Douche Bag Quotes

#1. I'll rip the fucking asshole's dick off and stuff it down his douche-bag throat. Take my whip and cornhole the bastard peckerheaded fuckwad till his ass whistles "The Star Spangled Banner." Then I'll break the dried-up piece of jackwad's leg off and shove it up his ass.

Cherise Sinclair

#2. If I was a cynic I would be wondering if sooner or later some charismatic douche-bag might stomp all over this Little House on the Prairie dream of yours.

Stephen Baxter

#3. And that goddamned bald guy from The Weather Channel was in New Orleans. Everyone knew that the guy only went to the place that was going to get hit the worst. Like a bald, douche-bag weather angel of death.

S.E. Jakes

#4. I know Matt is your friend, but I think he's a douche bag.

Rebekkah Ford

#5. My mouth dropped open, because even if it wasn't my best friend, I knew the guy who was presently rubbing the short stubble on his chin. The only new thing about him was the little scar on his left eyebrow. It was Gabriel Green, known to me as Gabe the douche bag. Great!

Stephanie Witter

#6. Justin Bieber is a douche bag. Now that I have your attention, let's talk about cars.

Corey Taylor

#7. Hell, even I'm a little surprised by Nine
between this and our little heart-to-heart in the doorway earlier, I might have to upgrade him from total douche bag to minor tool.

Pittacus Lore

#8. Most people lie and let life play upon them like the tepid discharges of a douche-bag.

Lawrence Durrell

#9. Your attempt at GQ has, tragically, ended in douche-bag. - Anna, Seers of Light

Jennifer DeLucy

#10. Abs - all the assholes had them. Four to six muscles were like a graph chart to show just how big of a douche bag the guy was.

Jamie McGuire

#11. Father' is such an arbitary word. Douche bag, on the other hand ...

Becca Fitzpatrick

#12. It takes the right guy to show you how wrong the last douche bag was.

Srinivas Shenoy

#13. You're worse than a douche bag. You're a douche puddle, the excrement of a douching.

L.D. Davis

#14. Forget all of our past bullshit, okay? I've got less than a handful of days to convince you that I'm not a complete douche bag, and I want a fair shot. Give it to me.

Liz Reinhardt

#15. It wasn't until that moment I knew three things. One, I was definitely going to work tomorrow. Two, I was a total douche bag for what I was about to do. Three, the plan would be placed into action as soon as possible.

Sadie Grubor

#16. And oh my God, who brought that goddamn guitar? I want to kill them. Do you know how you can tell who the douche bag is at the party? It's the guy who starts playing the acoustic guitar.

Robin Benway

#17. The customer is always right, Brook Lynn often said. And Jessie Kay agreed ... unless the customer was a douche bag, and then he was just a douche bag.

Gena Showalter

#18. I think the world would be a simpler place if 'douche' and 'touche' were pronounced the same.

Travis J. Dahnke

#19. You can't turn love on and off like a faucet.

Meg Cabot

#20. When you fall in love,
Into an adventure you dive,
And like any adventure in life,
You may or may not survive.

Mouloud Benzadi

#21. Love can be used to drain people. Through eye contact people send a cord out to drain you long distance. Through sexual manipulation, anyone who can make you like them can drain you.

Frederick Lenz

#22. I don't really think about the audience much. I think of myself. Let me dig myself out of that one.

Henry Rollins

#23. The fact is, my friends, most Americans don't want more government. They want less government.

Mike Huckabee

#24. If a man tells you he's an asshole & that you deserve better, believe him...it's a warning. It's best you listen before he proves it to you.

April Mae Monterrosa

#25. Sometimes, the big picture is too big to see from up close.

H.M. Ward

#26. The very commonplaces of life are components of its eternal mystery.

Gertrude Atherton

#27. When you say, "Whoa! I knew I was good. But I didn't know I was this good." After that it became a complete obsession for me. I was going to go to an IIT. My dad would come into my room at three in the morning, and I'd be studying! He would say, "Swaroop, you must go to sleep, you know."' Kittu,

Michael Lewis

#28. Don't demean what I know is one of your favorite body parts.

Gil A. Waters

#29. Oh, Daisy, it's revolting the way I want to fawn all over him. I'm afraid I'm going to do something dreadfully silly today. Burst into song or something. For God's sake, don't let me.

Lisa Kleypas