Top 33 Diet Humor Quotes
#1. When I began a diet a week before my stroke, I never dreamed of such a dramatic result.
Jean-Dominique Bauby
#2. Ish #19 If your diet soda has zero calories, zero sugar and zero fat, what the hell are you drinking?
Regina Griffin
#3. Instead, we spent our downtime prodding at lifeless characters and wondering how long a human body could subsist on a diet of ramen and Coke before liver function ceased entirely.
Chris Baty
#5. Your humor is your compass and your shield. You can hone it into a weapon or you can pull its strands out to make your very own cotton-candy blanket. You can't exist on a diet of humor alone, but you can't exist on a diet without it, either.
David Levithan
#6. I finally figured out the big, elusive secret to weight loss. Don't eat! Who knew?
Richelle E. Goodrich
#7. Dammit, it's just like a man to put a rich, fattening meal in front of a woman and get offended when she won't eat, then you seem shocked in the bedroom when you're looking at her hips and wondering how she put on ten extra pounds.
Jennifer Probst
#8. Don't do it. Please. I know this book looks delicious with its light-weight pages sliced thin a prosciutto and swiss stacked in a way that would make Dagwood salivate. The scent of freshly baked words wafting up with every turn of the page. Mmmm page. But don't do it. Not yet. Don't eat this book.
Morgan Spurlock
#9. If you avoid the killer diseases and keep the degenerative ones under control with sensible diet and exercise and whatever chemotherapy you need to stay in balance, you can live nearly forever.
Wallace Stegner
#10. A dark-chocolate truffle melts in my mouth, and I forget about everything else ... even the fact that I'm on a diet.
Barbara Brooke
#11. The first thing people lose on a diet is their sense of humor. Keep it fun. Keep it light.
Gunnar Peterson
#12. If that's the case, waiter, please bring me another piece of cake," Gramps said as lunch was brought to the table, "I'm all for fighting tyranny and oppression.
E.A. Bucchianeri
#13. The commercial for Diet Dr. Pepper says it tastes just like regular Dr. Pepper. Well, then they screwed up!
Mitch Hedberg
#14. Wearing that personal trainer nametag doesn't make you right #AHOLE
A.O. Storm
#15. In the eleventh century obese English king William the Conqueror took to bed and consumed nothing but alcohol to shed pounds, a practice many of his countrymen seem to continue to this day.
David Sax
#16. If the weight comes from bacon you can so deduct it off the scale total to get your true weight. #science
Michelle M. Pillow
#17. The words, I love you, are empty without clarification. Women prefer to be told what they can expect. It is measurable like a Weight Watcher's diet, with extra points at the end of the week if you don't cheat.
Shannon L. Alder
#18. College stirred in her a certain contempt for virtues like kindness and persistence. She would have appeared to have been a kind and persistent person herself, but a steady diet of Antonioni films and an introductory course on existentialism had awakened her to the fact that she wanted more.
Garth Risk Hallberg
#19. There's no diet list I'll follow that would rule out cherry pie.
Edgar A. Guest
#20. We... Charlotta the Fourth and I... live in defiance of every known law of diet." ~ Miss Lavendar, chap 27
L.M. Montgomery
#21. Moms are so hard to understand! They'll never allow us to go on diet for fitness but forcefully make us fast in the name of God!
~Swapna Rajput~
Swapna Rajput
#22. The key to having good scales is a healthy diet of venison when you're just a wee dragon lad.
Sully Tarnish
#23. My books are my staple diet. As serious as insulin doses for those who are diabetics!
Hlovate
#24. Is there an island where people are awesome to each other with Starburst and Diet Pepsi?
Christopher Josephs
#25. I was glad to be made aware
that "Veimke" (jeune fille au pair),
is subject to natural law,
and can be made fat,
by such things as poor diet,
and alcohol.
Roman Payne
#26. 7 hour sleep diet worked great. Will power held beautifully.
Steve Martin
#27. An adequate share of humor and laughter represents an essential part of the diet of the healthy person.
Norman Cousins
#28. Delia was an overbearing cake with condescending frosting, and frankly, I was on a diet.
Maggie Stiefvater
#29. A balanced diet and a brisk daily walk will help keep you healthy, but there's nothing like a good-looking young man with a nice butt to help up your cardiovascular system.
Lois Greiman
#30. I'm doing boy detox. Like a diet, only for my emotional health.
Becca Fitzpatrick
#31. Howie's doctor told him to lose ten pounds, and since Howie's been on a diet he's gained three.
Janet Evanovich
#32. To me, Ann Romney sounds like a better candidate than her husband. She put her MS into remission through horseback riding, alternative therapies, and a healthy diet. She knows how to pace herself. She has a sense of humor and an innate honesty, and her hair moves in the wind. Maybe she should run.
Patti Davis
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