Top 50 Depression Humor Quotes
#1. At times of the severest depression, humor is what binds people together.
Robert Carlyle
#2. Well, enough of this introspection. It's depressing, quite frankly.
Sol Luckman
#3. As a confirmed melancholic, I can testify that the best and maybe only antidote for melancholia is action. However, like most melancholics, I suffer also from sloth.
Edward Abbey
#5. To fit the individual to live and to function in the institutional life of his day.
Max Braithwaite
#6. Comedy is not the opposite of darkness, but its natural bedfellow. Pain makes laughter necessary; laughter makes pain tolerable.
Mindy Greenstein
#7. The values transmitted through oral history are many - courage, selflessness, the ability to endure, and to do so with humor and grace. I got those values listening to my dad's stories about the Depression and how their family survived. It gave me courage that I, too, could survive hard times.
Ann Turner
#8. I've had a lot of therapists, so I've had the opportunity to approach my fear in many different ways. I've faced it head on and sideways and tried to tiptoe up behind it.
Anna White
#9. There are only two profound ways to reach enlightenment: Laugh by yourself, or get tickled.
Saurabh Sharma
#10. Nobody evers seems to realize that a statistic is just a coincidence that has had a lot of experience.
S.L. Varnado
#11. Everyone comes with baggage, make sure you get one that comes with a rack
Josh Stern
#13. [ ... ] Depressive Episodes.
[I]Episodes.[/i] Like depression is a sitcom with a fun punch line each time. Or a TV box set loaded with cliffhangers. The only cliffhanger in my life is "Will I ever get rid of this s***?" And believe me, it gets pretty monotonous.
Sophie Kinsella
#14. Did I miss the denial, anger, and bargaining phases, or did you leap straight to depression?
Kat Lowe
#15. Since you act as though God is dead, I wanted to join you in the mourning.
The reply of Martin Luther's wife, in full funeral regalia, in trying to illustrate the folly of his depressed state.
Mark Driscoll
#16. I find nothing more depressing than optimism.
Paul Fussell
#17. I have attempted for years to make fun of Post Traumatic Stress Disorder, which is a dangerous game. It's similar to poking fun at the largest, scariest bully at your school and assuming you won't get beat up.
Kelly Wilson
#18. The Howard Hughes thing hadn't actually sounded like such a bad deal until about ... oh, eight thirty-five this morning. Something about having his ex carry him to the bathroom and help him wash his balls just took all the fun out of becoming an eccentric recluse.
Heidi Betts
#19. I'm so glad I didn't die on the various occasions I have earnestly wished I might, for I would have missed a lot of lovely weather.
Elizabeth Von Arnim
#20. Nothing mitigates the throes of depression like a steaming plate of spaghetti and meatballs with marinara sauce and grated parmasan cheese, with a good fresh bread to wipe up.
Paul Clayton
#21. As for Gussie Finknottle, many an experienced undertaker would have been deceived by his appearance and started embalming on sight.
P.G. Wodehouse
#22. Onions make me sad. A lot of people don't realize that.
Mitch Hedberg
#23. Whenever I get that sad, depressed feeling, I go out and kill a policeman.
P.G. Wodehouse
#25. I realized at that moment that depression and I will always be linked, tugging back and forth, like the drunken uncle who still gets invited to the family reunion even though everyone knows he's going to make a messy scene.
Kelly Wilson
#26. I think I might be bi-polar. It's not normal to be this emotionally unstable.
Michelle N. Onuorah
#27. Good humor is a tonic for mind and body. It is the best antidote for anxiety and depression. It is a business asset. It attracts and keeps friends. It lightens human burdens. It is the direct route to serenity and contentment.
Grenville Kleiser
#28. I love new clothes. If everyone could just wear new clothes everyday, I reckon depression wouldn't exist anymore.
Sophie Kinsella
#29. Somebody stop the world. I'm scared and I want to get off.
James Delano
#30. Maybe tranquility is the dirt under my nails. I know it's there but I never feel like digging it out.
Casey Renee Kiser
#31. The first ten million years were the worst," said Marvin, "and the second ten million years, they were the worst too. The third ten million years I didn't enjoy at all. After that I went into a bit of a decline.
Douglas Adams
#32. Prideful fool. It hurt his feelings that he couldn't make my crazy go away. You know how men are. Always trying to fix things can't be fixed.
Ken Wheaton
#33. I'm a comedian, and I have my share of anxiety and depression; so do most of my friends. My humor tends to lie in the juxtaposition of extreme lightness - I'm a huge musical-theater fan - and extreme darkness. And so I really like playing with those because that's how I feel.
Rachel Bloom
#34. Suiffy, have you ever felt a sort of strange emptiness in the heart? A sort of aching void of the soul?'
'Oh, rather!'
'What do you do about it?'
'I generally take a couple of cocktails.
P.G. Wodehouse
#35. What's the difference between depression and South America?
If you really had to, you could conquer South America.
Doug Westberg
#36. Maybe I just didn't want it to be Benny because he really loves her, and if I was wrong about that, it'd be depressing. Who wants to be depressed?"
"Poets," Eve decided. "You have to think they must."
"Okay, other than poets.
J.D. Robb
#37. He comes.
And he comes
loaded
with noise pollution.
If I ever prayed for anything,
it was for a man
to shut up.
Casey Renee Kiser
#38. A sense of humor is the best indicator that you will recover; it is often the best indicator that people will love you. Sustain that and you have hope.
Andrew Solomon
#39. Why did the undertaker sink into a deep depression?
Because he was already one foot in the grave
Stephan Attia
#40. When your past shows up to haunt you, make sure it comes after supper so it doesn't ruin your whole day.
Jay Wickre
#41. You've always been nuts. That's fine. I can deal with nuts. But lately, you've been depressed nuts. I can't deal with that.
- Anthony
Jennifer Crusie
#42. We will remember what it was like to lose you, our pain the black background of our electric blue joy. We will remember that there are few answers to our questions; the questions that seem to float into an endless expanse of sky.
Kelly Wilson
#43. Oh, precious losing streak,
you're too cute for your own good.
I try to laugh about it
but my face is made of wood.
Casey Renee Kiser
#44. There's major depression, and then there's clinical depression. Major depression is what makes you jump off a bridge. I have clinical depression. I jump out of first story windows. It's the psychological equivalent of lying on a bed of rubber nails.
Doug Westberg
#45. The first thing the therapist asked me was, 'Are you here because you're depressed?' I said, 'Not at all--I'm here because I'm Southern.'" Anne Herndon
Maryln Schwartz
#46. I have become conscious of my own "cry face." My face puckers like the business end of a hot dog except for my mouth, which stretches in a grimace so wide as to accommodate said hotdog horizontally within it. It's not pretty.
Kelly Wilson
#47. Smiles are a funny thing
and laughter is hilarious.
I smile sometimes
when I am delirious.
Casey Renee Kiser
#48. A melancholy-looking man, he had the appearance of one who has searched for the leak in life's gas-pipe with a lighted candle.
P.G. Wodehouse
#49. Debbie Downer was one of the few sketches where I broke, and I remember watching Heratio Sanz laugh so hard that tears squirted out of his eyes. I still believe that sketch may be a cure for low-level depression if watched regularly.
Amy Poehler
#50. Remembering the past is always gilded in golden nostalgia. Anticipating the future is always softened with hope. Dealing with the present is just straight up unpleasant.
Tim McGiven
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