Patrice O'Neal Quotes

#1. Who has connections to Connecticut? That's where rich people go to live the rest of their life in the woods.

Patrice O'Neal

#2. I'm a slave to the culture, so I see an Audi, a Denali, or an Escalade, my neighbor got the four-door Porsche. I have a really nice truck. But it's a Durango and I like frontin'! I like to ride by and show off.

Patrice O'Neal

#3. People say life ain't fairlife is very fair. People aren't fairpeople are terrible.

Patrice O'Neal

#4. Just making the crowd laugh is not really doing things for me anymore. That's just knowing how to kill; I've learned how to kill - but also learned when a crowd's laughter is meaningful.

Patrice O'Neal

#5. I generally don't like living in a world where being what a man is, is a horrible thing; and no matter what a woman is, is a wonderful thing.

Patrice O'Neal

#6. I'm a decent cook, and I will try to cook anything. My only weakness is that I don't know servings - I only know how to make a lot.

Patrice O'Neal

#7. Not everybody should be laughing at everything at the same time. That's not even natural. My thing is to feel natural, because I don't want to feel like I could just make people laugh at every single joke, every single time, with the same decibel level.

Patrice O'Neal

#8. I don't go to any sexy places to eat where they give you half a lamb chop and one bean. I like going, 'Uhhh, I'm done' when I eat.

Patrice O'Neal

#9. I wanna say 'China', but I don't really mean 'China.' I just mean the places that Chinese people come from.

Patrice O'Neal

#10. Women don't want to win, they want a winner.

Patrice O'Neal

#11. Having women work with men is like having a grizzly bear work with salmon ... dipped in honey.

Patrice O'Neal

#12. I'm a thigh-meat dude. Thigh is just the best meat - I don't get chicken breast. I think it's a publicity stunt that we've convinced people it's delicious.

Patrice O'Neal

#13. I've still got that little freedom part of me that wants to have a car that looks really sexy.

Patrice O'Neal

#14. What I'm trying to do is be righteous. And when I say "righteous," I don't mean God. You know? God- Righteous. I mean just when I wake up, I know I was honest to myself.

Patrice O'Neal

#15. I am that guy who will say things that people seem to think is a little edgy, a little racy.

Patrice O'Neal

#16. People have tried to corner the market on being offended, corner the market on language and corner the market on opinion. Should I lose my job 'cause I offended somebody? No, of course not. Your life should never be affected by public opinion.

Patrice O'Neal

#17. I like to be loved or hated - I don't like mediocre. So I'd rather have the entire crowd hate me than to have 90% hate me.

Patrice O'Neal

#18. Women expect us to like them, but they don't even like each other

Patrice O'Neal

#19. I'm a big buffet dude, or I'm a big cheap-food-and-order-more-when-I-need-it dude.

Patrice O'Neal

#20. I'm really glad my food comes murdered.

Patrice O'Neal

#21. The case is I talk for a living, so I should be able to say anything I want to say regardless of how you feel. What we're starting to deal with now is your opinion matters, but to be quite honest, your opinion means nothing.

Patrice O'Neal

#22. I need a little bass and I don't even need that crazy bass to break your face. I just want it to sound good when I have my favorite song.

Patrice O'Neal