Easter Humor Quotes

#1. New Rule: Someone must x-ray my stomach to see if the Peeps I ate on Easter are still in there, intact and completely undigested. And I'm not talking about this past Easter. I'm talking about the last time I celebrated Easter, in 1962.

Bill Maher

#2. Like some high official, you have to tell your brain: 'Do it. Come on. I have to do it.'

Haile Gebrselassie

#3. Deepest thoughts and major works eventually become insignificant.

Albert Camus

#4. If I'm walking very, very fast down Madison Avenue in the middle of the day, I'll say I'm stopped 10 times.

Kristin Davis

#5. Realizing God as Truth will save you hours of work in research in any field. You will be led to the right book or the right place or the right person without loss of time, or the necessary information will come to you in some other way.

Emmet Fox

#6. It's essential to tailor rehab to what impassions someone. The brain gradually learns by riveting its attention-through endless repetitions.

Diane Ackerman

#7. Sports saved my life.

Caitlyn Jenner

#8. I miss it: the smell of sand, sweat, and gunpowder, rings of salt from dried sweat on my pants' legs, and around my waist just under where my armor sits.

Adam Fenner

#9. Two Santa Clauses on the corner. How can you tell the Polish one? The one with the Easter basket.

Henny Youngman

#10. I gave the dog a last scratch and he smiled and wagged his heavy tail. He didn't look like a dog that stole and ate children. He looked like a dog that might steal chocolate-covered Easter eggs.

Richard Bradford

#11. Two thousand years ago Jesus is crucified, three days later he walks out of a cave and they celebrate with chocolate bunnies and marshmallow Peeps and beautifully decorated eggs. I guess these were things Jesus loved as a child.

Billy Crystal

#12. I got the sneaking suspicion that the vampire was a couple of Peeps short of an Easter basket.

Jim Butcher

#13. The more mechanical becomes the weapons with which we fight, the less mechanical must be the spirit which controls them.

Archibald Wavell

#14. Then, if we really want our celestial neighbors to know how far we have progressed intelectually, we should have included pictures of Santa Claus, the Easter Bunny and the Tooth Fairy

Carl Sagan

#15. Thanks to the greatly improved possibility of communication, we overrate its importance. Even stronger, we underrate the importance of isolation.

Edsger Dijkstra

#16. So I got dressed up kind of Girl With The Dragon Tattoo-y goth. As I head out, I say bye to Mum and Dad, and Mum says, 'You look cool', just as Dad says, 'You look terrifying.

Abigail Tarttelin

#17. As long as I can reach somebody, then I feel like I'm doing my job.

Bonnie McKee

#18. And meanwhile take my assurance that the clouds are lifting and that I have every hope that the light of truth is breaking through

Arthur Conan Doyle

#19. I've learned that if someone threatens my peace of mind, self-respect, or self-worth ... I must walk away. I owe it to myself ... I owe it to my future.

Steve Maraboli

#20. Anna's spiritual formation was relegated to cultural expressions of faith: the Christmas Baby Jesus and his gifts, the Easter risen Christ and his chocolate bunnies, and a copy of The Thorn Birds pulled from her mother's bookshelf.

Jill Alexander Essbaum

#21. She glanced at Jem expecting to see him blinking in surprise or hurt, but he was only smiling a little as if Will were a kitten that had tried to bite him.

Cassandra Clare

#22. Business is other people's money.

Delphine De Girardin