Dessert Humor Quotes

#1. Dessert doesn't count if you're sharing someone else's.

Elizabeth Jane Howard

#2. In a few minutes nobody will know what I did. Everything will be perfect again. Except for my life.
[Oscar Banks]

Pam Bachorz

#3. Sally and Chava eat only raw vegetables for lunch because they are trying to lose weight. Then they split a pack of Entenmann's doughnuts for dessert.

Leila Sales

#4. Now if you have proofs to bring forward, bring them forward, and your moral discourse as well; if you have no enthymemes, then fall back upon moral discourse: after all, it is more fitting for a good man to display himself as an honest fellow than as a subtle reasoner.

Aristotle.

#5. There is no bottom to the cake. I'm digging through the kind of soil that supports rhododendrons: it's that dark.

Joanna Walsh

#6. But it's a stigmatized problem, and it's a silent problem. This has to end. Suicide is not just a personal tragedy, it's a key issue of public policy and facing up to it requires political will.

Bob Rae

#7. Because, if we understand how a building is to be produced and we find a way that it can be more simply produced, then obviously we are contributing to building better buildings more easily.

Minoru Yamasaki

#8. I know one thing about the place I came from,' I say. 'We didn't eat dessert.'

'Then you came from a horrible and backward place and must stay here out of self-preservation.

Josin L. McQuein

#9. Sure I eat my feelings, but I save the emotional roller coaster for dessert

Josh Stern

#10. It could have been worse. He could have said he wasn't a 'dessert person' and then I would have been forced to jump out of a moving car.

Saba Kapur

#11. Imagination is like a lofty building reared to meet the sky; whereas fancy is a balloon that soars at the wind's will.

Gelett Burgess

#12. If the second date seems to be going well, it's pretty much a given that by dessert I'll renounce my faith

Josh Stern

#13. We must have a pie. Stress cannot exist in the presence of a pie.

David Mamet

#14. Life is short. Eat dessert first
-Wendy Mass, Jeremy Fink And The Meaning Of Life

Wendy Mass

#15. Consider this argument another wedge served from the malodorous pie known as "My way is Right," the dessert of choice for politicians, religious leaders, and warring pastry chefs.

Jeff Deck

#16. Eventually, mercifully, the waitress prised the spoons out of our hands and took the dessert stuff away, and we were able to stumble zombielike out into the night.

Bill Bryson

#17. My kids are so much better parent than I was.

Dick Van Dyke

#18. A thought Of that late death took all my heart for speech.

William Butler Yeats

#19. To be wise, know yourself.

Debasish Mridha

#20. Darn kids! That's it, no dessert after dinner! And if you eat my flowers again it will be an early bed time!

K.M. Shea

#21. If that's the case, waiter, please bring me another piece of cake," Gramps said as lunch was brought to the table, "I'm all for fighting tyranny and oppression.

E.A. Bucchianeri

#22. If God had wanted me to lose weight he would have made sure there was creamed spinach for dessert.

Janet Evanovich

#23. She asked if I loved another woman, so I answered honestly and said, Dinner was great, but I could go for dessert.

Dark Jar Tin Zoo

#24. I'm not a vegetarian! I'm a dessertarian!

Bill Watterson