Top 34 Divine Humor Quotes
#1. Why wouldn't there be divine humor? That's what the religions sometimes forget.
Art Hochberg
#2. The Bat Phone to the Universe, some kind of Iva-only, open-round-the-clock special channel to the divine.
Elizabeth Gilbert
#3. If you take on the martyr/entitlement role, two things are definitely going to happen: you'll be a lot less happier with your life, and you will have a husband not exactly wanting to come home to you.
Laura Schlessinger
#4. History does not always repeat itself. Sometimes it just yells, 'Can't you remember anything I told you?' and lets fly with a club.
John W. Campbell Jr.
#5. The feeling of awe and sense of wonder arises from the recognition of the deep mystery that surrounds us everywhere, and this feeling deepens as our knowledge grows.
Anagarika Govinda
#6. You'll find that God often chooses to speak through the dying and the insane ... A healthy person might be apt to filter the divine message, to alter it with his or her own personality. In other words, a healthy person might make a shitty prophet.
Stephen King
#7. Groupies will give you Chlamydia, Edward."
"Right, Virg. Groupies throw underwear on stage. They don't throw flowers.
Andrew Barger
#8. He had an air of magnificent melancholy sophistication, as if his proper place were elsewhere, somewhere infinitely more compelling even than Brakebills, and he'd been confined to his present setting by a grotesque divine oversight, which he tolerated with as much good humor as could be expected.
Lev Grossman
#9. The fairest thing in nature, a flower, still has its roots in earth and manure.
D.H. Lawrence
#10. The clog of all pleasure, the luggage of life, is the best can be said for a very good wife.
John Wilmot
#11. His eyes are as green as a fresh pickled toad,
His hair is as dark as a blackboard.
I wish he was mine, he's really divine,
The hero who conquered the Dark Lord.
J.K. Rowling
#12. They say that God watches out for children, drunks and fools. Simply put, this means I stand a two-thirds better chance for divine intervention in my life than most other people.
Lenny Castellaneta
#13. Harmony is about bringing things into balance and knowing how to go from sunrise to sunset. Mother Nature teaches this to us, in so many ways, each and every day.
Jaeda DeWalt
#14. No amount of effort could have stopped that, because our points of view - the way we perceive things - are inextricably linked to our beliefs, ... ,our beliefs color what we see.
Chris Crutcher
#15. He who understands philosophy understands laughter. That mysterious Word at the beginning, mentioned in the Bible, is a divine guffaw.
Alejandro Jodorowsky
#16. And specimens like this confirmed there had been some kind of divine rule in the universe because no natural selection process was up to the task of creating something like him. This was some god's, somewhere's, handiwork.
Nicole Williams
#17. In war it is necessary to kill as many people as possible
such is the cynical logic of war. Brutality in a fight is unavoidable; have you seen how cruelly children fight in the streets?
Maxim Gorky
#18. You've had time, Luce. I've given you your space." he said, the bed moaning as he stood. "I've aged fifty years in three weeks' time because I did my part and stayed away from you. But now you're here. And maybe you're not here because of me, but either way, you couldn't stay away.
Nicole Williams
#19. Of all the secrets of the Ya-Ya Sisterhood the most divine was humor.
Rebecca Wells
#20. Then based on her own recent experience, the Divine Presence had a cruelly perverse sense of humor and His Grand Plan needed drastic revision.
Judith McNaught
#21. Rumi and Shams bring to our lives the simple truth that we are not alone, that God really does care. And God's joyous love for each of us is rivaled only by Her divine sense of humor.
Jamila Hammad
#22. You have a mother?"
He quirked a brow. "Did you think mine was some sort of divine birth? My father was a remarkable man, but even he was not that talented.
Julia Quinn
#23. If anyone thinks that I amn't divine
He'll get no free drinks when I'm making the wine
But have to drink water and wish it were plain
That I make when the wine becomes water again.
James Joyce
#24. What's it going to take for you to open that door? Gold? Blood?"
"Your name and password."
"My name is Honorous Jorg Ancrath, my password is divine right. Now open the fecking door.
Mark Lawrence
#25. My culture and my language have the right to exist, and no one has the authority to dismiss that.
James Kelman
#26. He realized with sudden clarity that the power axis in a conflict shifted once your adversary had heard you plead for divine intervention while her hands and mouth and body brought you to screaming climax on her kitchen table.
Jane Rainwater
#27. I closed my eyes and prayed for divine intervention.
I waited a beat and nothing happened.
Guess God was busy with war and famine and the like.
Kristen Ashley
#28. The Universe has a great sense of humor and will often use it as a way to get our attention and reconnect us to our Divine Self.
Tonya Sheridan
#29. I'm as good as Jean-Claude Van Damme when it comes to martial arts. Sounding a little cocky aren't I
Talisa Soto
#31. Imagination is evidence of the divine, and the divine is the imagination of evidence.
Erik Banks
#32. There is such a thing as a hatred of lies and dissimulation, which is the outcome of a delicate sense of humor; there is also the selfsame hatred but as the result of cowardice, in so far as falsehood is forbidden by Divine law. Too cowardly to lie.
Friedrich Nietzsche
#34. The Lord help us!' he soliloquised in an undertone of peevish displeasure, while relieving me of my horse: looking, meantime, in my face so sourly that I charitably conjectured he must have need of divine aid to digest his dinner, and his pious ejaculation had no reference to my unexpected advent.
Emily Bronte
