Financial Humor Quotes

#1. The practice of thrift is not outdated. We must discipline ourselves to live within our incomes even if it means going without or making do. The wise person can distinguish ... between basic needs and extravagant wants. Some find budgeting extremely painful, but I promise you, it is never fatal.

Marvin J. Ashton

#2. Roarke pointed a finger at Galahad who'd begun his crouch toward the berries. The cat turned his head toward the screen as if suddenly enraptured by the financial new.

J.D. Robb

#3. Happiness is being famous for your financial ability to indulge in every kind of excess.

Bill Watterson

#4. When I opened the last [401k] statement, I jumped out of the window. True, it was the kitchen window and I only fell two feet, so the whole scene lacked drama, but I thought that was the required reaction to extreme financial turmoil in America. And I am nothing if not patriotic.

Celia Rivenbark

#5. I would have my secretary of treasury be in touch with the financial centers, not only here but at home.

George W. Bush

#6. Unusual financial activity: none, unless you count the fact that someone in the family is way too into Civil War biographies. (Can this be a possible indication of Confederate insurgents still living and working in Virginia? Must research further.)

Ally Carter

#7. Mathematicians finally developed a financial model to accurately compare apples and oranges. Any two kinds of fruit can be compared, although guavas still cause minor rounding errors.

Graham Parke

#8. The reason why Absurdist plays take place in No Man's Land with only two characters is primarily financial.

Arthur Adamov

#9. She's a parasite I can't seem to get rid of. Like a bad case of financial diarrhea.

Dee Burks

#10. ( ... ) my money guy Richard is going without a tie now, like a politician who wants to appeal to the suffering common man (or perhaps every morning his firm takes the ties and shoelaces away from the brokers and financial planners to keep them from offing themselves)

Jess Walter

#11. Generally speaking, it is injudicious for ladies to attempt arguing with gentlemen on political or financial topics. All the information that a woman can possibly acquire or remember on these subjects is so small in comparison with the knowledge of men...

Samuel Orchart Beeton

#12. I'm financially ugly.

Rea Lidde

#13. Veblen called it the price-system. Mills called it the Power Elite. It's probably no more than ninety-nine people who don't know what they are doing. They're involved in high finance. Fascinating form of gambling.

John Cage

#14. The rich take life one financial year at a time. The poor take life one meal at a time.

Mokokoma Mokhonoana