, 'Yes, when I am rich and famous.' and Aunt Elizabeth said, 'Yes, when the moon is made of green cheese.
L.M. Montgomery
#26. You're a goddam funny kid, Clivey," he said. "I got sixteen grandchildren, and there's only two of em that I think is gonna amount to duckshit, and you ain't one of em - although you're on the runner-up list - but you're the only one that can make me laugh until my balls ache.
Stephen King
#28. You're starting to look like you did before, and that's not good because what you looked like was complete shit, so get up and go to bed so I can stop acting like your mother. I can already feel my balls starting to recede. And hey, does it look like I'm growing breasts? - Kye
Krista Alasti
#29. Shoes are funny beasts. You think they're just clothes, but really, they're alive. They want things. Fancy ones with gems want to go to balls, big boots want to go to work, slippers want to dance. Or sleep. Shoes make the path you're on. Change your shoes, change your path.
Catherynne M Valente
#30. I can see why they named that ballet the Nutcracker. It's gotta hurt having 'em crushed in something that tight.
Mark A. Cooper
#31. Business, like life, is funny. We all go through difficult times, and we all have to face curve balls and challenges, each and every week. And we need to laugh when things are funny.
Ronnie Apteker
#32. I don't know how high I went, I don't wanna know. Heights are not my favorite thing. It makes my balls go in my throat just thinking about it.
Chris Kyle
#33. Self-doubt is a persuasive mistress; careful not to shag her or you'll never get your balls back. - Simon Hunt
Dannika Dark
#34. What sort of funny songs?"
"My balls are swearing my balls are swearing I can't keep my balls from sweating ohhh no."
"How is that funny?" I asked.
"As in the balls of your feet?"
"No, it's like this thing ... Never mind," he said.
Anna Carey
#35. I later discovered that in order to be a good athlete one must care intensely what is happening with a ball, even if one doesn't have possession of it. This was ultimately my failure: my inability to work up a passion for the location of balls.
Haven Kimmel
#36. Don't call 'em dogs. Dogs are loyal and they run after balls.
Louise Brown
#37. The higher you rise in the business ladder, the smaller your balls become.
Santosh Kalwar
#38. There's the perception Danni Minogue is the sweetest little thing in the world but she's not ... she's got balls of steel.
Sharon Osbourne
#39. I can't believe I've missed this sport. It's all about fingering holes and caressing balls.
K.A. Mitchell
#41. She began to curl her hair and long for balls
Jane Austen
#42. I think Pringles initial intention was to make tennis balls. But on the day that the rubber was supposed to show up, a big truckload of potatoes arrived. But Pringles is a laid back company. They said, "Screw it. Cut 'em up!"
Mitch Hedberg
#43. Girls are like Pokemon, it doesn't matter how good you are, you can't catch any if you don't have any balls.
Auliq Ice
#44. I'm OK with being single, but I'm not OK when the time comes where I have to move my furniture around and to change the high ceiling light balls ...
Hiroko Sakai
#45. Gee-word?"
"Gods. What were you doin' the day they handed out brains, boy, anyway?"
"Someone was telling a story about stealing a tiger's balls, and I had to stop and find out how it ended.
Neil Gaiman
#46. When it started to climb between my legs, my balls and its claws only separated by a thin blanket, I sincerely considered throwing it (the cat, not my member) out of the window.
John Duover
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